Children living with a parent who struggles with their mental health can face unique challenges.
Research shows that children who grow up in a home with a parent with mental illness tend to have problems related to their social-emotional development (Honda et al., 2023).
Stigma by association can occur for children of parents with mental illness (COPMI). Stigma can be internalized and even contribute to the intergenerational transmission of mental health issues (Dobener et al., 2022). COPMI can feel burdened by their parents’ unpredictable emotions, and parentification or role reversal can occur as the child attempts to take care of the parent.
As children approach late adolescence, they must navigate this stage’s developmental task of individuation by choosing self-sacrifice and prioritizing caregiving over their own needs, finding a balance between caring for their parent and themselves, or severing ties to protect their autonomy (Tonina Liriel Aurel, 2025).
COPMI are also more likely to inherit mental health issues themselves. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder are particularly heritable, according to genetic research (Nield, 2025).
Picture book author Lisl Detlefsen’s beautiful book, My Mom is Like a Kite, speaks directly to the unique experience of growing up with a parent who struggles with their mental health, offering validation and hope for a brighter future for kids and their parents.
Q: Share a bit about your background and what inspired you to write My Mom Is Like a Kite.
Lisl Detlefsen (LD): I’ve watched several friends navigate the mental health struggles of parents through the years, particularly a close friend in college who had a parent with bipolar disorder. It created a lot of stress and anxiety for her, and I thought about how that must’ve felt for her as a young child.
I’ve also struggled with my own mental health and am acutely aware of how I never want my children to feel like it is their burden to manage or their job to regulate my emotions. That being said, I don’t think hiding things like this from kids helps, and it rarely works. A lot of kids are highly attuned to emotion and can intuit when something is wrong.
Q: How do the metaphors you use in the book capture a child’s experience of living with a parent who struggles with their mental health?
LD: Water is such a powerful force of nature, both essential for life and capable of destruction. Thinking of a human as a boat taking on water when experiencing sadness or depression felt like a natural fit, and soaring in the air like a kite felt like the counterpoint to sinking in water.
Q: When we talk about mental illness, we rarely think about the impact of a parent or caregiver’s mental health on a child. Why is this important to bring to the conversation on mental health?
LD: I believe most children are aware when a parent or caregiver is struggling. Bringing that struggle into the light through conversation makes it less scary and more understandable.
Struggling with your mental health doesn’t inherently make you a bad parent—it makes you human. It was really important to me that the mom’s struggles were depicted realistically alongside her also showing love, concern, and compassion for her child, as these are not mutually exclusive.
Q: What do you believe we, as a society, can do to better support children whose parents and caregivers struggle with mental health issues?
LD: We need to make sure kids have access to mental health professionals. In many communities, the waitlists for appointments can be upward of five months or longer. That’s a long time to wait when you need help, for yourself or your child.
In addition, while I think getting help has become more normalized, we can continue to do more. We don’t blame people who have a broken leg or a sinus infection for requiring medical intervention to get better. Needing help for mental health should not come with guilt or shame.
Q: What coping skills help the child in My Mom Is Like a Kite, and how might learning these coping strategies early help them to mitigate any mental health concerns they may inherit?
LD: The child in the book is helped through therapy, using more traditional talk therapy alongside playing games and art. She finds particular comfort in drawing, and even brings her mother into this process.
I think of these types of strategies as tools in a tool belt. It’s pretty hard to use a hammer or even know what one is if you’ve never seen one before. If you know therapy or creating art or taking a walk outside helps you regulate emotions and handle mental health challenges when you’re younger, that makes it easier to return to these tools if and when you need them as an adult.
Q: What do you hope young readers take away from spending time with My Mom Is Like a Kite?
LD: I want young readers to understand that it’s OK to ask for help when you need it. I also want them to feel a sense of hope.
Hope is the most powerful tool we have as humans.