The Biggest Mistake Parents Make
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29 Comments
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Nowadays kids get exposed to porn at 10-14 years old. I think normalizing these content at such young age makes it really difficult to understand the harm that it can cause you on the long run
What video is this?
While you're technically correct … a kid's answer to "do you want to spend 17 hours in a day on TikTok" could very well be "yes".
Problem is parents aren't loving and accepting or patient as they used to be to have that conversation. They just ban things in their home instead of explaining it or get offended at their kids being upset or numb.
100% this. Regulate all you want, but if the dangers are not made clear, children will still go through with it and try to bypass those regulations. When you disallow something, make aware of the reason to this, so your child can properly correlate the dangers to the actions, and understand the importance of finding that alternative. This is the nature of children, and this is only becoming more and more apparent and prevelant with the modern age of technology.
17th
If you think that's the biggest mistake parents make, you must know very little about parenting. The biggest mistakes are made way before you can have a conversation with your child.
Generally speaking, the earlier the mistake, the bigger the impact it has on your child's life, and the more difficult it will be to correct it. And the sad thing is, that most parents don't have a clue that they are making those early mistakes.
What if the kid doesn't care, though, and fights tooth and nail to have the phone by their side ALL THE TIME because they need to be able to reach their friends (or their friends need to be able to reach them) 24/7 in case there is a crisis.
No matter how we try to explain that something like that is not on her, or any of her friends, to be there like a suicide hotline, because it is WAY TOO MUCH stress for any of them to handle, and that there ARE hotlines just for those situations. And that we're there if she needs to talk..
But we get called unfair and authoritarian and complotists for suggesting that she leave her phone in the kitchen at night to help with her sleep hygiene, like an addict lashing out.
These kids may hear the reasons behind rules or suggestion, but if they chose not to care, or their brain just doesn't connect the dots because their feelings are overriding it all, not doing anything is also not an option.
I got my phone at 14 but before then i used to draw all the time even if it was mid, once i got my phone and watched yt i was able to get that same dopamine without the "oh this drawing looks like crap at the end" so i spent all my free time on yt, and my parents would always say why dont you draw anymore and just look at your phone all the time and would say im werid , but once i hit 18 and started working ,i started to think about what i actually want to do for a living , what am i good at? Nothing i realized i spent all my time on my phone in my teens that i didnt do any hobbies/ wasnt good at anything and i got into a depression, now a year later (19) i went back into drawing because of artwork that inspired me and i realized that even though i still sucked at it, i love drawing and i like putting in the effort even if it turns out bad, so i decided to learn art seriously, unfortunately because of ai i dont have much of a future but i cant see myself doing anything else rn, if only my parents have told me though that "screen time is useless because it only temporarily gives you dopamine compared to hobbies that in long term do same thing but are useful and be made into a job" instead of "its werid that your on your phone" then i would have quit phone time alot sooner 🫠
wdym its belt time after knowing that
And then what happens is the Streisand Effect. People that are decided to have kids, really need to think if they are capable of making a safe space and environment for the upbringing of the children. Specially on the 6-8 first years, they are fundamental on how the children will grow up, how they will think, how will they take actions. And it will all depend of nature and nurture. Thank you once again Dr. K for explaining such essential things, people need to be aware of such fundamental points.
My mom always explained why for everything. We had almost no issues around stuff like this.
but then why do parental controls exist then
Imagine actually getting down to the same level as your kid to explain to them and help them understand why. Pffft, that sounds like sensible good parenting. Obviously punishing your kids over and over again and expecting them to learn on their own without any actual conversation is the correct way. /s
Exactly. It’s literally and addiction that started as children and they get blamed…
A penny short, a day late
Regulations don’t make things safer or better. Teaching proper use and the harms of misusing things will always yield better results
I guess mental health is a bit like firearms 😂😅 taking improper care and neglecting it can lead to harm in yourself and others
Having your teenager sit down with a parent and talk about how to talk to the other gender is highly unrealistic. I think the Doc will realize this some years down the road when his kids are at that age 😂.
Also, who says that the parents have good knowledge about this? Especially since there are usually ~30ish years between them and their kids. The way people talk to each other changes drastically over such a long time period, as do the rules of engagement in general.
well it depends on the age. At 2 years old I would limit. At 12 years old yah of course I would be explaining to them why and they would understand.
It’s more than just regulation. What’s important is ACTUALLY SOCIALIZING your kids.
Both my parents watch TikToks and shorts daily and I don’t at all 😂
FUCK YEAH! That was I said for sooooooo long and I got a lot of "You're not a parent, your opinion doesn't matter" '^^
I understand where the feeling comes from but I didn't always know how to reply. I should really post more! xD
GREAT video!
Its actually opposite in my case, i need to have a conversation with my parents on whether they want to live spending 17 hrs on youtube for rest of their life
I sometimes wonder if the psychologists world view is self-selectively shaped by the clients.
Wait so how do I talk to girls??
I'd still argue both is good. I'm actually thankful I had a 1h ish cap. When I was 17 parents decided I was a big boy who could self-regulate and frankly I didn't game that long either. But at 19-20ish I had an existential crisis and depression and my technology use got madly out of control. It still kinda is cause I have problems that need a "fire from all cylinders approach" to quote Dr K, and I believe in my hearts of hearts I don't deserve the improvement ("shame is the raid boss of emotions"). I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong about my opinion of mysef lol. God, I need help.
Where is this excerpt from?
This assumes though that just because you know something is bad for you they'll stop doing it. Which I highly doubt 13 year olds will.
I mean, even adults don't stop doing things they clearly know is wrong.