How I overcame depression by just sitting around | Jonathan Schoenmaker | TEDxDelft
Jonathan Schoenmaker struggled with depression. With the best intentions, his friends and family would try to help by saying all the wrong things. In the end, Jonathan found the best way for him to experience happiness. As it turned out, what he needed most wasn’t what everyone told him it would be. Jonathan Schoenmaker: a 20 year old Dutch physics student at the TU Delft and winner of the TEDx Delft Award. Jonathan’s talk is about his experience of suffering years of depression and the steps one can actually take to try and help people with this serious disease This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
47 Comments
Super click baity/misleading/decieving title. Clearly it wasn't "just sitting around." It was at the least choosing to accept the offered socialization. This isn't available for everyone. Let's not forget that alcohol is a depressant that makes depression worse for many people. Community is dying off. Many of us put in GREAT amounts of effort to find reliable humans for socialization. Or to find our tribe. I am very happy for you to have had friends like that around yourself who wanted to be there for you and to encourage you! That's a privelage I wish I could build for myself and others who can't find it. I wish I knew how to build a community that is NOT based on religion/politics/ or a specific hobby. Perhaps one based on mental health/self awareness? I'm lost and open to suggestion.
You still sound depressed mate
Good sign your not depressed
I admit I'm not even going to listen to what this person has to say. I know they truly want to help but the problem is when people say "if you would just" or "this is how I conquered my depression" it makes me (us) feel that once again we have failed. After 22 years I firmly believe there's no way to conquer it. But I can win most of the battles and in the end I will win the war what is a daily struggle something that's going to live with me since I was 47 and I am now 70.
So please anyone who comes to these type of sites and says oh I'm going to try that and I will be better tomorrow…. We do not have a broken leg. We don't have heart disease. We don't have diabetes. These things aren't necessarily straight up we know how to fix it but they are more definitive than our diagnosis.
I have had to accept the fact that no one lives in my head but me. My family loves me but they don't live in my head. I've had many caring doctors in a whole lot more uncaring doctors but education and degrees doesn't allow them in my head.
All you and I can do just hang on until the next day and the next day and the next day until this particular dark cloud leaves and we start all over again
Remember that "TEDx" is where people pay for the privilege of getting on stage. They're not necessarily invited.
Depression isn't about things not working out, or things not going well. Even hacks like Jordan Peters will say that the problem with depressed people is that they are depressed about everything.
But this is what makes depression so devious; the fact that DEPRESSION IS ABOUT NOTHING.
I had a great life for a long time, and the depression NEVER went away. Having a good or bad life has NOTHING to do with depression at all.
Remember that receiving advice with the word "just" at the front is advice that is untested and will fail. The word "just" serves to minimize the situation, as well as how to attempt to deal with the situation. In other words, "just" is a warning that someone has no idea what they are talking about.
The presenter here is/was fortunate to have actual friends who cared, who set something up, and who contacted him to participate. Those of us who have MDD don't have this option, as we don't have friends.
Sounds like the presenter found a way to relieve depression for ONE AFTERNOON. Were it me, it would be an afternoon worth having. But it would NOT cure my depression, or remove it, or even keep it away for a week.
For me, it would only work during the time when it's in play, when it's actually doing something. When that stops, the door is opened for depression once again. To be really clear, the depression does not come back because that day is over. It' NOT sadness, and I'd dare say that it's a case of an ABSENCE of sadness.
The depression will be there because it's there. It's like being in water up to your neck [real life], then stepping out of the water for a while [hang out with friends], and then return back to the neck-deep water to resume life. The depressed person will ALWAYS be in water up to their neck, even if they dry out for an afternoon. When the afternoon is over, it's back to the water.
The depression is not caused by the water or the situations. The depression IS THE WATER. It's always there. It never dries up or goes away.
Remember that the depression has nothing to do with ANYTHING, it is not caused by anything, it can be alleviated temporarily by some situations, and it will return to stay with you until you die.
Oh dear. If only this method worked-I would have been cured decades ago 😅.
le me with, no friends to talk to.
Not going to lie, I am all lonely, never shared this anywhere accept to this YouTube comment…
My parents keep in arguing on same topic again and again since i was born.
My mom and brother don't have good relation,
My mom always says that she is here cause i am the only one here…
My dad always asks me to focus on studies (How can i focus with so much stress they put on me! Its not the books but their arguments)
I have no friends to have a good laugh with, and rarely saw my mom laughing…
My dad just doesn't know how to handle misunderstandings…
My mom is always depressed in her own thoughts (Mostly, cause' she takes small things seriously) Which somewhat ruins my day too…
When i tries to share my feelings with my mom and ask her to control feelings like me, she says "I am a boy, and boys can control…"
I can't even type what i am feeling.
And you stranger, reading this, i guess you also can't understand me…
I just want a better life…
At the end, here i am all alone…
Not saying that doesn't work. Certainly does, for a time at least. Then people start wanting you to hang out more often, do stuff you don't remotely want to do (or not stick around places you want to linger at a bit longer, or vice versa they linger where you want to keep moving) / ask weird stuff/ make little jabs at any lapse in judgement you may have.
Being a loner sucks sometimes, but compared to being in bad company… which in a sizeable group of friends, there's bound to be one bad apple at least, and misunderstandings. Some of us don't need those potential downsides, thankfully have some family to hang with sometimes, and have enough sensitivity that solo adventures can still be worthwhile
Severe clinical depression is like the death of the soul before the body. You feel like a walking dead person.
If anyone has experienced insomnia on top of their depression they know how brutal that is because you can’t think clearly and it makes your depression worse. If you are someone who sleeps more then be grateful because honestly you don’t want insomnia. Depression when it gets to a certain level is very scary because you wonder how much more you can take. Very very scary at its worst
I really do not want to die, but by all means i hate living and i dont want to be around here. I dont mind dissapearing. Thats how am feeling right now. I wish i had friends to just sit around me, but no one want to be around someone who is going through alot. No one. Its isolated here, its so lonely.
I guess never man
every one is diferent no me
I don't have
I guess
Yh this doesn’t work if you’re broke
I GOT YOU THE SOLUTION, GUARANTEE IN MY OWN RECOVERY
DO THIS ONE TIME :
FOCUS IN THE MOMENT PRESENT AND UNDERSTAND THERE IS NOTHING WHO BOTHERS YOU
FINISHED!!
IT WILL TAKE TIME WORKING IN YOUR BRAIN TO HAVE THE EFFECTS OF RECOVERY!!!
Um sick of hearing about your friends or your family when you can't even bring yourself to be around anybody
Not sure if alcohol is a great antidepressant
No talk therapy. No SSRIs. No Benzos. After about 4 years of moderate depression, it just lifted. Yours might, too.
Couple if friend…. Ok this video not for me. I realized most of the friendships you have to maintain. Unless u live in ur homecity, forget about it. Once u loose ir job most of friends are gone, and friends u had are too busy in their own life
Friends… lol
Hey..can we make a whatsapp group of people suffering the same??..It would help a lot
this sounds more like loneliness rather than actual depression, although they're very correlated. I don't think drinking beers with people around you would help to solve the core root of the problem
here is the program to fight depression: take your meds, exercise daily for 40 minutes, take sunlight and vitamin d, take omega 3 supplements, you may add other supplements that fight depression, eat healthy foods that fight depression and avoid the unhealthy ones that cause it, and be patient it may take a month to see first signs of recovery, and some more to fully recover from it
Basically all this guy is saying is that if you’re depression, use distraction to stop thinking about it. That is the quintessential American thing of kicking things under the rug instead of taking care of the root problem. This is the most destructive advice someone can give. There’s always a reason behind everything. Depression is telling you something is wrong. It’s built into our design.
I am currently battling and feel like I'm stuck in this sadness and depression
I don't have friends. No one wants to hang out with me.
Am I depressed? *Guts team starts playing*🎶🎶🎶
People with depression, PTSD, anxiety usually lack THOSE friends. I was a great friend to everyone, yet as soon as my life collapsed, I realized the phone stopped calling. They stopped reaching out. And even if I reached out, they let me know, that there's not place in their lives for me. They were people whom I helped overcome depression, people, who lived with my family, when they studied in my town, people, whom my family helped to get money for their education…. . I believe it's true what this young man says – we need people, who will treat us good. Who will see us as normal, who will hang out with us just because. Who will call us just to say, "Hey, I've been thinking of you!".
Reach out to people, guys! Chat with an elderly neighbour, chat with a cashier, talk to a stranger in a bus stop. People need it more than you can imagine! Hugs to all of you!
physics student… no wonder he is depressed when he knows how the world works 🙂
I hate when people tell me, “well that’s life”
Itsbhard to beat depression if your autistic. As you cant fix your defecits. Amd lack of social ability and weird and awkward mannerisms.
Your presentation spoke volumes. I identified with it 100%. Each catagory and the pain and true suffering I experienced going through all those ways from people (who truly loved me) didn’t realize how alone it all made me feel. Just presence was and still is at 66 that truly gave and gives me some sense of solace. Thank you for creating a concise and contrite dialogue which was something was able to do at 15 years old and wish I could have then and until now. God bless you. Cheers
I've had depression for the past 10 years and I'm only 23. Wondering if it'll be there my whole life.
Yup just sit there and forget it, that’s gonna help. Typical 2024 ideology, God help us
This is so not helpful.
"I had an amazing childhood, great friends, girlfriend and good grades".
Bro, you are a weak, selfish and cowardice man. I don't feel bad for you at all. Dude, those of us that are depressed feel depressed because we didn't have a good childhood, didn't have great friends, didn't have girlfriends and didn't get good grades.
You're just a narcissist and coward – a poor excuse for a man.
You've stollen the valor of depressed people and made a mockery of yourself and the disease.
You're a real pos.
In my experience I understood that, you can’t always rely on your friends. Also because some people don’t have close friends. And even if you had them, always using them and depending on them in order to be happy is not what wisdom says.
For myself I discovered one spiritual tradition called “NonDuality” which explains why and from where does all sufferings come (including depression). And until one doesn’t solve that root cause of all sufferings, things like depression, anxiety, stress, all psychological problems will not go away.
you can overcome depression by faith, but you have to learn the wisdom of reception first….
I'm the total opposite. I don't like being around people and getting ti close to people. I feel miserable after I'm around them.
”Depression” is merely a stress condition.
today one of my friend's gf commit suicide just because of a fight between them.I am mentally depressed by this tragic event.Cannot sleep,eat and work.Its my request before taking any step toward suicide just think about your parents who spend their whole life for you and all your near and dears.These are just temporary states which ends soon.
Depression takes on a whole new turn when you do, in fact, want to die
This works for someone who has friends that ‘get it’ … very rare indeed. Most people want to isolate. Like me.
now this made me more depressed
i dont have any of the option he got and my friends are even worst than me
Not helpful for someone with chronic depression who does not have such friends. My closest friend says seeing things like I don’t mind too much. Hear you that should depression a little bit.
😂