For some Black women, the hesitation to embrace antidepressants isn’t just about side effects— it’s about a deeply rooted fear of losing oneself to a pill. Former video vixen Melyssa Ford admitted she felt that weight intimately following her mother’s death and was “too scared” to try clinical prescriptions despite the crushing symptoms of her depression.
“I’m battling Depression. Crushing, malignant Depression,” the model admitted in an Instagram post in September 2018. That vulnerable confession came two years before her beloved mother, Oksana Barbara Raisa Ford, died from colon cancer in May 2020.
On Wednesday’s episode of “Lovers by Shan,” Ford detailed being “diagnosed with major depressive disorder” after her mother’s death. She added, “It was like a meteor hit my world, my earth.”
Paralyzed by a deep-seated fear of traditional antidepressants, Ford initially bypassed clinical prescriptions. It wasn’t until 2022 that she discovered an alternative lifeline: microdosing psilocybin, the practice of taking incredibly small, sub-hallucinogenic doses of “magic mushrooms” to help improve mood and mental health.
“A couple of friends talked to me about microdosing, and I was a little intimidated by it, but I started doing that with therapy, and that really worked,” Ford recalled. The podcaster added that with “intense therapy,” her “sense of dignity grew.”
Ford continued: “It was when my dignity was challenged that I realized how important it was and how fiercely I need to guard it, because in dignity you find self-love.” The former “Joe Budden Podcast” cohost isn’t the only Black woman who has opted for alternative help for depression.
Singer Keri Hilson, who has been open about dealing with depression at the height of her career, described her experience with shrooms on the “Angie Martinez IRL” podcast in October.
“I met a doctor who assisted me with shrooms, medicinal-grade shrooms, psychedelics. I can say without a doubt that I did like two macro doses,” Hilson said. “I was very, very nervous, but then I learned that there are retreats all around the world for shrooms being used medicinally as a healing modality, and all I can say is it worked for me.”
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