A dad-of-seven from Salford has shared how he managed to beat his £200,000 gambling addiction
Jerry McCann from Salford
A dad from Salford has revealed how he managed to beat his gambling addiction after loosing around £200,000 – including £15,000 in a single weekend. Jerry McCann says gambling first entered his life when he was just 15 years old.
The 38-year-old estimates that gambling cost him around £200,000 over the years and that the experience pushed him to the lowest point of his life before he finally turned things around.
What began with small bets on horse and dog races in betting shops slowly escalated over the years when Jerry discovered online gambling.
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Jerry has been gamble free for six months now
He told NeedtoKnow: “At the beginning, it felt social and fun. You think you’re in control and you don’t realise what it can turn into.
“Over time it slowly took over. What started as small bets became bigger and more frequent. Then I discovered online slots, and that’s when things really spiralled.
“With online gambling, it’s constant. You don’t have to leave the house, it’s on your phone 24 hours a day. Before you know it you’re chasing losses and trying to win back money that’s already gone.”
At his lowest point, Jerry, who has been gambling-free for six months, says the addiction pushed him to the brink mentally. The dad-of-seven said: “I estimate I’ve probably lost around £200,000 over the years. When I say that number out loud it still shocks me. At my worst I was gambling every single day.
“Sometimes multiple times a day. The amount varied but it could be hundreds or even thousands chasing losses. When you’re in that mindset, you stop thinking logically. You’re not gambling to win anymore.
“You’re gambling to escape the feeling of losing. Honestly it made me feel sick to my stomach. The shame, the guilt, the regret. Looking back and realising how much damage gambling had done to my life and the people around me was one of the hardest feelings I’ve ever experienced.”
Jerry and partner Holly
One of the most devastating moments came when he took out a £10,000 payday loan, while already living with a £5,000 overdraft.
He said: “At the time, I convinced myself it was my chance to turn things around and win big. In my head I told myself I was going to gamble a bit, win some money and sort everything out.
“That’s the lie gambling addiction tells you. Instead, I lost the entire £15,000 in one weekend. Most of it went on online slots and betting, and the scary part is how quickly it can disappear.
“Thousands can go in minutes when you’re spinning slots or chasing losses. You keep thinking the next spin will be the one that brings it back. Before I knew it, the money was gone.
“When it hit me what I’d done I felt completely broken. There’s no other way to describe it. I remember sitting there with this horrible, empty feeling.
“Shame, panic, regret, fear. I knew I’d just made my situation ten times worse. You start asking yourself how you’re going to explain it, how you’re going to repay it, how you’ve let yourself get to this point.”
Jerry also admits the addiction drove him to behaviour he never imagined he would do. He said: “There were definitely times where I couldn’t afford basic essentials because of gambling. When addiction has hold of you the gambling always comes first, even when it shouldn’t.
Jerry with his family
“Bills pile up, debts grow and life becomes constant stress. I had serious debt hanging over me and the pressure of knowing I owed money was horrible. There were times I was completely broke because of it. Living with constant stress, constantly chasing money, constantly lying to yourself.
“It affects every part of your life. Your sleep, your mental health, your relationships. Looking back now it’s frightening how deep I was in it. Gambling had me doing things completely against my character like borrowing money and asking people for small amounts just to place another bet.
“I also did things I’m not proud of like borrowing money and even asking people for as little as £1 in the bookies just to place another bet. Gambling drains everything. That’s what addiction does. It strips away your control.”
Jerry took his first step to recovery in September last year by admitting he had a serious problem and removing access to gambling where he could.
Like many recovering addicts, he experienced relapses along the way but he says life today is “completely different”. Speaking publicly about his addiction has also helped him stay accountable.
He said: “In the past, I relapsed every couple of weeks. That’s the reality of addiction. Recovery isn’t always a straight line. But right now I’m six months gambling free, which is the longest I’ve ever gone and I’m proud of that. Now, my life is clearer, calmer and I’m finally building a future instead of destroying it.”