CORNING, N.Y. (WENY) — With one week left in New York’s legislative session, a Corning family is racing against the clock to see a mental health bill signed into law — one inspired by the loss of their son.
Matthew Tobia was 30 years old when he died by suicide on Aug. 7, 2021, after years of battling addiction and schizophrenia. His parents, Joe and Elisa Tobia, have since channeled their grief into advocacy, pushing for legislation they hope will prevent other families from enduring the same loss.
Matthew was born in 1991 and graduated from Corning East High School in 2009 before going on to play lacrosse at the University of Delaware. A shoulder injury that fall required surgery, and resulted in a prescription his father says changed his life.
“Behavior we saw changed in the spring season,” Joe Tobia said. “He dropped off from the team, dropped out of school. I mean, typical addict. That was the beginning of some bad things happening.”
After seeking help, Matthew eventually achieved sobriety, but a new battle emerged around age 25 when paranoia and auditory hallucinations began taking over his mind. He was later diagnosed with schizophrenia.
“One of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do in my life — I went down one night and spent the night in his apartment. He thought we were being surrounded the entire night by people who were trying to get him and me to do meth,” Tobia said. “He was convinced they were out there. ‘Dad, they’re out there.’ It’s a god awful thing for any parent to go through and see their son go through that. There was no telling your son that’s not real. He didn’t want to hear that.”
The family says at times when Matthew sought mental health treatment, he was turned away from facilities, or had his condition dismissed doctors.
“We had one doctor argue with me when I said, ‘Have you treated the voices that he’s hearing?’” Tobia said. “He argued that he’s not hearing voices. He’s hearing voices — and he argued with me.”
After Matthew’s death, Joe Tobia began researching similar cases and discovered legislation in Maryland designed to investigate gaps in mental health care services.
“The bill investigates barriers, it looks at denials, it looks at the path of these individuals prior to their death to find out — where did we miss them?” Tobia said.
He later found a comparable bill in New York, introduced in 2021, aimed at examining barriers to mental health services in rural areas and identifying where the system failed individuals prior to their deaths. Various versions of the bill have failed to become law. It currently sits in the Rules Committee in the Assembly and the Mental Health Committee in the Senate, with a deadline of June 5 to pass both chambers and reach Gov. Kathy Hochul’s desk.
State Sen. Tom O’Mara of Big Flats and Assemblyman Phil Palmesano of Corning are among those in support the effort.
“We certainly think that it is, and it is a bipartisan effort. There’s nothing partisan about suicide,” O’Mara said.
“Time is not on our side, but that’s not a barrier that can’t be overcome if everyone wants to agree and move forward on this legislation,” Palmesano said.
Regardless of the outcome this session, Joe Tobia says he is not stopping fighting for Matthew, and others like him.
“I’m in it for the long haul — I’m only 69 years old,” he said. “I know I’ve got a good 10 years in me left. Every year will be different. I’ll find a way to do it, but I’m not going to stop.”
If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day by calling or texting 988.
