Childhood Trauma: The Lives of the Neglected Children
Children who experience physical, cognitive
or emotional neglect, say because their mother was sick and their father was busy, often
face anxiety. As a result, their body produces stress hormones. If this happens a lot, these
hormones become toxic for their developing brain, which then later can repress emotional
and cognitive well-being for life. The real story of Daniel Rucareanu, who spent
part of his early childhood in a Romanian orphanage, shows the full impact neglect can
have. The story began in 1966 when Romania’s then
leader, Nicolae Ceaușescu, wanted to make his country a world powerhouse and came up
with laws to increase the country’s population. Abortion and contraception were declared mostly
illegal. While the law led to a rapid rise in birth rates, many of the poorer families
were unable to take care of all their children and Daniel, and around half a million others,
were sent to state-run institutions. In most orphanages there were no toys, no
books, or anything else to stimulate cognitive development. Many kids just stared at the
bare ceilings, waiting for their next meal. Due to the lack of human contact, some babies
developed strategies for self stimulation, such as rocking back and forth. The cognitive neglect often led to lower IQ
scores, delayed language development and a lack of creative thinking. This happens because
our brains build connections with every new experience and stimulation. If there are no
rich experiences during the first years of life — the period in which the brain develops
the fastest — children cannot build the foundations necessary for optimal future learning.
They miss out for life. Daniel lived with over 400 other children
and their shared bedrooms were hardly ever cleaned. The meals were mostly tiny portions
of boiled cabbage, which the staff would sometimes steal to eat themselves. Some supervisors
used violence to control the orphans. Others encouraged the older kids to beat Daniel to
humiliate him and exercise authority.. The consequences of physical neglect and lack
of basic nutrients caused most orphans to suffer from stunted growth. Some children
contracted HIV and Hepatitis B as a result of the reusing of medical supplies. The physical
abuse caused severe bruising and other injuries. The overworked and under-trained staff hardly
ever soothed the crying children. In fact they barely spent any time with Daniel at
all. Some children were left completely alone with their worries, others hid their feelings
from the very people who ought to protect them, since they feared being hurt. Emotional neglect and anxiety lead to an excessive
production of the stress hormones known as adrenaline and cortisol,which is like poison
for the developing brain.But the experience also distorted the children’s understanding
of love and human relationships. They learned to trust nobody and as adults, often suffered
from depression, insomnia and social anxiety. When Ceausescu’s regime was eventually overthrown
and the conditions inside the orphanages were shown on television, researchers from around
the world came to examine the nameless children. MRI scans later showed that some had smaller
volumes of brain mass. The resulting research made a strong case that not only is nutrition
vital to a child’s development, but so is human contact. To help the children, a large
number were adopted into foreign families. But even after being adopted, many had problems
forming loving bonds to their new parents. This aligns with the attachment theory and
the notion that a child needs to establish a loving relationship with at least one primary
caregiver early in life. Daniel was quite lucky with his family. While he continued
to experience trauma and anxiety, he went on to have a university education, started
a family of his own and later he founded a non-profit organization for neglected children. If you grew up in a loving environment, count
yourself really, really lucky. If you experienced forms of neglect, try to internalize the idea
that it was never your fault and maybe not even your parents’ fault either. To read what we think can be done if you have
ever experienced neglect, read the descriptions below. One way is to share your thoughts about
neglect and how you think it affects you today. This and all other Sprouts’ videos are
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Children who experience physical, cognitive or emotional neglect, often face anxiety. As a result, their body produces stress hormones. If this happens a lot, these hormones become toxic for their developing brain, which then later can repress emotional and cognitive well-being for life.
Non profit of Daniel Rucareanu: https://www.facebook.com/federeii/
TREATMENTS
If a child is used to suppressing their emotions, because of neglect, it may be difficult to recognize and experience them in a healthy way. Therapists and mental health professionals can help both children and adults learn to identify, accept, and express their emotions in a healthful manner. These treatment options include:
1. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT): CBT aims to explain to you what’s going on inside your brain and how to cope with irrational feelings or fears.
2. The Hoffman Process: This 7-8 day’s guided process, designed to bring participants back into their childhood to reconnect with their parents and make peace.
3. Family therapy: If a child is being emotionally neglected at home, family therapy can help both the parents and the child.
4. Parenting classes: Parents who neglect their child’s emotional needs could benefit from parenting classes.
5. Psychoanalysis: The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious.
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COLLABORATORS
Script: Jonas Koblin and Wave Vasiksiri
Artist: Pascal Gaggelli
Voice: Matt Abbott
Coloring: Nalin
Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa
Creative Design: Selina Bador
Production: Bianka
Proofreading: Susan
Sound Design: Miguel Ojeda
Special thanks to our follower Wave Vasiksiri for suggesting the topic and collaborating on this script.
SOUNDTRACKS
Toys Are Alive – Studio Le Bus
Here Come The Raindrops – Reed Mathis
DIG DEEPER with these top videos, games and resources:
Learn about The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life. Our video on the topic is a great start. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOowWxOXCg&t=2s
Do the still face experience with a baby or learn about it on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0
Visit our website to get access to our sources and recommended class activities.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Neglect Theory
00:40 Daniel Rucareanu’s story
01:33 Cognitive Neglect
02:29 Physical Neglect
03:10 Emotional Neglect
05:10 Ending
45 Comments
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The boomer generation created a lot of emotionally neglected children.So self consumed were they about their own needs,they failed to meet ours
My child was going to school and then started crying next day and we compul to push him to school and that night he was very scared and started crying like i m going to my mom call my mom and he totally forgot i m there
How to cure his problem pls reply sir
As a child I often felt very alone for far too many reasons to comment
At a very young age I was made to feel inferior and unwanted and that kind of mindset as a very young child is horrible 😢
Even now I still feel a constant need to retreat into innocence again to feel safe
how about being locked in basement and having mothers boyfriend sexually and got off on scaring his victims he was locked up years later for doing it to another baby this is nothing
It's a very complex issue, the root of is the how the childhood situation was. It's very interesting to learn. My sisters divorce just hit me to the core. I feel pity for her kids. I hope can save her little baby girl , for a better adulthood in the future… 😮😢
Danke!
This is inaccurate. They may have lifelong effects, but they are not irreversible
How is it not parent's fault?
Sometimes it isn't the parent's fault because it was outside of their control, but often it's totally the parent's fault and it was totally in their control to neglect their child or not.
If you don't know how to raise a child or help regulate their emotions, take a parenting class or read a book.
Does neglect lead to trauma?
Or is it the abuse that causes trauma?
The Romanian Project still has not produced conclusive results.
Delayed development comes from neglect. That is true.
And it can be corrected later in life with exposure to life experiences and loving support.
I come from a long line of neglected children having more neglected children. The worst part is not being able to hate (all) of them for it. They had it happen to them, and thats why it continued. But that's no excuse, I'm trying to break the cycle.
THE ONLY BLESSING IS THAT I CANNOT REMEMBER MYSELF AS A BABY. GOD KNOWS WHAT WAS SAID AND DONE IN MY PRESENCE ❤️🩹.
hears the deal shut up and listen i will only say it once i am an important person in the scheme of things this is my introduction so listen and learn
these anxieties are coming straight from hell
you heard me right straight from hell now permit me to explain child
God has an evil obcession to creatw anxiety some times heavy anxiety not only among nations also this includes seemingly average kids and adults as well who seemingly are people of no real consequence among their friends family ect as with God this is of no importance what so ever no human will ever impress God
even though you think you are not important that does not mean you are not important to Gods plan that is to constantly and continually intimidate you thats right you heard right God has an indomitable obcession to intimidate you
your question should be why
why would God care to intimidate me
for one on a dark quite cloudless night look up
look up into the night sky and what you see you should find endlessly intimidating
God created you for the purpose of intimidating you for your entire life day in and day out until your last gasp ok until your last gasp
now what is one thing God can do and does do with this fear
well he can give a sermon in church telling you from behind a pulpit from behind the masquerade
notice its called mass abbreviation for masquerade that if life is getting you down sowing doubt and uncertainty into the fabric of your life that this is the devils whisper trying to steal God's love from your heart and that you will stand firm as Gods child you are Gods warrior and only God will deliver you from your enemies God only and only God
if you some how made it this far then i have shown a bit of actual truth that will not change over time and by no means is this the only thing God finds useful for fear not by a long shot and obviously i could expound considerably on this topic for there is much to say much not little when God and the universe are against you then who can be for you in case you doubt me than know this christianty is a false religion and jesus is Lucifer in disguise
for many this life is hell
facts speak louder than christian propaganda
( https://youtu.be/fLW9h76QZ50?feature=shared )
the delusion got you down
do feel like a clown
big big frown hidden by a statuist quasi smile imprinted on your brain in order to hide lifes refrain
what a brain drain
it is
It's a very interesting video!!
No kid should ever be neglected
1:30 – They were building Communist drones.
So 😞 . I ❤️precious children encouraging 🙏 for beauty life 🙏🙏🙏 3:40
You don’t choose your family but you can choose your friends and the family you make your own. Be grateful for what you were given and learn from the mistakes made. Do better and be positive even when it’s impossible, never ever be the victim it takes away your power. Slow small improvements over years will work miracles one day at a time. Love you all and I believe you will succeed
Elected children end up being quiet and solitary in a world that prefers extroverts and performers. Life.😅
With a depressed mother and mentally unstable father I later was diagnosed with d I d among other trauma
😢
America loves ignoring history. We're over here using dead bodies as incubators without anyone's consent.
Remember you deserve to be loved and appreciated.
Children don't know when an adult is damaged.
They think that adults are strong, wise, mature and in control.
When a parent abandons or is otherwise unable to love a child, that child assumes the fault is his.
That child assumes she is unworthy of being loved.
When I was in my 40's, my dad admitted to me ( his exact words) " I was cruel to you when you were a child “.
I knew what he meant.
He ignored me.
He neglected me.
He was embarrassed by me.
Ashamed of me.
Sometimes he pretended I was not there so he didn't have to admit to friends and acquaintances that this effeminate boy was his son.
Yet I watched him be a loving father to my brother.
I watched from the shadows.
From being a fat child, I grew into a fine, handsome man.
The first time another man held me and loved me, I was hooked.
This had never happened to me.
But it wasn’t enough.
I wanted more and from many different people.
I have spent my entire life time seeking acceptance from other men.
But no amount of approval or acceptance has eased the feeling of unworthiness.
This was my addiction .
Sometimes I wonder why my father's opinion of me has been so important.
After all, he's just another person on the planet… nothing special.
But I didn't understand that when I was a four year old, a six year old, or when I was on the edge of budding sexuality and was left clueless and alone to figure out what was happening to me.
It was quite a moment when he said that he'd been cruel.
It only affirmed what I already knew.
I didn’t realize that he knew it too and was able to admit it.
That was something, at least.
But it was too late.
And even worse some people not knowing one's background just stick in the boot, you are so antisocial, you are so cold!!! and such sort of things, not knowing that it's only because of lucky they acquired better qualities, but not because they were so smart than others. Anyway, maybe they'll understand it someday. On the other hand, I really appreciate those who care enough to show empathy to those who were emotionally neglected at their childhood, it gives a very huge relief!! It's healing just to know that someone understands, and wish you good 🌿
Thank you so much :))) Today I also created a video to this topic 🙂 hope it helps someone 🙂
0:47 I remember hearing it a lot. People in this shitass country STILL think the communism period was better.
I think I might've been emotionally neglected
I was pretty poor with a depressed mother who wouldn't do anything with us, or our verbally abusive father never took us outside to the park or anything, while barely (hugging/touching) us along with our mother.
Then i somehow got social anxiety and it got worse because i would make up excuses not to go because of how bad it was, and nobody around me, even teachers or councilers trying to get me to go to school even thought about mental health issues and just decided to keep forcing me till i dropped out at 7th grade when all my(3friends) left me and bassicly just disappeared.
There is so much more than this, but I don't want this to be very long, so I had two attempts at my life and was on a mental ward where my Doctor laughed at me because I wanted to leave a place with constant screaming all night and the staff themselves being assholes. Great job mental health system and school system CA!
Wow this is just so inspiring and relieving to me My own emotional neglect was never my fault or my parents fault it was just an unfortunate situation of life.
I was grown up being neglected at home as I didn't perform as per my parents expectations. So i ended up being in my room all the time on my own , whereas my mother and other two siblings are with her. I stopped watching television with them as i was compared and made fun of with the character in the drama. Now i find it difficult to watch any movie or series as it trigger the same pain of comparison and abuse. I was constantly told I was a disloyal child of the house and a destroyer of family at a very young age everyday. I was made feel an outsider at home where the two siblings became my mother pet and i became her everyday enemy and someone who competed with her. I was a target for constant chronic neglect and scapegoating.
I feel awful for those babies
No he isnt going to found a non profit organization for neglected children.Becouse he knows the moment he decides to do something for society.Society will devour him.Even if you die for sociery.There will be someone who wants to hate you for it.That neglected kid is waken up to the truth.And never serve anyone but himself ever again.Instead of building society.He will decide to join the army.And destroy as much people and murder as much as he can.Just so he wont end up in the gutter one day.To be abused and bullied again.
Our mom abandoned us.😅 For her, only her problems matter 😅
Definitely has nothing to do with circumcision, or vaccines.
i still can't understand if my life was bad with, but yesterday i remembered how my parents would leave me in the car unlocked for a few hours every week. they did this because they'd go out to the beach & stuff & i didn't want to go because the sunlight hurt my eyes, & i couldn't stay home or go with them while complaining because my dad would say I ruined everything every time. it goes back as far as i can remember at least, so 5 or something. growing up my peers called me spoiled cause i got my own email address before them & video games. seems kind of meaningless now. i never understood when kids at school talked about having "fun"with their parents. mine were scary, i can count moments of well-intentioned affection towards me on one hand alone. school was scary, teachers put me in rooms by myself because i was too weird. outside was scary, I've been terrified of people all my life. i was scary, didnt understand myself & still dont. kids talked about spending the weekend at their grandmas place; i never got that, everyone apart from my parents like 1500 miles away or something like that. same stroke of breath, i learned that you dont "love" family in my culture. its just not… like that. it's utilitarian. seeing the ways my cousins grew up healthy, diagnosed, not malnourished (though that was my fault), physically close wirh people; it just don't make no sense to me.
i dont want them to apologize or anything. id say its mostly my dad because thats what my mom said but i remember how much of a disappointment i was to her at 10 when she said id never get into a good university & called me stupid, said id end up like a deadbeat like my half brother. i enjoy a "big" house. dont really make a difference when youd rather be alone, yet not physically alone. if they said they knew how much they screwed me up I'd just have no place to put this grief. I'd rather just move on with the good & the bad as I've been doing all my life at this point. but the bad rears its head because i dont know whether to believe I've been hurt or deserved to be so by all of my life. the best I do now is tell my best friends. sometimes their faces get twisted up & it takes me a while to realize
Childhood neglect leaves invisible scars—trauma shapes the adult long after childhood ends
When I was 3 years old I was being selfish but instead of my parents telling me to stop they threw me to the backyard and the worst part is it was snowing and I wasent wearing a jacket but I’m okay now
This is why I consider anti abortion unethical
I hate my life
I was severely neglected as a child. When I was born, I was a healthy baby — chubby and full of life. But after I started living with my father, everything changed. My twin sister and I barely had proper meals or hygiene; we would only shower once a month. Our home was full of garbage and insects.
My dad was a single father, always too busy working to really care for us. Eventually, we were hospitalized for malnutrition — I was literally at death’s door. That experience changed me forever. My body never went back to how it was; even now as a young adult, I can’t gain fat or weight like before. The neglect didn’t just affect me mentally, but physically too. things like this really stay with you for life.
Well said
I grew up same,mother was an antisocial. I have all same results re: trust, social anxiety, etc. Not all homo sapiens should breed!!
I was adopted from an orphanage in romania and I take ashwagandha but it doesn't help
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢