5 Signs You Are Seeing a BAD Therapist!
Hey everybody! Today we’re gonna talk about 5 warning signs that you’re seeing a bad therapist *music* let’s just jump right into it. I heard from a lot of you that you are seeing someone who hasn’t been working for you or something bad has happened and so I think it’s important for us to talk about how do we know when we’re seeing a bad therapist and the first is that we feel like we have to prove something like they don’t really believe you when you say you’re having a hard time or you’re struggling with XY or Z and so we therefore try to make it worse because we feel like we need to prove how sick we are second and something that would drive me crazy is that they don’t remember anything they never remember what we talked about last. They don’t remember what your sister’s name was or what you did or what the whole reason that you’re here and that one thing you talked about a few weeks ago they just don’t remember anything it makes you feel like they’re not even listening. The third is one that I actually talked about in a previous video ethics and therapy but that is when your therapist allows you to text call or email them anytime and they get right back to you and the reason this isn’t good is because it actually creates a really unhealthy relationship it makes you completely dependent on your therapist versus the healthy thing which is I’m going to teach you some tips and tricks and then you go out in the world new practice come back and let me know how it goes and obviously there is the caveat that if we are suicidal there may be a safety plan in place where we call or text or therapist when we’re feeling like we’re a danger to ourselves and they meet us at the hospital or something like that the fourth sign and one that I don’t think people talk about enough is if you just chat like friends and you never work on anything you don’t actually get anything done there’s no treatment plan there’s no goals we’re not really working towards anything we’re just kind of paying to hang out and in truth that’s not therapy at all now obviously if we’ve been working with our therapist for a long time and now we’re doing well and we find ourselves having less and less talk about congratulations that means that you’ve met all your goals and it’s time to stop therapy for a while but if we’ve never worked for anything or many of our goals and we’re just chatting like friends then I think it’s time to find somebody else. Fifth and final warning sign that you have a bad therapist is that they talk about themselves a lot this is your time I know that it feels weird at first because we’re used to conversations being two way but in therapy it’s all about the client if I wanted to talk about myself what that really means is as a therapist I need to get in therapy because if I can’t give you your whole hour and focus on you and your progress that I’m not being a therapist at all hope it was helpful I get a lot of questions all the time about whether or not this is ethical behavior whether or not, they- you’re with a good therapist or bad therapist and I hope this just kind of shows you some red flags and signs and warnings to know that you need to get out and find someone better because we all deserve to get help, right? By the time we reach out sometimes we feel like we’re at the end of our rope and I just want each and every one of you to get the proper help that you need and deserve and please share this because I don’t think people talk about this enough and I think it’s important for us all to know and if you’re new here, click to subscribe and if you want more videos about behind the scenes of the therapists look over here and I will see you next time. Bye!
I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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47 Comments
You missed a very, very crucial one. Labeling. A therapist who puts a label on their client is a bad "therapist".
#4 and #5 are related, and #5 can attach to talking about OTHER PATIENTS. Yes, I had a "hang out" kind of therapist (#4) who spent an inordinate amount of time talking about himself (#5) AND long drawn out stories about other clients, giving essentially every detail of their problems except their names, and even worse, HIS OPINION ABOUT THOSE PROBLEMS. He was so dangerously near the HIPAA violation line I was starting to withdraw from telling him too much about ME, lest the world hear about it.
1:41 This is most therapist I've seen.. my insurance is paying them to just talk and hang out..
Great advice! thanks!
very bad
Is there such a thing as a good one. They're all scam artist.
I had a therapist who matched the last one, and I have a few to add.
She would always relate what was going on in her personal life to whatever I was struggling with–she's the only therapist I've ever had that I knew so much about her personal life. It didn't feel normal.
It was 2020, so this was over Zoom. I got into a shouting match with the therapist, who refused to let me consider other options. She insisted that hers was the right one. Like, to the point where we'd been arguing for at least five minutes, if not more.
I'm a formerly parentified child. I was an only child, but my parents used me as therapists and emotional dumping grounds, among other things. I had a terrible childhood. My therapist claimed she was shocked that I didn't have "only child syndrome," and told me that I should've been spoiled rotten and be a narcissist.
It got to the point where I was dreading her sessions, I wanted to get them over with, and the only reason I hadn't dumped her was because I was terrified of confrontation. Something she was supposed to be working on with me, too, being more assertive.
I never wanted to tell her anything personal after that shouting match because I stopped trusting her. She criticized my choices and judged me.
My guess is finding out that the diddler piece of shit is a baby molestor and his wife and family had a cult based on it …
My therapist was the one who started texting me and would respond to my texts right away. She made me become so dependent on her. Now that I am having a crisis, she completely stopped with the texts and check ins. Now I feel so abandoned and rejected and feel like I cannot trust her anymore.
i know this is a very old video but actually it's not bad if your therapist doesn't remember IF they write down notes in their work book
I was telling my therapist about my issues and she told me “well, I don’t know what to tell you” 🥲
When I was younger (40 to 25 years ago, with long gaps in between periods of therapy) I experienced more than one bad or harmful therapist, and they did have some things in common, but they were not necessarily the signs discussed in this video. I also don't know if therapy has changed now. The worst things were:
Terrifying, baffling silences
Waiting passively for me to decide what to talk about, but giving no guidance as to how therapy worked or how I could know what it was useful to discuss. Consequently, with hindsight there were important things we never or almost never discussed, because I did not realise they were important or I thought the therapist would not take them seriously
The therapist telling me I had, perhaps unconsciously, chosen to have my problems but not pursuing that point further, leaving me wallowing in guilt. I was socially isolated at the time and was told I must have chosen to be. This meant I was never able in therapy to discuss my regret at having no real friends or the effects that loneliness had on me, since IT WAS ALL MY FAULT that I had CHOSEN this situation, so I did not think I had any right to grieve for it or discuss how it was affecting me, I could only feel hatred for myself.
The lack of positive encouragement. Some therapists made me feel e.g. that lacking friends was YET ANOTHER THING I HAD DONE WRONG, which meant I went into social encounters feeling defective and unworthy.
Yet they never, not even once in a year or 2 years of therapy, told me in a positive way that I was a good enough person that I deserved to have friends, or that interesting and likeable people could want to be friends with me, or to think of a happier social life as something to which I could positively look forward, to give me hope and motivation.
And not talking about themselves at all. Like they are some superhuman and not also a person. How can you open up to a wall. Therapist must be genuine to be able to help, and that means that they have to havegone through with their own issues and achieved some depth of understanding themselves and others. Todays short shallow type of educations which prevail more and more are not contributing. That is just one of the things why it is so hard to be a good therapist.
My therapist forgets what I mentioned to her, that is actually very important and relevant information. Not only that, but she falls asleep during our sessions, without even trying to hide it. But forget that….the very unfortunate part is that she literally said that my family member molesting me is not "unique" and actually "super common….you haven't heard that before?" I replied, " I obviously know these experienced happen to others, but it is difficult to come to terms with…." She gets upset with me and literally rolls her eyes.
I wouldn't suggest therapy I've had way too many had experiences a lot of those people who are child therapist or therapist in general are child predators or have for complexes and blame the kids for their own abuse. From age 7-20 there were only a few social service people who didn't blame my mom cousins or I for having been sexually and physically and emotionally abused by our relatives. But I would suggest talking about it on forums where ppl were sexually abused and they can understand how it happens. I wouldn't trust those doctors or strangers with this kind of thing because people are monsters. You are not a monster you are fine. Being a kid it's important to remember you aren't responsible for anything that happens. Also psychiatrists are predatory and sadistic they tried to force me to admit abuse I didn't want to talk about and then tried to say I was hallucinating the abuse- and ignored when I mentioned my dad was arrested for abuse before and is on a list. They all completely ignored me and blamed me for everything. These people are sick and twisted. They enjoy hearing about abuse and then making you believe rape and beatings are okay. I'll never trust a damn insecure phony sadistic high-p itched voice 'professional again.
Too much typing you don't remember anything talk many things and they only figure what's the gaps of your life. They even call people behind your back to talk about what you speak with them them tell them dont say i call you.they do call when you already see them way to many times ,you ask for any document ( letter) and they end it with feel free and contact me but you haven't authorized the release of info only what you ask on writing.
My therapist should actually change her career to become a lawyer. She argues with everything I say, as though it is a debate. Instead of providing me support or guiding me in a different direction, she is condescending and argumentative. I feel like I am in high school on the debate team again. She has issues of her own, clearly. Instead of helping me emotionally, she states that I contradict myself, even though she is the one who contradicts herself. For example, I told her that I do want to pursue a new career, but first want to get my physical health improved and have many medical appointments. She was literally confused by this simple comment, stating that I contadict myself…"you want a career….but you don't…. maybe you just don't want the money because you don't need it," she stated. Pretty judgmental, especially when I am NOT wealthy!
She also told me that even sadistic family abuse is no longer an excuse for anything after a decade has passed…….What the hell is wrong with THESE therapists?
We don't have many days here on this earth. I must make the most of this precious life.
What about a therapist who takes your private sessions shares the dialogue on YouTube and disguises it as their own personal experience. Bc I got a story for you. This happened to my husband and I don’t know that the damage can be undone
I ache for love
I ache for Bryan
45 years old
never been in a relationship
not a real one
nothing more than a long horrific series of abusive situationships
with hell-ish disgusting abhorrent men
who both literally and figuratively:
raped my self esteem out of me
red hot white burning homicidal rage
I AM RAPED
my whole life
all of it
so far
my self esteem and sense of self worth
have been brutally viciously violently covertly subtly
raped out of me
how to heal now?
how to undo the damage?
*************************************
affirmations to heal
* I now attract my true real love soul mate
* My soul mate is attracted to me
* I am now attracting the most loving person in my life
* My soul mate and I are being drawn together NOW
* I love being with my soul mate
* My heart is open to love; I receive love NOW
* I attract the perfect loving partner
* I naturally attract loving-healthy-fun-wonderful-close relationships into my life
* I am in the right place at the right time to meet my soul mate
* I let Jesus guide me to my soul mate
* I release everything that is standing in the way of finding my soul mate
* I love myself and I naturally attract loving relationships into my life
* I trust my own self and open the doors to love
* My soul mate is entering into my life now
As you turn to God in prayer,
know that you are being divinely led
to the people and situations that bring you joy.
Through God's gentle, loving guidance, you connect-
heart-to-heart-with people whom you can share common goals and activities and build lasting relationships.
I envision you as happy and fulfilled.
I invite you to speak the following affirmation as we pray together:
"I am divinely guided to the person who will bless my life in wonderful ways
and to whom I can be a blessing."
I had a therapist that would be on her tablet swiping and not even looking at me when i would talk also she answered phone calls in the middle of sessions.
all of them are bad, so just see none
#1. Sign that you're seeing a bad therapist. You watched this video all the way through.
I am Gen X, therapy used to be for providing insights for deep psychological emotional issues. But l read the comments people seek therapist because of phone addictions and can't get out of bed on times, just hilarious.
I saw the same therapist on a monthly basis for four years. I came out of it much worse than when we started. My main concern was all the senseless things I was doing because of my parents’ abuse. I figured things out on my own a year after I quit going there. During my sessions we talked about many of the behaviors I was doing and received very surface level advice. There were many darker things I had done and abusive acts of my parents I left unshared because I didn’t see their relevance at the time. Is it the job of the therapist to get these details out to us so much deeper issues can be solved?
A bad therapist can also insult you systematically, hiding that behind good intentions.
Sign number 1: you’re seeing a therapist
Good thing is my therapist is quite good.
A therapist can share personal experiences if it benefits the client. Make it short and brief.
I want to say this. THERAPISTS BUST THEIR BUTTS to help people. We are under paid and we get little thanks. Please be appreciative of our services and those who hold space for you.
As a kid I had a therapist to help me out with my trauma as a kid but ended up telling my parents everything and got upset when I wouldn’t trust her and left
My last therapist seemed amazing at the time but now I’m seeing so many red flags. She was always teachable and encouraged me to reach out during the week. I still never did. Still won’t see another one because she was so bad and I don’t trust any of them.
i had this one female thera-pest who would talk about her personal life and complaining to me. she said “I only have one friend, because I don't wanna be friends with anyone who calls me the B-word, or any swear word, I don't know how to cook so i go to my mom's house to get fed like a literal baby, my daughter doesn't shower, because all she wants to do is play Roblox, and my husband doesn't wear what i want, waaaaaaa” blah blah blah 😪💤😪💤
Most therapists are only helpful for people with otherwise proper function brains. If you don't fit in mostely they just lack the knowledge on how a brain works anyhow..
First ptsd therapist was plain lazy. The 2nd one had me develop a trauma bond and abused me for 14 years. The last one didn't let me call her for support and let me hanging for hours when I emailed. I have had enough
Does box thinking, arrogance, and demanding full compliance from the patient or else he/she can forget about any sort of help count? Because that happened to me today.
Sometimes therapist just need therapy.
Loved this!
Can you elaborate on the fourth point?? 4th point: We just hang out as friends.
The biggest red flag from a evil therapist is if they threaten t have you locked up
Hence why all therapists can never be trusted
What about a therapist that talks negatively about their ex that has the same disorder as you and you tell them that it made you feel uncomfortable so then they say you dont have that disirder you are bipolar. They just change your disorder ti cover their azz? So you get another in same company and they invalidate you because it's their coworker?
My therapist and I
Me: I grew up with no boundaries and I am finally learning to say no to people case in point xyz example.
Therapist: Wow- I know now not to ever cross you! You would completely eviscerate me!
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You need to stop bitchin'
My therapist basically influenced me to hurt her more and I didn’t realize it
I had a therapist for depression and anxiety. She missed two of 5 therapy sessions. Then, on July 14th, she said she was moving on to a different job and our sessions were over. She said she was confident I was doing better. I wished her well at her new job, but I hadn't even begun to trust her yet and hadn't spoken candidly about issues I was having. The whole thing left me feeling sort of worthless. Bummer, but I think I'll probably be able to do research on adjustment methods for depression, alienation and caregiver burnout via the web.
I'm in therapy because I'm diagnosed with Autism (ASD-1), ADHD, and Depression. My main issue has been 100% lifelong rejection for the past 35 years. I went into therapy wanting to learn how to actually have a conversation with someone and connect with them. Turns out way therapy is structured is actually dangerous to people like me because it simulates the same exact one sideded, cold, detatched interaction with someone. I hate it so much. I truly feel like theres no hope for people like me. Society is totally backwards. Anti-human, scripted, fake, inauthentic, fearful, and paranoid of any sort of real human connection.
6th sign. Your therapist is called Kati and also a youtuber.
Call Dr. victor blaine. Best therapist of all time
6) if they hate you for your religious or political views.