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Let’s Talk About Male Suicidality



Let’s Talk About Male Suicidality

up to 60 percent of men who kill themselves have no evidence of mental illness so I think one of the biggest strategies that we’re perpetrating right now potentially is that when we look at male suicide we are assuming that this is a pathology of the mind this person is sick instead of understanding that it’s possible that half of the men who kill themselves or more don’t kill themselves because they’re ill they kill themselves because they’re genuinely in a position where death is the only way out if we assume it’s mental illness we don’t try to fix the problems that are pushing them towards suicide really really scary thing that’s going on and I’m not saying that mental illness does not lead to suicide and people shouldn’t get therapy and things like that so when I have a patient who’s in a traumatic and abusive relationship and they’re suicidal therapy may help them somewhat the suicide but the most important thing I can do for that person’s suicidality is to help them build a life where they’re no longer abused it’s to change something in their life not to change them

Full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdM8r6R3FfM&t=4220s

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View 46 Comments

46 Comments

  3. @yeastov5470 on

    I think about killing myself daily and it's just because I look at my life, realise this is gonna keep on happening with a gradually worsening quality of life and think "is this worth it?"

    I'm not mentally ill, I'm just tired of being alive. I went to therapy, and it did nothing to change how I feel about it.

    I don't think I'm going to kill myself any time soon, but in 10 years time? I wouldn't doubt it if someone told me that's how I die.

  5. @loadingmikke7451 on

    I think it's also a decision about impulsivity and when drugs or alcohol is involved.
    Alot of them could be avoided if not abusing substances when in an psychological distressing episode. But if you dont know any other way of coping mechanisms thats hard to do.

  6. @hiro_444 on

    Finally seeing healthygamer take a good stance on men's issues for the first time. I had stopped watching the channel after seeing all the age old ideology of putting women before men and this community turning into upholding "stop misogynists" as a higher priority than "helping people". Hope this change lead to better advices o7

  7. @AquaStockYT on

    Almost like social stimuli are coercing men into feeling alone and valueless. Wonder if there's any solutions that don't require men to just deal with systemic imbalance.

  8. @FiltyIncognito on

    Maybe the official recognition for suicide risk shouldn't be such a horror show or have so much negative social stigma.

    If you've been through or are otherwise aware of what happens in the system, it's no surprise that some people would prefer to handle things privately and on their own terms.

  9. @maenad1231 on

    “Is the only way out”
    Can we please stop and acknowledge how often it’s being slapped in the face with the realization they’re gonna be in a prison cell for what they just did ??

  10. @RedMan-zy3kz on

    That's exactly it, all social help and programs are for women. In Vanada we have 67000 women's shelters and about 75 men's shelters even though DV rates are 50/50. It's easy to feel like no one cares when feminist groups actively campaign against showing compassion for your struggles or general existence

  12. @vmdenis3350 on

    if you feel that way, change something in your life that burdens you, if you fat do some work out( running swimming gym), if you not social get off the internet and go outside get coffee go to a museum (again gym), if your workplace is not what you wanted start branching out get a new job preferably something that you didn't do before

  13. @lukewang2187 on

    Nah death ain’t the only way out. I can probably get out of the work situation that I’m currently in. It’s just what does that even do? The entire reason I don’t like work is cuz bad management and clashing personalities. Who’s to say that it won’t happen or even be worse at my next occupation? Then I zoom out some more and see that even the highest paid, most prestigious jobs have the same issue and I don’t see a reason as to why I should even try to improve myself. I don’t need any extra money currently and improving myself to get a “better” job doesn’t mean it will fix my issue. I just think that life is over 50% suffering and hence it’s not worth living. If the majority of life is just suffering/struggling, what is even the point of living through it all? Only thing keeping my alive is my family and dog. Once they go, I go.

  14. @UnlimitedFlyers on

    Can confirm. I spent two years with a toxic partner parasite that made my life miserable, would NOT leave me until he financially bankrupted me, attempted on my life TWICE and every day would have at least FIVE arguments between us. Being a narcissist and me being his focus of obsession, he systematically cut me off from my safety net and circle of friends, acquaintances and social contacts until he was the only one I was spending time with; he even cut me off from my own family.

    And yes, at one point, I did consider jumping off from my balcony and hoping to splatter right onto the pavewalk. At least then, the suffering would be over. Death as a release seemed a much preferrable alternative to the Living Hell I was going through. Buddha smiled upon me, however, and despite a series of difficulties, here I am today to share this with all of you.

  22. @lindsaywhitney6305 on

    Kinda useless to say no previous history of mental illness cause most men would never go to a psychologist to get those diagnoses. Obviously these men had undiagnosed mental illness.

  23. @omedon666 on

    We need to normalize the right to die, and fast, for people that rightfully come to the conclusion that their existence has exceeded their life. We have reached the critical mass state of what George Carlin once famously said about how we can add years to life but not life to years. Retirement is going extinct. People breathing right now will witness or be part of generations who reach an advanced age where they can no longer work, and will thus no longer have income, who could not save while working and have no money, and the social safety net fails. There's only one out there.

    Everyone needs to get real familiar with the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Half a Life." That's where we are headed.

  25. @edwardlewis1963 on

    1: death is inevitable
    2: when 2 armies are facing each other preparing for battle, are they not suicidal?
    3: it's part of the male psyche:
    WHAT HILL SHALL I CHOOSE TO DIE ON.

  31. @iantodoyle5074 on

    Yup, I have been there….I couldn't bear waking up to another day. I was depressed, crippling anxiety. The thing that kept me going was I couldn't do it to my family. Having got CBT therapy, taking ectasy (carefully) and some shrooms plus homeopathy. I slowly improved. It took a few years, but life is worth living again. I had to work on my relationship with my wife, which has come good. Mental health issues really mean changing myself, my relationships and dealing with shit socioeconomic issues. I lost meaningful connection with friends and nature. Sometimes my greatest solice was the trees and plants. Humans are weird AF…. nature heals. My childhood was traumatic, but I did a bit better for my kids than happened to me. Now I am nearly qualified as a life coach. When helping people who are suicidal or self harming I am okay with it, because I get it. Something in your life needs to die rather than you….kind of thing helps. Love Dr K btw.

  33. @icet-oj5yc on

    Hmm continue to live a miserable life or have it all go away forever instantly… seems like a no brainer…and yet I don’t know why I’m still pretending it isn’t..

  36. @johnnywilkman on

    Well when you're disabled and the section 8 waiting list is a decade and all the food banks are tapped out and you're eating one meal a day and you know it will only get worse, it's a fact it's a situation you can't get out of. They don't even have homeless shelters where I live, not that I would ever even consider it. I believe I'm worth more than that. I believe I'm worth at least a normal average life with a house and all my basic needs met as does everyone else. But living with said disabilities, you can't and you know you can't get out of it. We're at a point in this world where it's not try harder it's like, it's a economical mathematical fact you can't get out of it. Only way people with disability can make it out of it or not even make it out of it but make it livable, is having a family that you can live with and support you but not everyone has that. And if you don't, your destined to a horrible poverty-stricken life and homelessness. And not only is the waiting list 10 years, it never ends it's actually more than 10 years if you're a single male because they keep pushing you back further on the list when people like single mothers with kids get on the list they push you back further indefinitely and you never get it. I know of someone who was on the list for 14 years and still waiting.

  40. @attilakormanyos2381 on

    Adam back at it again … i cant put it into words how delusional he is. “Its coke if hunter biden is there”. Why do you say that ? Do you know Macron and the others ? They can have secrets … its just happens that Hunter is a cokehead and its proven. Its not proven in these ppl’s case, so they r not doing drugs ?

    Ps: I came to the conclusion in life: if theres money, theres drugs … and thats the reality.

  42. @ChaosMakesTheMuse on

    Hi! I've been very interested in psychology/mental illnesses, especially in men. So if you would like to tell someone your story, you could! Don't worry about your story being too long, take your time, I'll read everything 🙂

    + you can always ask me questions, i'm an open book 🙂

  43. @JWStreeter on

    It's easy to refute an anti-suicide position. Simply ask: if a blind quadriplegic starts developing dementia, would you say it's unreasonable for them to want to die? (if they say yes, then they're a fool and not worth talking to ever again).

    If they say no, that's not unreasonable, then you can get them to admit that suicide is justified in some circumstances. Sure, maybe it's not justified in all cases, but to pretend that there aren't genuine circumstances that warrant suicide is an absolutely asinine belief system.

  44. @TheMandalor69 on

    Dr. K I respect you but I get a bit sceptical about this claim that you keep on doing. I don’t say that it is necessarily wrong but you might understand my difficulties trusting it when not only it does sound counterintuitive but your claimed percentage of men for which this is true keeps changing (in a podcast you said 50% and I think sometimes you also say only 33%). So my question is if this is actually true and if you can maybe support it with some sources.

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