SO many people misunderstand this! Empathy in Autism vs Psychopathy
So a lot of people talk about a lack of empathy when it comes to both neurode divergent people on the autism spectrum and psychopaths. And although I could see how it manifests that way in both cases, there’s a very important distinction. And to understand it, we have to understand what empathy actually is. So empathy is three stages that come together. The first is cognitive empathy. This is our ability to recognize someone else’s emotional state and very often has to do with reading non-verbal cues. The second one is emotional empathy. And that’s what most people think of when they hear the word empathy. It’s our ability to connect with that feeling or that emotion and feel it ourselves. And finally, the third one is empathic action. This is our willingness to help or support someone once we have correctly identified and felt what they’re feeling. So people with ASD, you might be surprised to find out, don’t typically have an issue with the second or third part of empathy. In fact, they often feel even more than neurotypical people and are willing to go to great lengths to help or remedy the situation. They typically have an issue with that first step, the cognitive empathy, in picking up the subtle non-verbal cues that allows them to know that there’s an issue. But once they do know, they could be shockingly empathetic. So, the way I like to describe it is saying that somebody who has ASD is not empathetic is like saying that a deaf person in no way has the capacity to understand a movie. They can, they just can’t hear it. But if you put the subtitles on where it’s spelled out and they could communicate it right, everything’s perfectly fine. And when it comes to people on the autism spectrum, it might be our fault as much as theirs because we don’t communicate our emotions in a way that they can understand it. but it’s a communication issue, not an empathy issue. With psychopaths, however, it’s typically the complete opposite. They’re actually very good at step one. They see the non-verbal cues and they’re very good at quickly reading people and knowing what that person is likely thinking or feeling. But then they have a really hard time with step two and three. They could see it, but they rarely connect with it and are rarely willing to do something to remedy it unless it somehow benefits them. So, as a result, it’s not surprising that there isn’t really a high correlation between ASD and violent crimes. In fact, a lot of research has shown that someone who’s on the autism spectrum is more likely to be the victim than the perpetrator of a violent crime. However, there is absolutely a high correlation between being a psychopath and the committing of violent crimes.
32 Comments
Interesting. My work with preschoolers confirms this! We try to teach them to recognize emotions by facial expressions. But when someone is crying or otherwise manifesting loud distress, my students often try to comfort each other.
If I only lack number 3 what does that make me?
❤️
Spidey, you say everything always so perfectly.❤
As a Borderliner, I can, with lots of insecurities, read nonverbal clues, and I have a lot of compassion and like to help… but I never know what is the right thing to say, imo, bc I feel so strongly, but people don't feel close to me and tend to get scared when I appear so understanding…? Sth. like that, idk. I'm very lonely.
EXCELLENT breakdown.
🧡🧡🧡👏👏👏🧡🧡🧡
Thank you Spidey, thank you for describing this and making the distinction so well. There are so many people, including therapists and social workers, that think that autism and antisocial personality disorder are either the same or on the same Spectrum. It's terrible, the lack of Education out there, and the only people that pay is the person on the ASD and ADD spectrums. ❤❤
As a mother of two ASD kids, thank you very much for this explanation ❤ (I'm of course aware of this difference, just could never explain it this accurately)
As someone who has ASD. Thanks for this… I always thought I may be both due to some of the other physical expressions of psychopathy (staring etc) but I know I'm not and yoi explain it so well.
Yes, I agree completely with this assessment.
Thank you. I work with children on the spectrum and some of them are amazingly empathetic. They're always surprising me and I love being around them.
I just watched a short of Pete H as he finished up his pep rally….no response…his eye movement was priceless. I didn't understand it but I knew it was packed with contradiction.
Thank you. So many people miss understand me. But I care greatly for people and have a lot of empathy and compassion.
I have all 3
My ASD son told me when he was 16 that he didn't think he had empathy… while hugging me with sad face because we were at my mother's cemetery niche. I didn’t put my arms out for him. He hugged me on his own. So I explained what empathy is and why he had it.
Very good explanation.
I'm ADHD but identify with this. I'm slow to pick up, but experience #2 and 3 deeply!
Very clear and nice explanation
Perfectly said. I love the recognition that we often have more empathy than neurotypical peeps. Spot on!! ❤❤
💯💯💯💯% correct from my experience! Thank you for sharing this!!! 🤍🙏🏼🫶🏼
Glad this is on the Internet, hope people see it and learn. I don't understand what the hell you are saying, but I will help with most everything.
It's exhausting to deal with people, but just talk to me as bluntly as possible and we can get along great. Just talk to me in a way I understand.
Wow. Really?
Best description I’ve seen, better than all the psychologists I follow. Autistics also seem to have a high desire for rules and for everyone to follow them. Psychopaths are the opposite.
Thank you! Irl, it's easier to see the distinctions but in movies and media, they conflate them to be similar way too much!
Thank you so much for breaking this all down. My grandson is autistic. This helps to understand what he’s feeling.
I knew a female autistic woman who was truly empathic and very kind and considerate. I also knew an intentionally cruel man who was very obviously on the spectrum with Asperger‘s. He said horrible things to his wife and about his wife, and he deliberately lied to me aboutbeing willing to show up later as a landlord because of my sleep issues. He showed up at the crack of dawn on purpose. So this one had a bit of psychopathy combined with Asperger’s.
Thank you so much for making this clear, it means a lot to me! ❤❤❤
In my case & I think for many others, it's exactly the fact that I feel emotions & empathy very very strongly. Like literally feeling another persons emotional pain as mine. Often the cognitive issue isn't a lack of understanding the cues, it's more not understanding why many people are clearly being "fake" with their responses and we're trying to really work out why that person is being fake.
🙏💜 Makes so much sense! 🙏💜
Thank you. 😭❤️
This is an incredibly good explanation thanks!
I have an important question…. I know someone who can't actually do any of those three steps…. Step 1, she's absolutely OBLIVIOUS to all nonverbal clues…
Step 2 – even when you explicitly tell her what you're feeling she's unable to feel that
And Step 3 – her response is generally one of disregard, even criticising someone for needing any action, like a hug, or even a kind word. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's hostile but her body language and facial expression is openly dismissive.
How would you categorise a person like this? I used to think it might be a form of autism but I'm completely perplexed by her. She's so confusing, frustrating and difficult to be around.
Please help me understand 🙏🏼
Omg. Thank you so much for this, it is put so so beautifully. I am saving this video to explain this in the future. Really this is so well put.