Behavior Decoded: Why Teens Avoid Treatment and How to Help

Behavior Decoded: Why Teens Avoid Treatment and How to Help

do you have a kid who needs help they’re disregulated and yet you can’t get them to help well we’re going to talk about how you can lead a horse to water and help them drink so when you recognize your kid needs help and you can’t get them there boy it’s hard sometimes it’s taking those supplements sometimes it’s talk therapy no matter what is going on and when you know your kid needs help and you just don’t know what to do to help them get them there and that’s we’re going to dive into as part of our ongoing Behavior decoded series we have one of our members and our community who submitted this amazing question to us what do you do so let’s take a minute and listen to her question about her teenage son I guess is what’s keeping me up because no matter what I try to do or try to help he refuses I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t want to recognize that he he’s a little different than other people or that he’s having difficulties or I don’t know I can’t bring him to therapy or have him talk to anybody because I can drag them there I mean even with the products that you have I can’t make him take the vitamins I can’t make him wear something or do something he has that choice that’s another thing people keep telling me so I’m really perplexed and how do I help my kiddo as you can see this is a frustrating experience and she doesn’t know what to do and when we want to really look at what’s going on with our kids why are they resisting we have to look at what are some of the common reasons that kids particularly teenagers avoid treatment because I do feel that even when you have really super disregulated Littles they still trust you and believe you and that’s a big part of it right so like their past experiences negative treatment experiences especially when they haven’t gotten the right help which you know the majority of people who work one to one with with me in our brain Behavior Reset Program they’re seeing I don’t know a minimum of five different providers I would say that on average they’ve probably gone to 15 to 20 before they get to me so they get burnt out right they lose hope they feel like wow is this going to work and I would say out of everything that’s probably the number one thing that I see but I those negative past experiences they’ve had right failures you know gaslighting by different providers hello um and I think that they also start to feel like where’s my privacy right um that could be a part of it lack of you know concern about whether they have choice right so as things get compounded over time kids look for control and this is one means of control right and what I have found is that when you give them control in other areas they’re more likely to be amable to treatment right um they may have difficulties discussing their personal issues you know things like mood issues you know OCD there’s a Darkness to them and they don’t really always want to talk about them with others or even if you’re in the room right um they can you know have an influence of peers to avoid treatment even though I do have to say in my area of the country it’s almost like Posh you know it’s like oh who’s your therapist um I remember years ago I had a girl who was like you know her mom said she was feeling kind of bad that she didn’t have therapist and she really wanted therapy I was like wow how cool is that but there still is a stigma very much you know in different parts of the country you know also culturally there’s stigma about different you know kinds of therapy um you know what you’re going to like it’s much more acceptable to go to an occupational therapist or a physical therapist and yet it’s still not acceptable to go to psychotherapy right there’s also you know a fear of the unknown and change that comes with it when you go to therapy you have to change you know a lot of people come to me and they have no barriers to come to me you know hopping on a plane um even though I work remotely most of my people come in the one time to meet me and we do a brain map they often tell me they’ve been listening to me for years years or months and they’re like I knew that we were going to have to make some real lifestyle changes and I wasn’t ready for it right and I thought you know and and I think it’s great wherever you are you have to make that decision but you know we get it done we get we get Behavior change when you follow the Dr row plan um and I think there’s also a belief for teenagers right as they become autonomous that they can do this on their own and they don’t I don’t need help right and and part of that may be what are you role modeling what are their what are the messages are they getting in the universe right and even when you say your teenagers say you can do this in your on your own right you know you know I’m a big fan of doing a lot of these things but you need professional guidance what kind of information are you getting that you can do this on your own right and I and I always like to talk to teens about you know first it you know how do we resolve this right it starts with trust and Rapport right whether you know that you that you have with your child is that trust broken is your relationship broken down and and part of this may be that control component I the two times ever that I’ve had it was really one time that we had somebody refused treatment with neuro feedback hello it feels so awesome like who doesn’t want to do it um was totally about control and um this was a very disregulated mother um and uh they they were looking for control it was like the only only way they had control and and just because your kid is saying no it doesn’t mean you are the problem but remember we always got to take a 360 View and look at why this is happening right but is the trust there that you’re going to have their back right you’re going to support them in in it and also what are you role modeling are you taking care of yourself because some a lot of times you recently we we had a situation where you know they were like our kids need help but we don’t but then they told me it was like just utter chaos at home and I was like here’s the deal Dr fo doesn’t work with you unless you’re getting your own help I mean you’re literally arguing in front of us uh virtually and I’m thinking I can’t even imagine when we’re not around right and it was just like everybody was at each other good human beings I don’t want you to think this can happen to anybody right and who hasn’t been there hello everybody’s getting on my nerves today I’m trying trying to film and they’ve decided it’s like they’re going to have a party in the house including the cat right so you you get on each other’s nurse it’s not your go-to but if you’re living like that trust breaks down and whatnot so it’s really important as a strategy to combat this to involve your teens in decision making right so sometimes like I I require a lot of you know I require in order to to work with me we get we’re hacking into the brain we’re not Mickey mousing around is Tony likes to say right we want to use everything that science shows us to calm regulate the nervous system and change Behavior that’s what happens when you work with me for six months one-onone or you’re in our disregulation solution program you’re going to want to make the most out of it doesn’t mean you do everything remember we don’t always jump in the deep end but we walk into the pool you got to do something otherwise you’re just spinning your wheels right so how can we get our kids in that decision making process and you know the example I was about to give was that a lot of times I require a lot of you know require some dietary and certainly supplements right sort of basic ones so when I have somebody who’s resistant I’m like look here’s the actual written plan here’s what I’d like to do what are we willing to do and I’m working with somebody actually still see um a few kids in counseling and so I have this great guy that I work with this young man and he’s very resistant he has a lot of gastrointestinal things he’s tried a lot um and so we you know we did some um actually genetic variant testing that showed what he should and shouldn’t have we went over the list it gave him food recommendations and we actually went through and his mom was like I can’t believe he agreed to this and I was like listen he got to pick we made choices um and and obviously you know we have trust and Rapport and we’re working slowly right and it’s very slow it’s actually slower than I probably have ever worked with somebody but we’re making progress and actually these parents are so thrilled they’re so great they appreciate the micro right we always want to provide in that case I provided education and information and as visual as possible don’t just think because Mom said so you know or dad said so we always want to address their fears and concerns you know you know what are side effects what are what happens if I don’t like that therapist you know lay it out and really have conversations we always want to set realistic goals and expectations sometimes I get kids who were like well I’m going to do this every day and I’m like listen that’d be great if you did this every day but is that really realistic because you have soccer three times a week and whatnot and stuff like that so I’m like let’s set a minimum and then you can do that right so I think that’s really helpful for all treatment adherence because remember kids like and parents are all or nothing so if I’m not if I’m not doing it the way that I intended it’s a failure that’s just not how it works we got to break that cycle we always want to be as flexible and supportive as as we possibly can right what kind of support are we providing at home around doing different treatments doing different therapies I know sometimes we think we are but again how are we leading with it are mom and dad arguing about it right I love to actually there’s some research like that shows you like what happens when kids uh like little little kids right because cuz they don’t know how to mask anything what happens when Mom and Dad are funny and hugging around each other and what happens when they’re yelling it’s a vastly different appearance of a child so start thinking about that because we always look for the solution and are the magic is so in the little things right um I had saw one of my clients Hannah from years ago yesterday a couple days ago at the nail salon she’s going to come in and she was just telling me uh it was so so awesome to hear how some of the most the kids that struggle the most how well they’re doing years after working with me but what we were really talking about is how much the winds are in the little things and you know he was a great example of a teenager who was really resistant right and you know he’s on the Spectrum he has a different way of think thinking and we really met him where he was at and what he could do and what he could hear and we provided a lot of education and reinforcement we modeled and practiced mom and what could I do with Mom right Dad wasn’t even a part of it what could we do right um and you know how can I incorporate things that kids here right whether it’s a tiktock video or different technology like what language can you have that is your child and where they’re at to help with understanding is it a book um you know think start thinking outside the box you know it’s great I have one kid who’s easy about these things and another kid who’s not and guess what that’s who they are and so you have to meet them where they’re at right sometimes we kids are so resistant it’s okay to be like listen you have to love yourself in order to do this and I’m not going to argue but then you know you’re not going to have XY and Z right you’re not going to have the the you know the health that you want you’re not going to be able to go out whenever you want you know so sometimes there some negotiating that has to happen and they’re that’s okay too right but it can’t be punitive so I hope this got you thinking and I hope my tribe member this inspired you to think a little bit differently and if you’re looking for more support you can go to our solution matcher you can go to Dr ran.com forel and it’s just a great solution matcher that will one match you to the solution for where you’re at we’ve t tons of resources of you know all different kinds but also you’re going to get on our email list and hello we write really great informative emails so wherever you’re at is exactly where you need to be just remember think about meeting your kid where they’re at and helping to guide them to those treatments that can be of help [Music]

Behavior Decoded: Why Teens Avoid Treatment and How to Help | Teen Mental Health & Parenting Tips

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Why do so many teens avoid treatment—even when they’re struggling with anxiety, depression, ADHD, PANS/PANDAS, or Lyme disease? In this episode, Dr. Roseann breaks down the hidden reasons adolescents resist help and what parents can do to bridge the gap.

You’ll learn:
🔍 The psychological and emotional barriers that stop teens from embracing treatment
🧠 How stigma, fear, or lack of trust impact their willingness to get help
💬 Why teen brain development plays a role in treatment resistance
🌱 Practical strategies for parents to encourage acceptance of support
✨ How to create a safe, regulation-first environment that builds trust and resilience

If your teen is struggling with mental health, behavioral issues, or emotional dysregulation, this episode offers actionable insights to guide them toward the treatment they need and deserve.

💜 No matter where you are on your parenting journey… It’s gonna be OK.

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ABOUT DR. ROSEANN CAPANNA-HODGE:
I’m Dr. Roseann, Founder of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health and host of the “Dysregulated Kids Podcast” podcast. For over 30 years, I’ve helped thousands of families address emotional dysregulation and dysregulated behaviors in children through my BrainBehaviorReset® program. As a psychologist, author, and mom of two neurodivergent boys, I know firsthand the struggles you face as a parent. The journey to helping your child regulate their emotions begins with understanding and connection. My mission is to provide science-backed, brain-based tools that foster lasting calm, emotional resilience, and happy families. Subscribe to this channel for new solutions every week on managing your child’s focus, anxiety and dysregulated behaviors naturally.

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⚠️ Disclaimer: This video is for educational purposes only and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making decisions about psychiatric medications, supplements, or other treatments for your child.

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