Why Do We Lose Ourselves To Fit In?
In today’s powerful short, Dr. Gabor Maté shares a hard truth: when we grow up in environments that don’t support our true selves, we often learn to abandon our gut feelings to survive. That disconnection becomes a long-term pattern—one that silently shapes how we show up in adult relationships.
According to Dr. Maté, giving up our authenticity may help us maintain attachment in childhood, but it comes at a steep cost. We end up living out of alignment with ourselves, unable to express how we truly feel, and trapped in relationships where we’re never fully seen.
This video is a wake-up call for anyone who has ever felt emotionally numb, afraid to speak their truth, or stuck in inauthentic connections. The implications for your mental health, emotional intelligence, and personal growth are enormous.
🎯 If you’ve ever felt like you’re hiding just to be accepted, this is for you.
🎥 Watch till the end—Dr. Maté’s final words may shift how you view your entire life story.
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#TraumaHealing #SelfAwareness #Authenticity #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth
9 Comments
The idea that we lose our authenticity just to feel safe… that’s something a lot of us carry without even realizing it.
💭 Have you ever found yourself unable to say what you truly feel in a relationship? Do you think you’re still adjusting your identity to fit in?
Dr. Maté’s insight cuts deep—when we ignore our gut to preserve attachment, we end up trapped in lives that don’t reflect who we really are. That’s not survival… it’s self-abandonment.
👇 Let’s talk. Share your story, challenge the idea, or drop a 💬 if this made you think twice.
Dr. Mate, thank you. This is so meaningful. I find that as I become more authentic, my relationships change. Supporting the continuation of a relationship through inauthenticity is exhausting and unfulfilling. I can be authentic alone, and slowly find relationships where I can be my authentic self.
Seems in an 'emotional neglect' situation, being inauthentic to not make waves, results in rejection anyway, or at least dismissal.
Thank You Dr . Mate. I listen to your talks and they've helped me so much! I'm an alcoholic and addict that no longer uses alcohol and drugs in order to live with myself.
This is why I am the Family rebel. I wouldn't change to fit in. Decades later, they accept Me as I am. Bless you mom, for always accepting me, regardless of society or outside opinions. ❤
This is why I feel better when I'm alone — I don't have to pretend
This man is a saint
It is hard when your family doesn't accept you. It feels like being adrift in a leaky boat and nobody comes.❤❤❤
Bingo. On here, for 55 years, so far; glad it shouldn't be much longer. Especially with our US healthcare system in charge of our lliving or dying, to the extent they are.