Managing holiday tasks and your mental health

Managing holiday tasks and your mental health

Well, the holidays are filled with happy moments and time spent with family and friends, it can take a toll on our mental health from buying presents, hosting guests, you name it, it can create some stress and even chaos in some aspects. The amount of times I have to spend calming Corey down, like I’m so you got it, you got this girl, and not everything matters, right? So joining us to dive a little bit deeper about this is Doctor Cheryl Ziegler. Doctor Ziegler, good morning. Good morning. Are you feeling this right now too? Oh, big time, big time. I’m trying to take. My own advice. I feel like it’s the moms that really experience this the most. Well, yes, the data says that, so not that you need it. I think we can see it, but actually the data really does show that women carry the burden of the holidays, um, and disproportionately experience peak levels of stress compared to men and or their partners who are also sort of being everything to their kids, creating all the magic. Moms are the magic that really is true. You know, it’s the whole meme that’s like no one is more surprised on Christmas morning about what everyone got than. Yes, it’s so true. OK, so how do some women describe their experience with all of the holiday tasks? Yeah, it was kind of like you said in the intro, it’s, it’s what we call kind of the emotional burden or the emotional load, the mental load. If anyone’s heard any of those terms, they all kind of mean when you are thinking about things, you’re planning things, and it’s taking a toll on you. It’s truly stressful on you. It can really like when it goes untethered, it just keeps going and going it leads. To anxiety and sometimes even depression or dread around the holidays and so it disrupts our sleep, it creates an irritable mood and sometimes causes, you know, people to overspend, just do things that are really outside of a comfort zone actually perpetuating more stress. You mentioned depression a little bit more, but like I mean I see this with my own mom who is running around trying to make Christmas perfect for everybody. I see this with Corey sitting right next to me trying to do the exact same thing. What impact. Does this have on mental health? Yeah, so going, going further into that piece around anxiety and depression, the, the anticipation starts early. So this isn’t just like this week. Like I will say for me it’s really hitting me maybe end of last week, this week it’s hitting me, but really by and large it starts in November. We start seeing the aisles, so you’re just trying to do your shopping and then all of a sudden you see the Christmas trees are coming out. And you’re like, oh my gosh, there’s ads and there’s all of these things and so it starts early because you’re like, wait, I’m here, I have 15 minutes. I’m just trying to make dinner tonight, but, but the messages I’m getting are it’s time to prepare now and then you don’t do it. So now it’s December 15th and you’re like, hm, I haven’t done this, I haven’t done this, I haven’t even thought about stocking stuffers and so these are things again that burden us and they start much earlier, so like it’s two months in advance of where it starts. I am so proud of myself. I actually said no to something recently because you know you’ve got the teacher gifts and you’ve got the parties and you’ve got the theme weeks and my kids go to different schools and there was just so much going on and then they wanted to add like this book Secret Santa thing and I was like I cannot do it. I just can’t add another thing to my list. So what are some tips that you have for anyone that’s like overwhelmed by the holiday season? Yes, well, one of them starts with that. You’re gonna have to say no to some things and it is a big deal. I think if somebody’s listening right now they might think like how hard is that? It actually is really hard for many women so say yes to the things that are like a resounding yes and say no to things that you even feel on the fence or you’re only doing because you’re guilty you’re feeling guilty that’s one of them. The other one is learn how to ask for help. So ask for help and learn how to accept the help. That’s the part that’s really hard like, hey, do you think. That you know, maybe you say to your partner, do you think that you could go out and get candy for the stocking stuff or can you, or here’s a list of things, can you do these things and then actually allow them to do it. That’s a pretty hard for a lot of moms, um, and another one is to really limit your social media consumption. That’ll get you, that will get you with whether it’s like, oh my gosh, but this thing is on sale, and even though I’m done shopping, but maybe I should get it, or look at this house, look at the table. That’s, that’s where I’m at. Oh my gosh, the table. I need to set it a certain way. Like there’s so many things where I’m like, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop. But that’s what’s on my mind. How am I gonna right now I haven’t hung my wreaths on my cabinet doors and that’s bothering me. But does anybody notice? I don’t know, right, right, right, but it’s, it’s the expectation that is in your head of what this should be, and you want to make that perfect for you, yes, and it has a real toll, so I. To protect my sleep too, right? So when it’s whatever time I wanna go to sleep for me it’s maybe 10:30 instead of going and going doing one more thing which I can rationalize is good, you know, really setting a boundary and saying no to that, um, and doing it another time, but we, we’ve got to keep talking about it because it really impacts women quite negatively. The amount of sleepless nights that I’ve had lately just going through my list of things and every time I like cross. So many things off. I have a whole new list the next day. — This
— is turning into real life therapy for Corey right now. Well, honestly, me too. We’re going to send things over to Keely for — check your forecast and we’re going to
— continue. I bet you feels the same way. Oh my gosh, it’s chaos. It is chaos in my household. If I was to compare myself to the social media Christmas preps, I would probably feel like a failure. So yes, I get that. Do not go on social media.

Dr. Sheryl Ziegler shares tips for managing holiday stress.