This does not stem from some age-related illness, but from the pressure of supporting two children who are approaching 40 yet remain financially dependent on her.
Her son, 39, constantly hops between jobs to “find himself,” leaving the burden of supporting his wife and children on his mother. Her daughter, 33, works as a freelancer without a regular income but with a habit of relying on others.
She and her husband run the household of nine with their combined pension of less than VND15 million (US$600).
She has sold her gold, drained her savings and borrowed money from everywhere to “pay the grandchildren’s school fees.”
Prolonged stress caused by this state of affairs meant she was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and a risk of severe depression by doctors at Mai Huong Day Psychiatric Hospital.
Hoa, 62, does not live with his children but has never known peace. Every time a call comes from a stranger, his heart tightens. Often the voice at the other end would say: “Tell your son to pay his debt, or the family will suffer.”
It used to be tens of millions of dong before becoming hundreds of millions. His son, nearly 40, is constantly in debt, and his aged parents have to pay it off.
Hoa is wary of answering the phone and opening the front door, and jumps awake at night if there is the sound of a vehicle stopping in front of the house.
He has lost weight, become irritable and forgetful and has palpitations and chronic insomnia. Doctors have warned him of depression due to chronic stress.
Adult children still living off their parents are causing a crisis for the elderly. Illustration photo by Unsplash
Psychologist Nguyen Thi Huong Lan, head of the psychology department at Bac Ha International University’s BHIU Training Institute, says adult children remaining financially dependent on their parents is becoming a silent crisis among the elderly.
Many people aged 55-70 seek counseling due to prolonged insomnia, chronic anxiety about money, exhaustion, and mild to moderate depression, she says.
There are no statistics on the number of adults in Vietnam living off their parents, but, according to the General Statistics Office, the number of unemployed people of working age increased by more than 222,000 in the third quarter of 2025.
Globally, more than a third of adults in the U.K. aged 35-44 still live on parental support, according to the Independent. It is not just young people living at home without full-time jobs; adults expected to be financially independent also need parental help.
In South Korea, a 2022 survey by the Institute for Health and Social Affairs of 14,000 adults showed that 49.7% of people in their 30s and 48.8% of people in their 40s were unmarried and living with their parents due to tight economic conditions.
The British use the term NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) to refer to those who do not contribute labor to society or participate in education, detaching themselves from social competition and living entirely parasitically on their families. In France, they are called “Kangaroo children,” carried by their parents even into adulthood.
In China, adults who cannot be financially independent and need their parents’ protection are called “giant babies”.
Explaining the root cause, Lan says many parents equate their self-worth with sacrifice, believing they are not allowed to rest while their children are struggling. This psychology, combined with the fear of being alienated by their children and the pressure of “saving face” in society when children are not successful, makes them voluntarily become unconditional financial “suppliers.” They try to compensate their children with material things, mistakenly thinking that letting go means pushing their children into a dead end.
However, the price for this over-protection is the health and longevity of the parents themselves. Medically, a state of constant anxiety stimulates the body to continuously produce cortisol, causing immune deficiency and increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease, blood pressure issues, and diabetes.
Socially, excessive pampering creates a passive, selfish generation lacking survival skills and the ability to face difficulties. When aging parents pass away, these “giant babies” will become a double burden on the social security system.
To solve the problem, experts recommend that parents establish strict financial boundaries. Instead of unconditional support, parents should switch to a “limited support” mechanism, tied to specific commitments from their children regarding independence, and absolutely refuse to pay personal debts on their behalf.
A frank dialogue about health and financial limits is a necessary step to restore family order. Old-age depression often does not manifest through tears but through silent endurance; therefore, early identification of signs such as insomnia and personality changes for timely medical intervention is crucial to protecting the quality of life for the elderly.