LOS ANGELES (Dec. 8, 2025) — A Cedars-Sinai expert says there are reasons many feel alone and sad at the holidays—even as others are lighting up their homes, singing seasonal songs and hosting family feasts.
More than a quarter of U.S. adults say they are estranged from at least one close relative, and “going no-contact” with family members is a phrase heard more often these days. Whether more people are distancing themselves from family—or simply more comfortable talking about it—is unclear.
What is clear, said Itai Danovitch, MD, chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai, is that loneliness is a growing health problem, and the holidays can intensify feelings of depression and isolation.
“There are many causes of loneliness, but certainly one of the most significant emerging causes is our physical disconnection and increasing reliance on technology to communicate with each other,” Danovitch said. “We evolved to be a highly social species with the capacity to form personal relationships, families, tribes and communities. Some of the most remarkable distinctions of the human brain are those that help us understand one another, imagine another person’s perspective, and empathically share their feelings.
“But we’ve seen an unraveling of the social structures that have always anchored us, and particularly during times of need, that has left many of us feeling alone and disconnected.”
These dynamics create a host of challenges and difficult emotions that commonly surface during the holidays, when relationships, family and community are front and center.
The Cedars-Sinai Newsroom spoke with Danovitch about ways to cope with loneliness and estrangement during the holiday season, as well as how to build meaningful and healthy connections.
Why do people feel lonelier or depressed during the holidays?
There are several reasons. Loneliness and isolation are amplified during the holidays if people are already experiencing a sense of separation from their families of origin or the social pain of loneliness. Even people who are not estranged from their families—but who may not live close by or aren’t accustomed to spending time together—can suddenly feel overwhelmed by dynamics that resurface as if no time has passed, although one person is now an adult and another a grandparent. Another contributor to holiday depression or loneliness is expectations. People bring personal ideas about what the holidays should look like, and those expectations often carry emotional weight—and often don’t align with reality.
How can people cope when there is family estrangement or spending time together is difficult?
When it comes to family dynamics, relationships are messy. Families are messy. It’s valuable to be aware of challenging dynamics and to bring patience and grace to any interactions. Take a deep breath and feel compassion and forgiveness if you feel like you’re not being your best self. If you suddenly slip back into the 13-year-old version of yourself, give yourself a break. Give your family a break. Also, know that you can’t solve everything over one holiday. Developing better or more fulfilling relationships with family takes effort and time. Lean into relationships and approach engagement and connecting in a way that feels appropriate for the situation and the individuals.
For mental wellbeing, is it OK to maintain boundaries with family during the holidays?
There’s no right or wrong answer. Boundaries are individualized, and I wouldn’t judge the reason somebody does or doesn’t want to spend time with their family—or whether they remain estranged. That’s for them to decide. But I think it’s helpful to be honest and accepting of our decisions on how to handle the tradeoffs we make. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are an important foundation for everything else.
How can people cope if they don’t have family to spend the holidays with?
Foster connections within the community and the people around you—friends, neighbors, or groups who share an interest that’s important to you. Think about participating in a food kitchen or a beach cleanup, or volunteer with an animal shelter or in supportive services for kids. Spend time outdoors or reach out to your neighbors. Consider what interests you, what moves you, and how you can find others who share those interests. These connections are crucial for mental health.
What are healthy ways to manage holiday stress—say, social anxiety or discomfort during holiday gatherings?
Social anxiety is one of the most common types of anxiety, and meeting new people is one of the most stressful things people do. Part of what makes us anxious is the feeling that we’re being judged, so we’re prone to worrying about coming across the right way. When you’re in a group and somebody is new, be gracious and include them. It goes a long way. For people worried about falling into old habits with their family, consider intentional activities. Some families come together and talk, and then conversation drifts toward points of conflict—like politics or religion. Redirect with a board game, a movie or a group hike. It’s time together that matters.
Read more on the Cedars-Sinai Blog: Social Anxiety—How to Navigate the Holiday Season