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Behavioral Activation- How to Get Motivated to Do Stuff that You Don’t Want to Do. Anxiety Course 30



Behavioral Activation- How to Get Motivated to Do Stuff that You Don’t Want to Do. Anxiety Course 30

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In this video you’ll learn about the mental block that holds so many people back in anxiety and especially depression, and the essential skill to break that cycle. It’s the key to getting motivated. It’s called behavioral activation. It’s all about getting yourself to do stuff that’s good for you but you don’t feel like it. So in this video you’ll learn how to break the cycle of depression or immobilization, with behavioral activation.

When you’re depressed you don’t really feel like doing anything that will help you, not only does it sound like a lot of work and you’re exhausted, but also, you just don’t feel like it. You don’t feel motivated.

-“If I don’t feel like being social, so I won’t go out today”
– “If I feel anxious about having a hard conversation, it’s probably not worth the effort”
-Getting showered and dressed sounds exhausting, so I’m just going to stay in my pajamas all day, but then when I’m invited to do something – I feel insecure because I didn’t get dressed so I don’t go, and when I go to the store I know I look slobby so when I run into someone I know I don’t talk to them because I’m embarrassed, then I go home and feel even worse than before.

Behaviors lead to a cycle of lower mood
It’s easy to see this tendency we have when we’re anxious or depressed, we tend to pull back, to withdraw from things, including stuff we used to enjoy. And this makes you feel worse, and that perpetuates the cycle, making you withdraw more. And your motivation decreases.
I think people always assume the thought or emotion leads to the behavior, but behaviors also lead to emotions.

During Covid, lockdowns changed our behaviors – we spent more time alone, we couldn’t go out with friends, and many of the activities that brought us pleasure were out of reach. And, by simply changing our behavior, many people felt a change in mood. Rates of depression and anxiety approximately doubled to the point where around 40% of people reported symptoms and many people attempted to cope with substance abuse. This change in mental health had nothing to do with our inherent biology, it had to do with our behaviors.

I feel sad so I won’t go out, so then I feel sadder, so then I won’t go out more, so then I feel sadder.

But if simply suppressing behaviors causes mood changes, simply adding in behaviors can also cause mood changes. Have you ever gone out with friends, even though you weren’t feeling like it, and by the time you were done, you were feeling way better?

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life’s direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

View 47 Comments

47 Comments

  3. @promi9526 on

    God ive been feeling so alone and frustrated with myself and when i clicked on this video it felt like this woman was an angel that knew me personally ive never related to anothers advice as i do your and then i look at the comments and i see others talk about struggles just like mine and giving advice, in a world full of judgement and people not understanding how much you're trying but 'failing' this has just melted my heart thank you everyone!! Ily!!

  7. @EmilyRey-qo4cx on

    I'm late for work and I'm sitting watching this hoping I get a bit of motivation to move even though I know I would feel better if I got up and started my day but it feels so hard to start, and I don't know the reason why I'm acting like this I wasn't like this before but I will try to get up and do some stuff

  9. @lauriepadecky8055 on

    Something that has been helping me so much is to remember that “My days define my life”

    I want my days to align with what I want my life to be and it spurs me to take some kind of action every day.

  11. @KGchannel01 on

    Really helpful thoughts here! But a kinda funny confession, I noticed a feeling in me just looking at the thumbnail for this video like, "ugh, I don't want to hear it"

  13. @madwilliamflint on

    Heh. I literally have been trying to get myself to do stuff today and this link popped up in my feed. inSTEAD of watching it (now) I'm gonna go do some stuff and cue this for later.

    🙂

  14. @momcman on

    If you don’t have motivation to do the thing that you don’t wanna do, then what gets you to start doing it? Do you use a carrot or a stick? I don’t want to use a stick anymore. For most of my life, I got myself to do something by telling myself I’m bad if I don’t. Now that I’ve stopped trying to guilt myself into action, I do almost nothing. I don’t find anything in this video that tells me how to start moving when you don’t feel like you can. If you don’t wait for motivation, then what gets you started? I feel no sense of accomplishment doing very basic normal things, like scooping the litter box. Because I feel no accomplishment, I have no motivation to do it the next time. I see comments from people about taking small actions and feeling pleased about it. I can clean up the dishes in the sink, give myself a pat on the back, and return to the sink to find a new pile of dishes within hours. That’s life.

  16. @Mooseily-p6e on

    Such a helpful video Emma thank you ❤ Just had a thought – I love how when it’s in the context of a pandemic, anxiety and depression are environmentally caused, but when it’s chronic childhood adversity (which, as someone who’s survived both, I would argue is way worse), it becomes a disorder that may have genetic roots

  18. @cardinalgin on

    T-shirt please !😉

    Seriously, Emma, these are the best advice for easing into feeling better and accepting to live life.

    When I went through a depression during menopause, I had told a very good friend (who had previously gone through depression herself) about how anguished, useless, unrecognisable and apathetic I felt and one of the things she had told me was : "As soon as you get up, get dressed and go for a walk, even for 5 minutes at a time, don't put expectations on it, just do it, even while feeling adverse to it and see what happens".

    And you know what happened ? Five minutes couldn't stay 5 minutes and, slowly, it was tiny success upon small success and it was my literal first step on a long healing and recovering path.

    My therapist strongly encouraged this and other strategies while I went through the process of unravelling my personal traumas.

  22. @OldNavajoTricks on

    I use a similar thing, say I have to go to the shops or something I say "I'll do it now while I don't want to…"
    It confuses people until I explain,
    At this precise moment it's level one 'don't want to/cba' but in five minutes my brain will have come up with a million reasons I 'don't want to' and it will continue to reinforce itself until I abandon the idea of doing the thing.
    So logically right now IS the prime moment to go do it…
    Whilst I 'only' don't want to.
    🤘🙂

  24. @ericrennert6775 on

    This is the “Nike” approach, just do…uh, ok, and how? Oh convince yourself that it is good for you?! Brilliant….why didn’t think of that? Again, how? Work out, eat healthy foods, get better sleep, do some chores, go for relaxing walks, socialize…wow, what genius ideas! Again, seems like you’re just trying to “motivate” people to do healthy things all while saying don’t rely on or wait for motivation…so back to square one…how?! I won’t hold my breath for that answer because you don’t appear to have one…:/

  27. @kamhart on

    I'll soon be 72. ICU nurse 46 yrs. Retired. Can't find work & can't make ends meet on SS. In 18 months lost my husband in a car wreck, & 2 brothers to cancer. We planned to travel.. these days I fear travel alone . Can't afford to fly. Kids are busy with jobs & kids . My couch & electric blanket have become my support group. Don't have to cook, Just took my ornaments off my Christmas tree. I don't have to pick up, no one comes to see me. Can't afford to meet friends for lunch. .. I have no health problems yet… but I have no motivation … my give a damn is gone.. & my VANILLA is melting…. but your video resonates loudly!! Thank you! 😊

  30. @marykilgarriff3550 on

    Thank you. I'm going to take a shower and do some gardening today. I'll repeat vanilla everything I feel like flopping down on the couch and scrolling on my I pad. Best wishes from Ireland 🇮🇪

  32. @amandaglahn2814 on

    I am a German girl and I'm trying very hard to follow your tips. Now I feel a bit better and in future I am going to watch more of your videos to feel way better because I have Depression. You're right and ONLY I have to change my mindset. Thanks❤

  34. @SherrysZoo on

    That was VERY helpful THANK YOU!! What a coincidence! This morning i forced myself to make 1 call off my dread list & afterwards i thought it wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be! & it was followed by a small sense of some accomplishment, hey! I can scratch that one off my list!! That one wont haunt me anymore! But now hearing this, I'll try it again in a more purposeful way & see if that helps get me going on more things off my dread list? = I'll follow a dread accomplishment with a small reward of some kind in between

  35. @brenda5297 on

    I found this video and watched it but I want to ask you something. I suffer from chronic nerves and depression and type 2 diabetes. For me, the hardest task of all is showering often. I just can't keep doing it and it's back to the drawing board. I'm tired of that but I can't stop doing it. I have no motivation to shower often and that bugs me. What should I do? 😱

  36. @behroozgheitasi2337 on

    I just finished the Break the Anxiety Cycle course today. I’ve watched the videos multiple times, taken detailed notes, reviewed them again and again, reflected deeply, and practiced repeatedly. Now, after a few months, I can confidently say that my nervous system has changed—I have a much healthier response to stress. If I ever feel anxious, I now have plenty of tools and two full notebooks of strategies to help myself.

    I can now support myself and others, be a better person in this world, and I’m proud of that. The last note I wrote in my journal from this course was about celebrating even the small wins—while in reality, we have achieved so much and rarely give ourselves enough credit.

    I kept thinking about how to express my gratitude for this amazing course, and I guess I just did.

    Thank you so much for this incredible journey!❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏

  45. @johnmcglynn5131 on

    My story February 2024 severe anxiety/depression/loneliness. Back to living on my own since my Mum died in 2021. In a job that is lonely and lacks purpose. Two hospital stays Feb 2024 and September 2024. Trying so hard to get well I was walking, counselling, group therapy, but having loads of setbacks. On meds. But I just can't seem to get well 😢

  46. @shonaharris9328 on

    I really like the idea of just starting with one small step. Even 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 small like getting up just a little earlier and exercise for 5 minutes. Or putting away half a basket of laundry. The important thing is giving yourself credit for small things which can be a hard thing to do if you have a depressed mind so journaling it helps.
    Thanks for the video!

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