How to Handle Toddler Temper Tantrums Like A PRO

How to Handle Toddler Temper Tantrums Like A PRO

Before you lose your mind during your toddler’s next tantrum, watch this video first. Tantrums aren’t bad. I know in the moment it is probably the worst thing ever, but now being on the other side of it as a mom of three and also as a pediatric sleep consultant and potty training coach, I can tell you firsthand that this two shall pass. When I say that tantrums aren’t bad, it’s because tantrums are your child’s way of asserting their independence. They are learning that they are separate from you. And I know it’s heartbreaking because all the years leading up to this, they were literally attached to you. And maybe they still are very attached, but they’re also learning how to be their own independent person. And in the grand scheme of parenting, we want to raise happy, healthy, independent adults. So it starts now. As much as you know that their adult years are 15, 16 years ahead of you, it goes by very quickly and as they grow and start going to school and having more responsibilities, these things and these steps in life are actually very important. So just remember that tantrums are just part of the process of creating an independent individual and it will pay off in the long run. So, let’s jump into my eight tips on how you can handle these tantrums like a pro. Number one is to stay calm. Remember that this isn’t about you. It is about your child and all of everything going on inside their little nervous system and they just can’t handle it and they’re going to act out in return. And that’s okay. You have to stay calm and you have to take the perspective of this isn’t about me. This is about my child learning and growing. So tip number two is to validate your child’s feelings. When they are in the middle of the tantrum, it is so important to validate how they’re feeling. I understand you’re upset. I am here for you. I know this makes you sad. That’s all. You don’t want to give them a big long explanation. And we’ll talk about that more in a little bit. But tip number three is to stick to your boundaries. If your child is having a tantrum because they want a lollipop and you said, “No, you can’t have a lollipop right now because you didn’t eat your dinner yet.” And your toddler starts throwing a tantrum, do not give in and give them a lollipop just because you’re at your max capacity. That’s another thing that we’re going to talk about in a little bit on your max capacity and how to handle that. But just remember right now that it is important to hold your boundary on the thing that your child is flipping their lid about. The moment you give in is the moment your toddler learns that they can manipulate you. I always tell parents babies are not manipulative. However, toddlers are. I have firsthand been on an in-home sleep consultation where a toddler was throwing a fit and throwing a fit and throwing a fit so that his parent would take him out of his bedroom. As soon as he got his little body out of his bedroom, he looked at me with this little smirk paw. I knew I could win. And that is exactly what your child is going to do over and over. If you don’t hold the boundary, I could literally make an entire video about holding boundaries with toddlers. Actually, let me know if that is something that you’re interested in. If you want to learn more about how to hold boundaries with toddlers, then let me know. Otherwise, we’ll jump into tip four, and that is to consider the root of the tantrum. Now, just like adults, we get tired, we get hungry, we get angry, we get hangry. We can’t handle all of these feelings and emotions at once. And for most adults, we can contain our emotions. and I’m not very fully capable of that when I’m hangry. But for adults, we tend to get a little bit more snippy and snapping at whoever we’re conversing with. But if it’s your toddler who can’t control their emotions because maybe they’re tired, you need to work on their sleep schedule. If they’re hungry, you need to find foods that they will eat. I know that toddlers can become very picky eaters. A lot of parents will tell me that in the first year they ate whatever I put on their plate and now all of a sudden they’re pushing everything away and turning their nose up because it’s not what they wanted. Maybe your child’s obsessed with chicken nuggets. Give them chicken nuggets, but also put the healthy vegetables on their plate every single time. Maybe some fruit. Make sure that you’re always throwing in two or three options that you know they’re going to eat and something to experiment with, maybe something new. Another thing that can cause tantrums is when kids are just overstimulated. There’s too much going on and they need a break. But obviously, your child doesn’t know how to self-regulate and say, “I need a break from this. I’m over stimulated.” They’re going to act out and that’s how you’ll know that you need to just remove them from the situation for a little bit. Take a break and then move on with the day. Tip number five is something you should be doing all the time to lessen the amount of tantrums. Instead of just telling your child, “Sit at the table. We are eating and you’re using this plate, this cup,” you can spin it in a way that makes your child interested in the process. Instead, you can say, “Hey, Johnny, it’s dinner time. Do you want the blue plate or the green plate?” And then they pick. “Do you want the red cup or the yellow cup?” And then they pick. And so they are able to choose a couple of the things that have to do with dinner, but maybe not necessarily the actual the dinner that goes on the plate. So you are giving your child some control, some autonomy, some independence, and telling them this is what we’re having for dinner. And then of course, if they start throwing a tantrum or a fit over what is for dinner, say I understand you don’t like it. Period. That’s it. And that brings us into tip number seven. Just kidding. We’re still on tip six, and that is to comfort them. Comfort your child during their tantrum. It is okay to say, “I know you’re upset. Would you like a hug? I know you’re upset. Do you want me to hold you? Do you want space or do you want mommy?” You can use these words with your child. So, all they need to do is give you a one-word answer, and then you know exactly what they want in that moment. If your child wants to be alone and have a fit, let them tell them they can do this. And I always had a cozy corner or we had a reading corner or just like a calm corner somewhere in your house that your child knows that they can go to this place when they need to regulate their own emotions. Then you are giving them the tools to be able to do this on their own as they grow. Tip number seven is distraction. It’s important to know when it’s time to step in and dissolve the situation by distracting your child. Something I love doing is either bringing a child to the window or bringing them outside, getting some big deep breaths of fresh air and just observing what is going on in nature and in the world around you. So maybe the breeze is blowing and the trees and the leaves are moving and you can just narrate these things to your child and see, wow, it looks like the wind is blowing and the trees and the leaves are all going back and forth. and you can start swaying and that is soothing and calming to your child. You can talk to them about the clouds in the sky, the birds in the trees, anything that you are seeing happening in the world around you is a great distraction. Tip number eight, this is the one I said we were going to come back to because it is a big one. So during the tantrum, knowing that this is not the time to teach your child a lesson. This isn’t time to try and reason with your child. And I’ll bring this back to the example about adults again because adults aren’t learning anything when they’re super upset. Our brains are not capable. Okay? When we’re flipping out, we need to just let ourselves have those emotions. When it is appropriately time to talk about whatever happened, then you can have that lesson learning time with your child. Something I love doing is reading social stories with children. And I have a ton of templates in my website shop. I will link down below in the description and also in the comment section so you can check out the different subjects that I have social stories about. There are literally stories for so many different situations that your child may be in when they are toddlers. When they are calm and happy and in a better mood is when it is actually an appropriate time to have a chat about, hey, you were really upset earlier about what we were having for dinner. How are you feeling? What were you thinking? and just talk to them about those things. And something that you can say is, “I know you were really upset this time. How can we help feel better about it next time?” And then leave it at that. You don’t need to elaborate on and on about the same thing. This isn’t a lecture. This gives me flashbacks to when we would watch Full House and Danny Tanner would give his long lectures to the kids and they’d be like, “Oh, great. Here’s another one of dad talks.” So, we’re trying to avoid that. Toddlers do not have the capacity to have very long conversations. So, keep it very short and very simple. Now, remember to take care of yourself. When you’re at your max capacity of toddler behavior, dealing with all of that, you need to know when it is time to either tap in another adult or just tap yourself out. Make sure your kid is in a safe place. So maybe it’s in their bedroom with the door shut and a childproof lock on the door or childproof knob so they cannot get out and you know that they are safe. And then go take a breath. Wash your face. Splash yourself with some cold water or something. Just shock your system. And remember you’re dealing with a toddler. You cannot have high expectations for their behavior. It is your job to teach them. Just not in this moment. This moment is just about getting through it. And I know you can do it. Take a break. Take a breath. Do what you need to do to make sure that you don’t lose your mind. I will literally never forget one time specifically. There have been many times where I’ve lost my pool, but there was one time specifically and I just freaked out yelling at my kid. And I’ll never forget the look on his face. And it was a learning experience for me because I never want him to look at me like that again. I felt so bad because I didn’t take a break when I needed to. And so I’m here to tell you, learn from my mistake and take a break when you need to take a break. Don’t forget to check out the social story templates that I have in my shop and keep blooming.

SOCIAL STORY TEMPLATES:
https://slumberandbloom.com/product-category/social-stories/

8 Expert Tips to Handle Toddler Tantrums Like a Pro

Are toddler tantrums wearing you out? In this video, a mom of three and experienced pediatric sleep consultant shares invaluable insights and practical tips to manage your child’s tantrums effectively. Learn why tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development and discover eight actionable strategies to stay calm, validate feelings, maintain boundaries, and more. From understanding the root causes to using distractions and comforting techniques, these expert tips will help you navigate tantrums with confidence. Plus, find out why it’s crucial to take breaks for your own well-being. Don’t miss the social story templates available in the description to further support your parenting journey!

00:00 Introduction: Understanding Toddler Tantrums
01:24 Tip 1: Stay Calm
01:49 Tip 2: Validate Their Feelings
02:10 Tip 3: Stick to Your Boundaries
03:36 Tip 4: Consider the Root Cause
05:09 Tip 5: Offer Choices
06:06 Tip 6: Comfort Them
06:48 Tip 7: Use Distraction
07:40 Tip 8: Teach Lessons Later
09:23 Self-Care for Parents
10:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

SLEEP ESSENTIALS:
BlackoutEZ Window Covers: https://amzn.to/3VfYCto
Dohm White Noise: https://amzn.to/3F968kl
Hatch: https://amzn.to/3VDdySt
Owlet Cam Monitor: https://amzn.to/3Udf50j
Crib Mattress: https://amzn.to/3VAjMCi
Crib: https://amzn.to/3gMfAAD
Pack ‘n Play: https://amzn.to/3H1ucXw
Bassinet: https://amzn.to/3Ucwvu4
********************************************************************
BOOK A SLEEP CONSULTATION: https://slumberandbloom.com/sleepcoaching/

BOOK A POTTY CONSULTATION: https://slumberandbloom.com/pottytraining/

FREE BABY SLEEP GUIDE:
https://slumberandbloom.myflodesk.com/bettersleep

FREE POTTY TRAINING GUIDE: https://slumberandbloom.myflodesk.com/ptguide

********************************************************************
😴 Slumber and Bloom- https://www.slumberandbloom.com
📧 Email- Missy@slumberandbloom.com
********************************************************************
OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN:

IS BABY SLEEP TRAINING NECESSARY?

HOW TO CALM A FUSSY BABY | TIPS TO HELP YOUR BABY RELAX:

KNOWING YOU’RE PREGNANT 7 DAYS BEFORE YOUR MISSED PERIOD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkxN2Htv79Q

NEWBORN ESSENTIALS | WINTER BABY FAVORITES: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI3lUEhYYkc&t=7s

HOW TO TRANSITION BABY OUT OF SWADDLE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LFOukM26fM&t=260s

HOW TO GET YOUR KIDS TO STAY IN BED | MY TOT CLOCK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Af8DcmiGU

“MY BABY WAKES UP EVERY TWO HOURS!”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvKnIvdz694&t=29s

BREASTFEEDING ESSENTIALS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMJsUN0-UcU
********************************************************************
👋 Come say hi on social: ⬇
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slumberandbloom
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/slumberandbloom
********************************************************************

Equipment used in this video:
Camera: https://amzn.to/378u0Rz
Tripod: https://amzn.to/37c9EqH
Lighting: https://amzn.to/379T4b3

NOTE: This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

#slumberandbloom #sleepconsultant #momlife