Handling Aggressive Behavior in Children with Autism
Dr. Mary Barbera talks about how to deal with aggression and autism. Handling aggressive behavior in children with autism can be complex but doesn’t have to be impossible.
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Aggression in early childhood isn’t uncommon in children with autism. In fact, mental health and aggression can be closely related especially in young children with autism when demands are too high, and reinforcement is too low. Because of this, in today’s video I’m giving some reducing aggression strategies and tips on how to reduce aggression in children with autism. I’m also going to share a couple of stories of how problematic this problem behavior can become, and what steps to take for managing aggressive behavior.
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🧩 About Mary Barbera 👩⚕️
I’m Dr. Mary Barbera and I have been helping parents and professionals for more than two decades ago when my first-born son, Lucas, was diagnosed with a speech delay at 2 and then with autism at age 3. Since then, I became a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Host of the Turn Autism Around podcast (with more than 1.7 million downloads), and best-selling author of two books (including my newest book Turn Autism Around: An Action Guide for Parents of Young Children with Early Signs of Autism).
In addition to free content, I post daily across YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. I also offer online courses for parents and professionals. Behavior Analyst BACB CEUs and Early Intervention contact hours are also included for professionals.
Whether you have a toddler with speech delays and/or excessive tantrums or you’re a parent or professional helping early intervention clients, I encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel and join me for videos almost every day that will help you increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve eating, sleeping, and potty training!
26 Comments
I am working in an autism centre where my one client age 7 years , she has eating problem and the. She throws , she is mute , when I force her to eat food she also throws it and when she is frustrated, so I don't get the point what should I do to stop her his behaviour she likes it when I say her go and pick it up so what should I do to stop it , and her parents also said she hit her little brother when we r not around or we don't pay attention 😢😢😢😢 plz help
What do you do when the aggression is learned behavior from the aggressive parents? The parents are not physically abusive, but the main parent (mother) has a disgnosed learning disability (fetal alcohol syndrome, adult now, 27 with 3 small kids under 6 and 1 more on the way), but was not a pproblem child, herself, was in a good home with proper parenting, but in teen years learned bad behavior/ways from her peers, and continues to learn those ways, from others – now screams, hollers at and somewhat ignores her children, doesn't provide proper discipline when needed. We don't have any issue from her towards us when we're talking to her and trying to help her, so we know she can do better, but the monent she is loosed with her kids, she just goes right back to the hollering, using nasty tones, being mean-spirited, spending time on facetime with her "friends" talking about drama and using foyl language in earshot of the children…. 😮💨 I'm just emotionally and physically spent, but I don't want her kids to be the ones to suffer bcuz she refuses to do better and I don't want them to be placed in someone else's home (not that the state would think it necessary to do so), where we don't know what's going on, but her middle child is the one diagnosed on the spectrum (4 y.o.), he's no longer in school/daycare bcuz of his behavioral problems, he acts out physically towards his older and younger brothers (6 & 1). We can get him together, but mom is inconsistent. I'm truly just exhausted.
Lets make it more easier more convenient. It is matter of proper understanding 😊 i have my cute and GOD gifted me ever best gift in my life my daughter. Her name is Eiliah. She is now 8. She has autism. It is really tough to deal with it there is no doubt. All credits goes to her mom.
Every human beings has error. We are no one is perfect. GOD has given us different qualities and weakness. That same mathod also applicable with Autistic babys. They are human beings and have eroors only the different is it is something that comes from GOD not by babys fault or nither parents fault.
Here is an small example Who is not have autism like me and you we are running our life very comfortably but suddenly one day some of us get to know they are attacked by cancer. So what we are basicaly do in this monent? Are we run away? Or are we hiding our self from the cancer??? Or we deal with it. The answere is we deal with it. So the same things applicable with autism. Even tough it is undoubtly hardship, difficulty, painful, we have only the way deal with it.
The most beautiful things in autism i have ever found that they are really innocent. This is the beauty of autism. They are totally out of sin. Whatever we have to deal with that's actually their error not their guilty.
I want to know if anyone can help me how i can be more functional while she get angry. Is there any policy or techniques can improve her to controls herself. Specially she do it when it is matter of study or she dont like to do some activities.
The only hope is inspiring me that autism babys are really very talented and extra ordinary. This is the reason they have problems dealing with stupid like us 😊
No pain no gain.inside Every pain have delicious fruits if we know how to be patience with it. Very tough but not impossible ❤
Hello,
My child is 6 years old. she was diagnosed with ASD 2 years ago.
She was non verbal.
She was a calm baby… never showed any sign of aggression.
Then she started talking 18 months ago little by little , at the same time gaining too much weight within shorter time.
Then lungs problem started.
she needed to be ventilated during sleep as the saturation level dropped to 85.
she did not accepted the ventilation very well.
That's why doctors prescribed an antipsychotic medicine.( ARIPIPRAZOLO)
After taking the medicine, within the 10 DAYS.
Lots of things changed, specially the aggressiveness, ( all the symptoms you prescribed in your video)
She started pushing away school peers, biting them, hit them.
eventually us as a parents,
refused to go out of the house!!!
When she's alone at home with me, always biting me or taking the hair. pushing me, hitting me.
I don't know how to control her.
Throw away things dear to us.
Her appetite level increased to a horrendous level.
And started getting very dirty!!!( playing with her own potty or pee).
we changed several medicines , nothing changed. Things got worse.
eventually we stopped all the medication.
Help me!!!!
Doctors are unable to find the solutions.
we are desperate!!!! 😢
Love your disclaimer, thanks 😊
Molim prijevod na hrvatskom jeziku
General education and special education are not sufficient in public schools…But I see how much preventation is key.
My child was taught to harm himself by public school staff unfortunately. It hapoens more than people think. He was the sweetheart of the group and tried to cheer other kids up and unfortunately was more easily bullied because of it.
They also of course learn from other kids. Kids that are agressive CAN absolutely have that from medical issues combined with lack of communication issues. But sometimes it's also a response to providers and/or parents abusing them.
It's unfortunate because these influences can last for years if not lifelong…if the right intervention isn't done consistently. If the wrong intervention happens it can increase odds that it's permanent.
Anyway this video is good advice for any child.
My 10 year old autistic brother started getting aggressive after teachers kept hitting him at school. And he became almost like an unpenitreble fortress, so i dont know how to deal with it.
I just started a job as a special ed sub para at the school districts in my area, I appreciate learning about this. Thank you very much for the information.
My 4 year old daughter is autistic. He started off nicest little girl but age 2-3 I can see my daughter behavior became aggressive. She fights with me she doesn’t like to take her medicine when she’s sick, even doctors office doesn’t let the doctor exam her, scratches me and my dad. Since been in school early intervention at first she was doing well but now lately she been scratching kids on and off. I live in Hawaii I’m single working parent not that much help out here. Now today she scratched one kid kinda badly and other kids so now she has to be in a classroom by herself until she learns how to gentle touching/play nicely with other kids I don’t blame them but I’m worried because when she gets older so please I need guidance or where to get help. I just hope her ABA therapy helps her and give up on my daughter and I
I agree where I work autistic kids slap people then they go to the autistic children and say its ok baby while the other child is crying.
I’m motherfucken autistic! And I’ve been having a lot of aggressive and impulsive behavior. Bad behavior is a bitch!!!!
my daughter hits her head and she is very aggressive dun know how to handle the situation 🥺
Great😮
Hi,
Do the techniques and strategies equally apply to children, especially older children, who also have comorbid intellectual disability?
I have a 2 year old daughter with Asd, & is delayed with language & is hardly verbal. if she's this violent now I can't imagine how this will improve, I've tried everything & I have a private agency coming into our home to help with aba therapy ect. I'm anemic so everytime she kicks me (she wears leg braces & heavy billy shoes for her flat feet) so I'm always being bruised up by my kid… bit, hit,smacked & loves to throw stuff at me & screams at the top of her lungs if I tell her no or change her diaper😢 I'm at my ropes end 💔
I also love how genetic testing doesn't show autism, this just floors me…. I never signed up for this b.s😢
I have a 6-year-old son with autism. He is very smart in learning and can play the piano by listening. But recently he has been very naughty, especially in school. He is very disobedient and always needs the attention of teachers and classmates. He can't sit still. Not that he can't he just doesn't want to. The daily schedule has not changed and nothing changed in school. Why is this sudden change in behaviour? Is this because of ADHD? He has not been diagnosed with it before. Thank you
Good afternoon, Dr. Barbeca, I would love to discuss being a guest on your podcast. As the mother of an extremely violent special needs child (FASD, attachment disorder, pschoses), I have become an advocate, an award winning author and a speaker. Looking forward to speaking with you.
Excellent! There are physical, psychological, mental, emotional .. pieces to the puzzle, but the spiritual aspect and the background and present surroundings must be included to complete the picture. When we ask our heavenly Father for direction, we witness miracles.
My 6 yr old son is non-verbal and on the spectrum, and he's been seeking pressure lately. These can be rough hugs, where he grabs your head and pulls it to his, pinching, grinding of his teeth. It seems that he gets anxious
This started this summer after school ended, and there was really nothing for him to do.
This doesn't address effective strategies to reduce or eliminate such behaviors
Ill shout it from the roof tops, AUTISM is not an excuse OR an explanation for aggressive behavior.
Citing one of the comments
„ @nadiamartinez8762
6 months ago
So I was diagnosed with autism at 2. When I was a little girl, I was extremely aggressive and absolutely go nuts if someone spoke to me softly or if they touched me gently or gave me a firm touch. Calming music would irritate me too. There was a lot going on in my mind as well as the sensory input in my environment or if I felt burnt out from a long day. Just like adult that get burnt out from a job and come home to kids jumping all over them, we get agitated and irritable and want to be left alone to recharge. What calmed me down was if they left me alone or gave me something to focus on. Of course, I’ve gotten better within time and now I’m 25 with an autistic 3 year old and a 9 month old.“
yeah i heard a loot about this, and seeing this in my child. i think that my child is out of line because it's a trauma related reaction from my son. I think that my son has seen a lot in my family. I think family counseling is important head on. When trauma is related in generations of family that comes up in kids with disabilities that is what I noticed.
You should also tell nuerotypicals to stop bullying nuerodivergent people and for nuerotypicals to stop supporting wars and doing the right vs left in poltics. If anything needs to be corrected it's nuerotypical behavior