Jacob Ward: Connection, Mental Health & The Power of Showing Up For YOURSELF & OTHERS! #motivation
Something that I found really difficult was just committing to my first event, right? Like, I’m going to test myself. I’m going to push my limits and I’m going to try something new. Well, maybe I can help someone run their first 5K. I I really struggled kind of separating my identity from the content creator and myself. And there was there was no real difference. I think it can be easy, especially if you’re working from home, to actually, you know, there’s no reason to go outside. there’s no reason to meet people and you kind of start to build up a bit of anxiety around actually going out and meeting people. Um, you know, fear of judgment and stuff like that. My name is Jacob Ward. Um, I’m a fitness content creator. I’ve been doing it for about 10, 11 years now, so quite a while. Um, and I just love all things sport, exercise, and I guess I’m really about kind of um, creating community through exercise. That’s something that’s become a huge thing for me recently and trying to make exercise accessible for all. I’d say that kind of summarizes me quite nicely. I love the I love the community element to what you do and look, we’ll get into that down the line because we did something pretty cool together uh quite recently and more stuff coming up as well. But that community angle of of kind of your your personality, your brand, what you do online, was there a reason that you kind of went in in that direction and it wasn’t just the kind of self creation? Yeah, I I’d say so for me personally, I grew up in the Cotswwells um in quite a remote village. So that was kind of me until went to Union Birmingham for a couple of years and that kind of gave me a taste of city life. But um moved to London about 3 years ago and I kind of moved to London you know with the thought process I’m going to meet so many people you know it’s such a big city I’m going to get to kind of interact with those people make new friends and I actually found that it was more difficult meeting people moving to London than actually when I was in a village and I found that kind of finding community was super super difficult. So that for me kind of I thought, you know, this is really odd. Like I don’t understand why London is so big, but it can be so isolating. And that’s where, you know, I just I went out of my way and I was like, okay, I need to go and find people because people aren’t going to come to me. And I guess the the community that I found was through exercise. Like I found that, you know, I’d go to a run club or I would go to a gym class or I would do some form of exercise with a group of people and I would leave with with a bunch of friends, you know. So to me that kind of sparked something in me where I thought this is this is great. You leave, you know, a run club or something and you think this is amazing like so many like-minded people and you feel great. And I thought I need to do something, you know, for myself to kind of reach the masses in London because I think there’s a lot of people who are struggling and they don’t really know what where to meet people. They don’t really know what sort of outlet to actually find like-minded people. Um, and that kind of I guess is reflected in my social media where you know I just want to meet people and I guess that’s the sort of content that I show. I think it’s probably been covered a couple of times on the podcast recently and I think it’s probably it’s probably because a lot of people are feeling this, right? But we’ve talked about kind of the loneliness epidemic a little bit and I think it’s so strange in in the way that we’re so connected as a society and you would have seen that like firsthand with kind of what you do in the creation space, right? We are so connected to so many people on a day-to-day basis, yet it’s kind of strange that so many people are genuinely so lonely. And it’s kind of a it’s a double negative, isn’t it? But it’s actually happening. Yeah, for sure. And I I think kind of co is is definitely kind of one of the factors where I think we people became super comfortable, you know, on their own. And you know, me included, I I’d say I’m definitely an introvert and I’ve become more of an extroverted introvert. But naturally, I I really like my own space. And I think COVID for me kind of made me really kind of go into my shell a little bit. And I thought, oh, actually, like I’m so comfortable, you know, on my own, that I think it can be easy, especially if you’re working from home to actually, you know, there’s no reason to go outside. There’s no reason to meet people and you kind of start to build up a bit of anxiety around actually going out and meeting people. um you know, fear of judgment and and stuff like that. So that’s where putting yourself out there is really difficult and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, but like you just feel amazing after it. And that’s what a lot of my content’s been about is about, you know, having, you know, um elements of social anxiety and going, okay, like I want to overcome this. I want to go and meet some some new people and I know I feel great for it afterwards. Um yeah. Do you ever feel yourself sliding back into it? sliding back into like and you know what I’ll just push this tomorrow or to next week or I don’t need to do that tonight. Do you ever find yourself? Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And I find that I can get socially burnt out quite easily because I guess in the creator space, you know, always wanting to be putting content out there, I find that I can take on a lot and I know when I’m socially burnt out, like I can feel it coming and that’s when I can, you know, kind of start to resent um, you know, doing group stuff because I think I just I’m really not feeling feeling it. And I guess kind of recognizing when that’s starting to come is is something that’s been big for me where I’m like, “Okay, I’m starting to burn out now. I need to start to kind of bring it back because you can go both ways with it. You know, you can become, you know, in your shell and not see anyone or you can kind of go the other way and just get completely burnt out from it, especially if you’re introverted.” Um, I don’t know how how you’ve experienced that. Yeah, man. It’s it’s it’s so interesting, isn’t it? And I think like you say, I I’ve never really thought about the co angle to this that often or that much because I think I’ve always thought of it as the kind of connectivity element of like the culture we live in right now. Like we’re all on our phones all the time, right? But I think I think that was kind of something that was skyrocketed through co when you actually think about it as well because we didn’t really have any other way to connect. So, we were using, you know, how many people were hopping on Zoom and doing quizzes? How many people were, you know, facetiming more often than not like and that kind of has just continued like the working from home, like the not seeing people on a day-to-day basis. So, yeah, that that that period of time, it’s very strange to think about now, isn’t it? cuz it was it was such a feels so long ago but al also feels so recent and we’re still just kind of getting through it. I think I often wonder like where would we be if that period hadn’t have happened. I know. Yeah. It’s it’s really interesting and I think like I take a lot of positives out of that kind of period of time because for me that’s really kind of where social media started to become more a thing for me. Um, and kind of having that time to reflect and go, you know, is this the direction I want my life to go in? You know, having, I guess, being cramped up in the house and actually wanting to go out and exercise. I think a lot of people found exercise through that where before I guess if you have negative um, experiences at school, a lot of people, especially women, struggle at school with their relationship with sport and exercise because, you know, it’s forced upon you. you kind of it’s not something you want to do and and then when you start to resent it, you almost don’t see yourself as you don’t label yourself as someone who would exercise. So I feel like co there actually really was was amazing for a lot of people where they thought right I just need to get out the house whether that’s a walk, whether that’s a run. I I got into running through co I know a lot of people who did. So I guess that’s there’s definitely positives to take out of it for sure. Do you miss do you miss that small town feel? Like I I’m somebody that probably has the same story as you to be honest. Like yeah, I I’m from a very small town in in South Wales and then went to uni in Nottingham and I’ve never done the London thing full-time, but I’ve been in other big cities and you always kind of get drawn back to the countryside. Do you ever do you have find yourself having those feelings of, oh, I could just go back? Yeah, definitely. I think like I’m lucky that family is still there, so I still have kind of a base to go back to. And I found that I’m kind of slowly working my way back out of London. Like I guess post uni, I found all my friends were moving to London for work. And being someone who’s who’s self-employed, who does content, I kind of I felt a little bit lost and I thought, right, I’m just going to follow everyone else. So that kind of brought me to London. Um, and then I’m kind of working my way into the more suburban areas of London because although I do love kind of the drive it gives me, the people that you meet can be super overwhelming, especially for someone who’s grown up in a village. I’m sure you find that when you spend long periods in London, it it can be a lot. Um, so I like to kind of try and have a balance between the two and try and take the positives out of both. How have you kind of found that? It always makes me laugh because it’s like, you know, you see everything on social like memes and and like Tik Toks and stuff of people from the countryside smiling at people on the tube and them not smiling back or whatever and you’re like, that’s actually a thing. That’s actually dead true. I’m walking around being like, “Thanks, mate. How are you? You all right?” And everyone’s like, “Look, I’ve got a lot of stress on right now.” And it’s it’s so true. But then I think it’s that it’s that relating it back to everybody everybody having their own thing at that time, right? It’s like London is an amazing place, but it is a place that hell of a lot goes on and everybody has their own story on a day-to-day basis. Whatever they’re doing, whatever um whatever their work uh their career is, their job is going on that day. It’s just it’s just this kind of uh honeypot of everything, isn’t it? I think sometimes it gets a little bit of a bad rap because there are such incredible elements of it as well, like you say, the the community, the the sport, the the ability to have very like-minded individuals together. And I’m sure that’s something you found, right? You just mentioned it there when you were talking about like it kind of gives you inspiration being in a place like that. Yeah, definitely. And I heard a really interesting thing the other day actually and um this person was kind of saying, you know, people in London aren’t rude, we’re just busy. And I think that that really resonated with me where actually it can be easy if you’re new to London to think, oh, everyone’s very rude. No one kind of has time. And the the thing is people are busy with with work, with what they’re doing, but actually when you get to talk to people and you actually have interactions with people, you realize that nine times out of 10, everyone’s super friendly and everyone is on the same wavelength as you. It’s actually facilitating those kind of conversations and connections that I find is really difficult and people find difficult because you know the drive to constantly achieve and and do more and and kind of you know get to the top of some sort of ladder which doesn’t really exist. It kind of people find that they don’t have time for interactions or or other people. So that’s what I found personally. It’s funny that ladder as well because when you get to the top of the ladder, this metaphorical ladder that you’ve built in your head, you look up and there’s another ladder and then you get to the top of that one, you look up and there’s another one. And I think I think that’s sometimes that we a lot of us forget about that um because we put pressure to get to that point whether it be in our careers or financially or you know in our family lives or our friendships. I think it’s a very powerful thing to kind of realize that life is one one long journey and it’s not like getting to a point because it’s very cliche to say that the journey is better than the destination but in a lot of ways it isn’t it like to get to that point or to get to that thing is better than being at that thing 100% and that’s what you’ve got to enjoy the journey and as you said it sounds cliche but I think you’ve got to experience it for yourself you know it’s very easy to say, you know, money is not going to make you happy or, you know, when you get that job you’ve been dreaming of, it’s not going to make you as happy as you think. But you’ve actually got to experience it and go, okay, like now I understand that. And being a bit more present with it is something I’ve been really really working on. Because I think it can be easy, especially in the content space, to kind of constantly be searching for viral videos or constantly be searching to kind of do better than someone else. And actually when you start to do that, you kind of start taking away from why you started it in the first place. Um, yeah, it’s I could go into that for so long. I’ve got What do you find about being like in life? And let me explain what I mean by that because you know, you’re incredibly busy, whether it be in your business life or your work life and being a creator and doing the things that you do. A lot of the stuff that you do do is put online, but how do you find it in those moments where you are actually just in life? Can you ever take a step back and and like forget about the rest of it? Like we were just talking before, we’ve both just been on holiday. You were away for for a week. Can you can you take a step back and and just be Jacob in those moments? Before if you asked me that maybe a year ago, I would have said no. I I really struggled kind of separating my identity from the content creator and myself and there was there was no real difference. And I actually um I was speaking to a therapist about this and she said, you know, you really got to separate your identity from your online presence and actually who you are. Like you’ve got to try and start to work out who you are as a person. And since I’ve kind of been on that journey, I found that I am able to to kind of take a step back a little bit better. Like I’m still not there, but I can kind of switch off a lot better. I can, you know, I have an identity beyond who I am online. And I think that took me a little bit of time to realize that that’s really important to have because you know if your identity is tied into your online presence then when things don’t start to go your way or you know inevitably something happens then who are you you know so I I think that’s been a growth for me massively. That journey with with you know speaking to somebody and speaking to a therapist is that has that always been something that you’ve done? Is that is that a new thing? like how how how did you find like going to do it and was there any stigma for you surrounding it? Yeah, so I’ve seen therapists on and off since I was about 18 and for mental health is something that I’ve always been really passionate speaking about. It’s something that I’ve really struggled with anxiety for a long long time and I think you know work is being done to kind of remove the stigma around it and I’m trying to do as much as I can but I still think there is obviously still some stigma especially around therapy as well where I don’t know people don’t necessarily respect it or kind of understand why you would do it still I think for me it’s it’s it’s been massive and I think it’s been a really important kind of thing for me personally as I said you know figuring out my identity figuring out you know where where I want to be in the world and kind of understanding decisions that I make especially with social media where like there’s a lot of judgment there’s a lot of judgment on me for things that I’m doing um and trying to kind of deal with that is something that’s taken a huge amount of work to be honest um to take that on yeah judgment is such a buzz word, isn’t it? Like cuz to feel judged is something that nobody wants to feel. Nobody ever wants to like experience being judged. Even though like if you look at it on the surface level, it doesn’t I guess actually mean being judged for good or being judged for bad. For some reason, we have that negative connotation of just saying being judged is 100% inherently a negative thing where it doesn’t it doesn’t it doesn’t always have to be, but it’s it’s the same thing as, you know, if you get 100 comments on a post and 99 of them are negative and the one is or 99 of them are positive and the one is negative, 100% you’re focusing on the negative. And that is such a difficult mindset to get out of, isn’t it? Yeah. And I think it I I it’s really difficult for for young people these days especially I mean I didn’t you know 100% grow up with social media I guess you know Instagram started becoming a thing when I was you know 14 15 so to some extent yes but you know for for people going through it now I really do feel for them because you know it’s there’s so much judgment online and it’s really difficult for people because you know you’ve feel personally attacked when someone is saying something negative about you and it can be really easy to experience that. So I think for me what I’ve learned is that if someone’s not saying it to me in person, then I’m not taking that on board. If someone’s not close to me, someone that you know is part of my family or someone that I love, again, I’m not taking that on board because they’re not someone whose opinion really does matter to me. And again, that’s taken a lot of time where I can I can now see a negative comment and go, okay, like I know where that’s coming from for that person. I know they kind of feel like they’re behind a screen and that it’s, you know, it’s not actually affecting me. So, it’s a lot easier to process now. Whereas before I’d see a negative comment, I’d go, “Oh my god, I just some did people really think that about me?” We we get all of this stuff so directly to us, like whether it’s negative or positive. And I often think back to my grandparents and it’s like if somebody said something nasty about my granddad, he might have heard it, you know, two weeks later down the pub and it’s probably been changed 15 times in that kind of little village mentality where somebody said to somebody else who’s sold a bail of hay to somebody else who’s then, you know, taken it to somebody else’s horse and then they’ve said something and it’s like it’s it’s just so different now and we’re living in this world that’s so new. Again, we’ve we’ve mentioned it recently on the podcast. it it’s so so new everything that we’re experiencing and it it almost feels like when you talk about people getting brought up with it now there needs to be some sort of education around this doesn’t there like we we need to have something in place that people get taught like how do you deal with this sort of thing yeah and I I think it’s really difficult especially around the creator space where a lot of people don’t see creators as human beings you know they’ll they’ll make a comment about someone and they’ll, you know, they’ll go either they’re not going to see it or this person isn’t going to take it on board. And actually, I guess being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is something that when you’re younger, I found really difficult. you know, I couldn’t always sympathize with with people, but I I think, you know, you need some education around kind of the implications of of what you say because you kind of get that education at school, right, where if you say something in person to someone, obviously there’s repercussions, but when you say something to someone online, there isn’t that same sort of education, I don’t think, in my opinion. So, a lot of people don’t really realize the impact that their words online can have on people. Um, and that’s something that that needs a lot of work on for sure. Talk to me about um, Better. Where did where did that begin? Better and uh, and Better Connections. Like, talk to me about the whole kind of the the full circle story of both of those accounts. Yeah. So, I mean, I kind of started the Better Brand. I thought it it worked quite nicely because for me, I don’t strive for perfection. It’s always just about being a little bit better every day. And what I’ve realized over time is that my better looks very different to someone else’s better. And I first kind of started the brand with the online coaching side of things. So um I run an online coaching business and work with people to kind of find what their better looks like because as I said that looks different for everyone. And I think social media does make it really difficult because as soon as you open the app, you see someone doing better than you or you see someone who’s a faster runner than you or you see someone who’s in better shape or who’s more intelligent or who’s doing better online. And realizing that, you know, as I said, everyone’s better looks different. And it’s trying to find that balance is is something that I really work on with the coaching. So that’s that’s kind of one portion of of what I do. And I really love kind of working with people to, you know, improve their habits to to improve their life really. And um build sustainable change and then better connections kind of came off the back of that where as I said you know since moving to London found it really difficult meeting people especially being self-employed and I kind of started it in a selfish way where I just wanted to meet people you know and I was like I was like how can I do that? Let’s just start some sort of community where I can actually meet people. So, I started it for myself really because I was like, I want to meet people. I want to meet like-minded people. I’m kind of tired of, you know, being in my shell a little bit. And that’s where I thought, okay, like I’ve seen run clubs. I’ve seen, you know, um, all these other sort of clubs. And I I’ve been to a few before and I don’t want to name any particular names, but I found a few that I’ve been to quite clicky and that, um, you know, it was about how fast you run or the gear that you wear. And I thought, you know, that’s not what running’s about. That’s not what exercise is about. It’s about, you know, forming connections and and meeting new people and having fun with it and and not worrying about, you know, setting a 5K PB every single time. There’s a there’s a place for that, but not kind of having that as the be all and end all. So, I I went, okay, if I’m going to start a run club, I’m gonna set one up that is just about making connections and meeting people, not not about how fast you run. So then I just started it, you know, and I find the hardest part is is always starting it because you want it to be perfect, you know. Um, and I’ve just learned in life if I’m if I’m going to say that I want to do something, I’m just going to do it. And it’s not going to be perfect and it’s not going to look as I envision it, but I’ve just got to start it. And I’m sure it’s the same with the podcast, right? You know, when you you learn so much along the way and you’ll look back at your first episode and you go, “Okay, I’ve done this wrong. I’ve done that wrong.” But that’s part of learning and that’s life, you know. And I think like picking up picking up anything new, right? you have that feeling and it’s it’s quite relatable to me like saying starting things for a selfish reason like and I I I’ve said this many times before like but for me is this is such a selfish endeavor realistically because even though I get to share people’s stories and you know hopefully each guest takes something from from the podcast but when would I ever get to sit down for 45 minutes to an hour with you it just it wouldn’t happen and that’s the case with every other person that’s been on the podcast. Like, yes, maybe we cross paths in everyday life, but yeah, to actually just sit there with no distractions and have a conversation, you take so much from so many people, little nuggets of information that you can then apply to your everyday life. That’s exactly the same with with what you’re doing with Better Connections as well because I remember seeing one of your reels that you posted when you were walking to whether it was your first run club or one of the first ones and like we’ve already talked about that social anxiety a little bit but you could see like you could see you were visibly nervous about doing it like oh my god nobody’s going to turn up and then when you got there you got that feeling of connection that you know you hoped this was going to bring not only for But now there’s that feeling of connection for all of those other people that are there and that must feel very special for you. Yeah. I mean genuinely didn’t think anyone would turn up and I hadn’t I hadn’t Yeah. And I hadn’t planned it very well and I I didn’t have any kind of place, you know, like Straa or something where people could say, “Okay, I’m going.” You know, I I literally just put it in a group chat that I made and hoped people would turn up. And I think for me like I’ve grown so much from that because you know no one people couldn’t there could have been people that didn’t turn up and you know it could have been super awkward but doing it I just feel so amazing that that I actually did it and I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and for me I need kind of positive reinforcement where a situation happens and it goes well and then from there like the world’s my oyster you know now I feel like I can do anything because I started a run club and people actually turned up and now it’s turned into a thing, you know, and I never thought that would happen. So, I guess for me that that reinforces the fact that if I ever want to do something, I’ve just got to start it and the the rest will work itself out. It’s as well because there’s personal experience of it, right? Because you do have that personal experience of feeling a little bit um of social anxiety and feeling like going and doing that thing is a bit of a struggle. you understand what everybody else is feeling like getting to that point as well. And I think that is so important when it comes to community, particularly when um you’re kind of involved in the sporting space because everybody has their own little anxieties about, you know, I wish I was faster or I wish I could do that better or I wish I could lift more or I wish I could. But we as people that do sport and love sport, we understand that. And I think yeah, that is so important to have that part of kind of your personality as well because it it helps everybody else understand that you’ve been in that spot. Yeah, definitely. And I think to me like I was just making those sort of videos because that was just what was happening in my life. And you know, I wanted to kind of to show my experiences. And I’ve had so many people who come up to me and go, you know, well done for starting that. Like I’ve seen how much you’ve grown as a person. Or people who have shown up to the run club and they they they will come up to me and they say, I was genuinely terrified about turning up. Like I I’ve never done this sort of thing before, but I saw your video and you know it it made me kind of want to push myself out my comfort zone. And that to me like that means more than absolutely anything where someone’s like, you know, I I turned up because you kind of showed vulnerability and I related to that and I wanted to to practice it myself. So I think that’s the the the most amazing thing that I’ve got from starting it is helping people just become more confident. you mentioned um kind of like that dehumanization of of creators a little bit ago and like it made me think about how that made you feel like when you when you do have people coming up to you and and saying like look thank you for sharing those messages or thank you for making that real or thank you for creating this this thing and this club and there is emotion there and then they see emotion from you. You know, a lot of the time that’s gonna shock people and be like, “Oh my god, he’s not just a a plastic doll.” Like that must feel kind of odd like to to get that interaction massively. And I think because before a lot of my content was just focused around, you know, going to the gym and building muscle and trying to look look a certain way and and that is why it was even more surprising to me because I just kind of thought people followed me because, you know, I I was able to to build muscle and, you know, people thought I looked good. And actually the fact that I kind of it’s gone the other way now and people are kind of seeing that other side to me has I was starting to get burnt out from content to be totally honest before I did this I was starting to kind of resent it and go I can’t do this anymore and then when I started posting the videos actually now because it’s my authent my authentic self like I I’m just showing who I am and if people like it they like it if they don’t they don’t. So to me, just the fact that, you know, no one’s ever come up to me and said anything negative from any of these videos. So the fact that everything’s very positive in person, like I know that I’m doing something right. Um, and that makes me want to, you know, continue doing this for as long as I can. hard thing to think about, but mentioning, you know, getting burnt out from content and then kind of leaning more towards the authenticity element of things and I think authenticity always wins. Um, would you go back and tell Jacob before, you know, when you were in the gym where you were, you know, on that sort of trajectory when it came to your content a little bit more, would you say, “Mate, just just be you.” Would you do that or would you just carry on doing what you were doing to get to the point you’re at now? I don’t know. I I think everyone kind of has in order to change there needs to be something in your life to really go okay like something needs to change now. And for me it was the fact that I was getting completely burnt out from it and just thinking like I can’t have everything being about my appearance anymore because it was just really exhausting me and I was trying to kind of keep up that image that wasn’t me. So I think I wouldn’t have said anything to be honest because it was part of my journey. It’s kind of made me who I am. And I think as I said like that change has to come from yourself. I think there’s going to people have pivotal kind of points in their life um in order for them to to go in a different direction. And for me that was that pivotal change that I was like okay like something’s something’s got to change here because otherwise like this is it for me. Um, so I think everything kind of worked out nicely in the end. We mentioned your holiday earlier on and we were chatting a little bit about it before I hit record. And um, you know, I’m sure you’ve always been the guy that’s that’s worked out on holiday, but you were not the guy before this year that got up at 7 a.m. and went for a run on holiday. When when you’re out there and you’re doing that, are you are you thinking to yourself like, man, this is crazy. Look who I’ve become. Like what are you thinking in those in those moments? You said to me, I’m not a person that gets up early. Yeah, I I think I I’ve changed a lot and I’m 25 now, nearly 26, and I found navigating my 20ies to be super difficult. And I’ I’ve changed so much as a person, you know, year on year, I feel like I’m really changing. It’s like I keep saying to all my friends that since uh my frontal loes developed, I just think so differently. And I don’t know if you’ve experienced that, but I really do feel like I Yeah, I really feel like I do think so differently. And I look back at myself and I go, “What was I doing?” But at the same time, like, yeah, things have changed a lot. And as you said, you know, going on holiday and and getting up super early and working out was never me. Like I I’d go to the gym in the evening, you know, lift some weights, not be particularly functional with it. It was all about appearance. Whereas now, like I I look forward to getting up and and going for a run because like the endorphins after, I know I feel great. I know I feel accomplished and it’s just part of my routine now. So, I guess I’m starting to realize that we we put kind of um I don’t know, we put ourselves in boxes, right? And we go, you know, I am this sort of person. I am a morning person. You know, I am someone that goes to the gym. I’m not a runner. It’s really easy to put yourself in a box. And I think as we grow up, people put us in certain boxes as well, and we just accept it. You know, you hear something at school or a friend says something and you go, “Okay, that’s me.” Like, that’s who I am. And then you start to get a bit old and you think you start to unlock that box and you go actually I feel like I can get into a different box. You know, I don’t know if you found that in life, but I feel like you can. You’re not you don’t need to be put in a box. 100%. And it it’s it’s so funny when you know, you think back to to school and think back to when you were a kid and talking about like developing as you get a little bit older, you know, when you’re a kid and and everybody listening will have experienced this as well. someone older than you will would have said, “Oh, you know, you’re you’re still super young. Like, you’ve got plenty to learn.” And you’re like, “No, I haven’t. Like, I know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t be so dafted.” And then you get to that age and you’re like, “Oh my god, I knew nothing.” And then like you’re 21 and you’re, you know, moving to London or you’re doing whatever. You’re graduating and doing your thing and now you’re nearly 26 and you’ll be looking back at 21 Jacob like that guy knows nothing. And I think the best thing is I think that continues, right? So now but but now as as we are a little bit older like you can kind of realize that is going to be the case. Like you can look at your parents and think, “Oh my god, they’ve had so much more life experience than me.” So maybe if they do say something, maybe I should take it on board. Yeah, that’s so true. And I think like I I love as I start to I’m obviously not old but as I start to get older, right? Like I you get you get wiser and you know you start to be able to use perspective and I just find it so interesting kind of looking back on myself and you know why I made certain decisions and and why certain aspects of my life ended up like they did. So it it’s really interesting and I think as long as you know as you get older you start to kind of you you learn you don’t make the same mistakes twice and and you understand kind of the person gradually who you want to be and you kind of act on that it it life becomes more exciting I think because I feel like I’ve got more control over over what’s happening. I’ve certainly I’ve certainly made the same mistake twice, maybe three or four times, but I’ll I’ll learn at some point. Talk to me about um talk to me about Sophie because I I want you to tell the story really. Where did where did this all start? Yeah. So for me, as I said, a lot of my content revolves around interactions with people and I was kind of I was on a run one day and I was just thinking back to to when I started running and I’ve started running around Baty Park these days and you see all sorts of abilities of runners and you know I’ll run past a couple of people who are you know doing walk to run intervals or just really getting into it and kind of putting myself in their shoes and thinking you know I I was there once and and how kind of nerve-wracking I found it getting into a new form of exercise. So that kind of made me think, well, you know, I’ve gone through it. I I feel like I can help someone else. And something that I found really difficult was just committing to my first event, right? Is is just being like, okay, like I’m going to test myself. I’m going to push my limits and I’m going to try something new. And that’s where I thought, okay, well, maybe I can help someone run their first 5K. So, yeah, decided, we obviously had some communications and I did an event with you guys before. Uh, I really enjoyed that and I love kind of um the yeah, just the way that you guys you do things to be totally honest. So, I was like, okay, you know, run through the people to do it with. Obviously had some communication with you, Ben, and you know, it seemed like a nice guy. you are a nice guy, which is great. Um, and I thought, okay, let me put something out to my followers. Let me find someone who hasn’t done a 5K before and really help them in the process of doing something for the first time and just being nervous with someone, you know, being kind of absorbing the nervous energy and helping them do something. So, yeah, I mean, I put up a a story and said, you know, looking for someone to run their first 5K with me. Actually, we put up a post, didn’t we? Yeah. Um, yeah, put up a a post. We did a collab post where I just put people uh asked people to comment, you know, if they wanted to run their first 5K with me. And Sophie was actually the first person to to comment. So, I dropped her a message and I went, you know, I know this is really nerve-wracking, but do you fancy running your first 5K with me? And she was she was fully on board. She was like, “Yeah, let’s do it. Whatever we need to do to make it happen.” And I was like, “I love this energy.” like she was so so keen for it. So yeah, uh obviously we kind of coordinated the event we were going to do and I wanted to kind of capture, you know, meeting her for the first time and then obviously kind of walking over to the event and I think the fact that she was doing a 5K for the first time, but also she was meeting someone new for the first time obviously makes it even more nerve-wracking, right? Um so yeah, kind of met for the first time. She was so lovely. Um, obviously she was super nervous and I think we captured that in the content. But, um, ended up smashing it. She did so well. Um, and I think like the message that I was trying to show from this was that when you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you just grow so much. And, you know, she was super nervous before. It wasn’t something she would have done before. She said to me, she said, “If it wasn’t if it wasn’t for kind of um this 5K you coordinated, I don’t think I would have done it for a while.” So, the fact that like I’ve encouraged her to actually go out and and do it to me meant everything because now she’s going to be able to take she’s she’s doing the T100 um London T100. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So, and that was the one thing that was missing was the running because she was just nervous about doing it on her own. So, the fact that she pushed herself out of the comfort zone, she’s done that. She’s doing the T100 and then we’ve got the 10K coming up as well where she said to me halfway through the 5K and she went, there’s no way I’d ever be able to do a 10K. Like, and we finished the 5K. She’s like, I’d never be able to do this twice. And now we’ve got it set up. So, I think that’s really exciting. And it was a really special day for both of us. I think it’s it’s it’s that it’s that sharing of the connection as well, isn’t it? you know, I think it’s a theme that’s gone right through this podcast, but it’s it was something that I loved helping to put together as well because, you know, again, you seemed like a really nice bloke, which is lovely and really nice bloke. So, it’s it’s that part of it, but it’s also the the the notion that you’re so excited and there’s a want there to kind of establish connection. This isn’t just like a short-term like gratification. This is going to do well on Instagram. This is like a really lovely moment. And I think you really captured that on the day as well. And for for somebody like Sophie cuz the you know what it’s like and I’m I’m sure you’ve done it. I’ve done it as well where you see something online and you like jump at it and you think, “Oh yeah, I’ll do that.” And then it actually happens. You’re like, “Oh no god.” Like I why why have I why have I done that? Like and that can be with anything. And that can be with something like this or it could be like buying something or it’s that instant gratification of like I’m going to say I’m going to do this thing or I’m going to buy this thing but then actually when it happens you’re like oh my god why the hell have I done that and I’m sure she had that little moment but for her to finish that was unbelievable and like you say we’ve set up the 10k as well so I can’t wait I can’t wait for that one but you know that feeling for you at the finish line must have been super special as well. Yeah, for sure. Because again, I was nervous before I did it. And that’s the thing that I really want to resonate is that I do I do these things all the time. I meet new people all the time and every single time I’m still nervous before. And that’s what I just really want to highlight. You know, again, it does get easier, but you still will feel nervous and it’s that kind of initial nervousness that you kind of you need to get over first. And yeah, like finishing it just felt amazing, you know, because as I said, the fact that it wasn’t something she’d considered doing or that she kind of thought she’d be able to do and then being able to help her through that and kind of pass on my knowledge that I’ve built up from from doing it over the years just felt super special. And as you said, like none of this has ever been from an instant gratification standpoint where yeah, maybe a video will do well on Instagram and that’s that’s a bonus because obviously, you know, that’s my job, but at the end of the day, I found that when I focus on just doing good things for people and just helping people like I would like to be helped, things come back to you. So that’s kind of the way that I’ve always looked at it. not from kind of a selfish standpoint, but actually, you know, I want to help people and in return, people end up helping me as well. So, it’s just kind of like a a win-win in that sense. Good people doing good things, man. And I know people kind of poo poo it, but putting out good energy into the world often does work whether whether you believe in that sort of thing or not. Um, her, you know, Sophie’s scary moment right now is is doing doing a 5k race or was doing a 5k race. Not anymore. She’s done it. She’s lined up for a T100 and she’s lined up for for a 10K as well, but we all have those kind of things that we’re looking to and those scary moments. Have you got anything at the moment that’s like super scary in your in your life? Yeah. So, I am doing the London Marathon in that is something that I’m very scared about. I did a half marathon with you guys and um yeah, I mean that in itself was was brutal and I got to the end of it and I thought there’s no way I could do that twice. Like there’s absolutely no way. Um so yeah, for me that’s super scary because I’ve never run further than a half. Um and I know it’s going to hurt. I know it’s going to suck. And um I’m actually working with a a great charity um for that called Family Holiday. Um, and essentially they kind of help families who aren’t able to afford to go on holiday to to kind of facilitate trips where they focus on on exercise and movement and just kind of being able to to get away. So, for me, that really resonated and and that’s why I decided to do it. I was like, I’ll do the London Marathon once. Um, and yeah, that kind of came up. You won’t do it. No, I feel like multiple times. I feel like Have you done it before? Yeah, I’ve done it a couple of times. I was just glancing up then at the at the uh at the date 28th of July as we’re talking and I’m thinking to myself that’s a long way to be looking forward to London. But it’s like I guess you know people that have got the balloted places have got the balloted places now and people that have got charity places have got charity places and you know it’s an I I always say to people it’s it’s everything you’ve heard and probably 10 times more because really it is something really difficult to exper to explain if you haven’t experienced it and I I did it I haven’t done it for a few years and like I think the last two three years has been like an exponential explosion of everything that made London brilliant as well. So, it’s like I think we’re in a different phase of of what London is. And I think um yeah, I I feel very excited for anybody that is going to go and go and do it. The only thing that I always say is like just enjoy it. Like just try and enjoy it because the first time I did it, I hated it. And I think that was just because I was putting too much pressure on myself. And I think that goes back to a lot of the things we’ve talked about in this conversation, right? It’s like the the kind of giving yourself the space to do the thing. Like take that step to do it, but maybe when you’re actually doing it, don’t put too much pressure on it because Yeah. that then almost makes it well, it’s just a more pressurized environment and it’s likely you’re not going to enjoy it as much as if you just Yeah. kind of let yourself breathe. Yeah, that’s that’s so true. And I think for me, like I’m not going into it with a certain time in mind. And I think my first time doing anything, like the goal is just to to complete it, right? And I think I I know that I’m going to like I’d like to meet some new people doing it. So, I’m going to have the camera out and I’m going to be talking to people and I’m excited for that cuz when I did the half with you guys, like that that went by so quickly because there’s so many pictures of me going around just talking to people. um you know in those pictures that you sent through and all of them are just me talking to someone new like I feel like people must be like what is he doing but no I have met some lovely people and I’d love to do that um at the marathon as well and again just taking taking it all in and just you know doing something new for the first time it’s going to suck to some extent but also just trying to take in the atmosphere and just really enjoy it. So, I know it’s yeah, it’s a bit time away, but that’s the one thing that I’m like, okay, little bit scared about, you know, mate, I I could I could carry on this conversation for probably another two, three hours. I’ve absolutely left it. Um, but I want to finish with this because, you know, we’ve mentioned that period of your life where you were feeling a little bit burnt out when it came to content and you kind of changed the way you you looked at it and and perceived it and and thought about it. Where is your head at now? And how do you look forward from here from a point where, you know, you thought that you might not be doing this for much longer because you you nearly burn yourself out? Yeah. I just think I’m taking things day by day and I’m just so grateful to kind of have figured myself out and to figure out kind of what really is my purpose in in the world at this present time. Um, and I think it’s difficult because, you know, with the world of content and social media, you have no idea where it’s going to go. And as someone, you know, it’s my primary income. Again, it is something that I do think about a lot, but I’m just trying to take things day by day and just really enjoy being in the process of becoming. I heard someone say that and that really resonated with me. Um, yeah, just enjoy being in the process of becoming and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do right now. I’m enjoying all the ventures that I’m doing and it’s really kind of given me a lot of purpose. So, as long as that’s the case, I’ll be continuing to make content and hopefully, you know, some more opportunities to to help people continue to kind of present themselves and um yeah, just in quite a nice space at the moment.
In this episode of RunThrough presents Gone Running, host Ben Sheppard is joined by Jacob Ward, creator of the ‘Better’ brand—a platform dedicated to mental health, personal growth, and building real community through fitness.
Jacob reflects on how the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic reshaped his sense of connection and identity. He shares how therapy has helped him navigate social anxiety, stay grounded amid the noise of online life, and stay true to himself. From supporting Sophie through her first 5K to chasing his own goal of running the London Marathon, Jacob speaks openly about the emotional rewards of showing up for others.
This episode explores how movement can be a gateway to connection, how growth happens in the messy middle, not just at the finish line and why vulnerability and authenticity matter more than ever.
Hear how,
💬 Therapy gave Jacob the tools to separate self from personal
🏃♀️ Supporting others brought unexpected meaning to his journey
🌍 COVID-19 magnified loneliness despite constant digital connection
🌱 Progress comes from embracing the process
🤝 Real growth happens through community and showing up
Hit play to dive into an honest, relatable chat that will leave you thinking about how you connect with yourself and the people around you.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Background
03:08 The Importance of Community in Fitness
05:59 Navigating Loneliness in a Connected World
09:09 Balancing City Life and Rural Roots
11:54 The Journey of Self-Discovery
14:56 Mental Health and Therapy
18:02 Dealing with Judgment and Online Presence
20:59 Building Better Connections and Community
23:55 The Motivation Behind Better and Better Connections
25:03 Overcoming Social Anxiety Through Community Engagement
31:25 The Journey of Authenticity and Personal Growth
35:19 Connecting Through Shared Experiences
42:13 Facing Fears and Embracing New Challenges
Join our community and share your running adventures 👇
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RunThroughUK
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RunThroughUK
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RunThroughUK
RunThrough LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/runthroughuk
A special thanks to our amazing partners:
Brooks
Nuun Hydration UK
SportsShoes
Runner Retreats
Love Corn
New Levels Coaching
givestar
BOSE
TREK
SiS
Voltarol
____________
📩 Love the content? Give it a 👍 and subscribe for more!
#running #run #runner