Mental Health Awareness for Men 65
Welcome to a pivotal moment in the world of broadcast as we proudly present the men’s mental health show featuring the renowned Larry Mabberry in collaboration with the Mosen Group. This essential exploration of men’s mental health wouldn’t be possible without the invaluable support of Rainer Avenue. Now, let’s dive into this crucial conversation with Larry Mabberry and the Mosen Group. Your mental well-being matters. Here’s Larry Mabberry. Hey, what’s going on, guys? What’s going on? This beautiful Monday. We’re looking at August 11th, 2025. Just wanted to tap in. Um last week, wasn’t here. Wasn’t feeling very well. Feeling a little bit better today. Um the weather’s beautiful today. Just was curious to see what are you guys doing to um take care of your inner child, right? Uh making sure you’re spending some quality time outside. um getting some sun rays, you know, having some uh internal reflection, things of that nature. So, today I wanted to kind of talk about fear of abandonment. And so, uh for those individuals that’s kind of tapped in with me for a while, uh I’ve kind of talked a little bit about my journey as far as coming to Washington, um kind of my dad, my real dad, my stepdad, that type of thing. Um and recently, I’ve been uh chatting with uh several of my clients and we’ve been talking about um just different things. So, I want to kind of talk about that, right? And so, sometimes, you know, when we have those fears, it has us make certain choices um that really aren’t for our better judgment. Um and so fear and let’s just break it down like if we’re if we’re having a fear in general, typically what happens when we’re afraid, right? So, just think about it for those people that are listening. When you’re afraid, you know, what what are action steps that you take when you’re afraid? So, I’m just curious to see you think about something like that. When you’re afraid, what are some things you do? So, imagine, you know, you’re walking and uh you notice a spider, you’re afraid of spiders. The first response, you know, you may kind of jump back like, “Oh, wow.” You know, um or you may just kind of get shocked. Um and so I want to kind of break that down, right? So, when you have a issue where you’re afraid, you show some fear, your first response is to kind of jump back like, “Oh my god, what is this?” right? Um, and then what do you do as a response with that? Typically, we go into what we call a fight orflight mode when you’re afraid or something. Um, and then what’s the next response? And so, I want to kind of break that down a little bit today because a lot of times, you know, when when we have family members or loved ones that pass away, um, we don’t want to feel like we’re abandoned. And so, we take certain action steps that kind of prevent us from expanding. And so I wanted to kind of talk about that, right? And so when we’re looking at fear, um there’s healthy fear and then there’s fear that kind of can catalyze us in situations where we don’t even move forward. And so I want to kind of talk. So when we have that healthy fear, basically it just it gives us enough to kind of help us move in the right direction, right? So, let’s say um going back to the spider, you see the spider, you jump back and you kind of move away and let you know, okay, well, maybe going that way wasn’t the best way. Um I give you a situation. So, a partner friend of mine and I, we were going uh fishing one day and we jumped in the boat. We were so excited. Um and there’s for those people who fish, there’s a plug that you have in the back of the boat. There’s two plugs. There’s one that kind of drains the water and that’s one that um you you kind of uh just kind of make sure you kind of temper it and that type of thing. So anyway, long story short, uh he put the wrong plug in and so we go we jump in the boat and we’re all excited, you know, we we jump in there, we get caught up and all of a sudden we notice, you know, as we’re accelerating that the weight of the back of the boat is like like heavier, right? And so I look back and we’re looking it’s like this water’s coming in. We’re like, “Wait, old snap.” Like where’s the water coming from? So, we had to immediately go around. That’s a healthy form of fear because obviously if we if we kept going forward, then I wouldn’t be on the show. Um, however, through that fear, it we boom went into immediate action, turned around, got back, made sure we plugged it up, we joked about it, but that’s healthy fear. But if we have that that treacherous or that scary fear and we never face it, then unfortunately, um, we can make certain choices that’s just not very beneficial. And so, what’s abandonment? Well, if you’ve grown up and you’ve experienced people maybe leaving your life, maybe you’re a small child and you notice your mom or dad left when you’re younger, um you know, you may feel like, oh wow, you know, um I don’t really know what’s going to happen, right? If or let’s say your mom comes out or leaves to go to work and she never comes back or dad maybe goes to work and never comes back or uh let’s say that you’re in a relationship with mom and dad and then you realize you know someone doesn’t one of those parent family members don’t come back that can espouse a certain fear of abandonment right and so today I want to talk about that so what are some things that typically happen so typically in that situation um when you move forward in relationships because of that situation, um, you become a little bit more needy, right? Um, and why, you may say, well, why why am I needy? Well, typically you’re more needy because in your mind, if you had a person leave you, um, you’re you’re always trying to figure out, man, okay, are they going to be back at this time? um you know, you’re not really confident with the choices because you know um you have this fear that maybe that person may not come back. Um and so why am I bringing this up? Well, I’m bringing this up because um for those people I think I chatted about this before, you know, my stepd dad passed away back in September. Um and then went back to Michigan was kind of handling some stuff with my real dad. um real dad uh actually has had some health challenges and so my mom actually has been kind of raising not raising but helping him through his challenges um but because he wasn’t really in my life um we’re noticing some very interesting things and so um the cool thing is my dad and I had a relationship where we could just keep it above and so I asked him I said yo you know when you were younger um you know how was it for you growing up my dad’s 75 and so you know he was like yo you know dad wasn’t really found um you know I had to kind of f for myself and I said okay okay and so um that’s kind of helping giving me some understanding and so I share that because uh he and I had to have a conversation because he would blow my phone up. I’m like bro like yo if I tell you I’m going to do it you know I’ll take care of it but I had to kind of step back and kind of understand where he was coming from. And so because I realized, oh, you know, um, he grew up, dad wasn’t really around as much. Um, I noticed that, you know, he always had to kind of reach out. And I’m like, okay, so I get it. So, dad, just so you know, um, you know, I’m here. You know, I may not be there immediately because either I’m working or I’m handling some personal business or whatever, but rest assured, right, I’ll give you a call back. And so I’m sharing that because part of the healing with that is making sure you have communication with people, right? Um having that authentic relationship with people and honoring your word. So if somebody’s like saying, “Hey, you know, I need you to check in with me.” Check in, right? Just say, “Hey, I’m just checking in.” Doesn’t have to be every hour in the hour, right? But just check in. Say, “Hey, you know, I was just thinking about you. Just want to make sure you’re good.” Um but also set the boundaries, too. say, “Hey, I won’t be available from this time to this time, but just was thinking about you and just wanted to tap in with you.” Okay. Um, now obviously that’s something that that person has to kind of work through, but at the same time, you know, you could be a catalyst to kind of help them with the healing or you can cause something to be to their detriment. And so, um, I would advise individuals to kind of work on that. Another thing I noticed too is um when you have that fear of abandonment, typically the emotional intimacy can be a challenge, right? Or the emotional trust, right? If you grow up and you experience somebody kind of not being around, um typically that’s going to be a hard thing to work through. Um, and so as much as possible, honoring your word, kind of backing up, supporting people, um, making sure you can give them certain vignettes where you can have those real conversations. Um, and you want to create more healthy type relationships, right? And so what I noticed, and I want to kind of I like to be transparent. Again, coming from Detroit, it’s like the communication piece is uh, I would say could be rather harsh. Um, and so as I’ve evolved and as I’ve kind of gone through different types of uh, communities, I realized that my approach could be um, a little bit offputting or push some people’s back. And so um, my dad and I have kind of talk about this too as far as like being mindful of your energy. You may say energy. Yeah. So obviously you know you know you walk in a room you notice that if people are excited they have a certain energy, right? If you walk in a room and people are kind of gloom doom, that’s another energy. Well, if someone is walking with a chip on their shoulder, then that’s going to create another energy as well. Just like if someone’s walking full of joy, that’s going to create another energy. And so, I’m sharing this because my dad and I had to have that real conversation as far as like, hey, um, in this instance, you know, I’m noticing this um, and that’s not really kind of what I want to have between us. And so you have to kind of have those real conversations to say, “Hey, you know, um if for so long you haven’t been accustomed to smiling or you’ve had people be very direct or very rude to you, unfortunately you could take that on and what happens is you’re starting to be rude, disrespectful with people, um short with people, um quick to, you know, jump to conclusions and that type of thing.” And so I’m like, yo, you just so you know, moving forward, it would probably be better in your best interest to be mindful of other people. Kind of take your time. Um because at the end of the day, we’re here to support you. But it’s important that we feel like you’re being kind. So we had to had a real conversation. Um was it easy? No, it’s not easy. But you know, you have to consistently work on those things, right? Um, but in terms of people be feeling abandoned, what are some things that we could do so that people will feel more comfortable, right? I’m curious to see what you guys think. So, feel free to reach out and say, “Hey, you know, I would feel more comfortable with this.” Um, yeah, reach out the master onegmail.com or, you know, you can reach us out on uh Instagram, Facebook, um X, I believe. Yeah. So, just reach out, let us know. So, but the one thing I I would say would be the biggest thing as far as that is a communication. Um, making sure you kind of let people know. Now, obviously things sometimes happen out of control and typically I notice uh when emergency situations will happen would actually trigger my dad. Um, but you know, things outside our control, they do happen. Um, but as much as possible, try to communicate that and then when those things happen, you can try to have some plan B’s. That’s that’s possible, but sometimes you can’t. So, you just have to kind of help them regulate with that. Um, and also too, I noticed too people who um have the fear of abandonment, they typically have or they engage in peopleleasing type of personalities um or silencing behaviors. Um, and so I’m sharing that because I noticed earlier on in my evolution that was something I work through. Um, I have a lot of clients that I help with that as well. Um, and it’s important to, you know, ask yourself about yourself and so um, today I had a very very good conversation with a client and I asked them one question and unfortunately they weren’t able to to answer this question and I’ll pose this question to you and the question was what is it about yourself that you like? I want you guys to think about that. Um, and it’s not what other people say you are. Um, it’s not, you know, your accolades and that type of thing. It’s not your job. It’s an actual definitive what is it about yourself that you like, right? And I think sometimes we get caught up in the exterior as far as, you know, what we’re doing in our career and, you know, who we are as a dad and, you know, who we are as far as, you know, business owner and that type of thing. you know, those things are nice, but at the end of the day, the crux of who you are, um, very very important that you have a a clear understanding of that. Um, and so through that conversation, um, it was very paramount that that individual need to work on that. And you may ask, well, why is that important? Well, who you are basically it gives a sense of who you are as a person in terms of your self-confidence, in terms of your self-worth. Um, and if you have people outside of you that come at you with hate or disrespect or things of that nature, um, if you have a fortified sense of self, then none of that thing, none of those things are going to affect you at all. Um, because basically those are just people’s opinions and people are going to have those all the time. So, if someone says you’re ugly, but you feel like you’re beautiful, then that’s what matters. And so, I’m sharing this because at the end of the day, um the one conversation that me and my client had was, “Who are you?” And they really couldn’t tell me. Um and I said, “Okay, that’s fair, but I want you to take this question and come back and let’s discuss it.” And so, why am I sharing this? Well, because if you are abandoned, if you’re feeling alone, the question is, who are you, right? Who are you to feel alone? Who are you to feel abandoned? who are you connected to? Um, and answering those questions kind of help you solidify who you are. Now, I’m sharing this because what I realized for myself is as you evolve, who you are changes, right? Your priorities, your belief systems, um, these things morph into who you are in the moment. You know, who I was at 25 is a definitely a different Larry at, you know, 53 for sure. Um, and so you have to kind of reassess that and and sometimes situations will push upon that to kind of help you reestablish who you are too, right? Um, if you’re a dad, you know, if you’re father, if you’re son, if you’re all of those things, um, you know, people are going to depend on you, but the question is, can you depend on yourself? So, it’s really, really important to every day reassess who are you, right? um your spirit affiliation, religious affiliation, you know, who you are as far as the crux of who you are. That’s very very important. Um and that could change, you know, as you morph. Um and so I just want to kind of put that out there. And it’s not really so much about your accomplishments. And I want to really put that out there because I feel like as men, you know, we kind of get caught up on, you know, you know, I can run the fastest, you know, I got the biggest this, I got the biggest car that. I mean, we can go on and on, right? At the end of the day, um, when it’s your last day, no one’s going to really care about how much money you had or what kind of car you had. They’re going to really ask, you know, who were you as a person? Like, what was your character? Um, what value did you bring to that person’s life, right? How did you impact that individual? Um, and so I’m bringing that up now because it’s like I want us to be mindful of what are we doing to kind of help those individuals who may be fearful, right? Um, if you’re fearful of being abandoned, you know, ask yourself, okay, what am I really afraid of, right? Um, are you really really being abandoned? Right? Um, at the end of the day, I mean, my philosophy is, you know, we come in this world with just ourselves, right? Yeah. we have our parents at the end of the day when we go out we’re gonna basically have oursel right and so um it’s very very vitally important to make sure that you have a positive loving relationship with yourself um and that means that sometimes you have to like check yourself and say you know what you know I’m in this relationship and this is not being beneficial to me um and typically when you’re fearful of abandonment you tend to put yourself in situations or relationships that are very detrimental channel to you because you’re afraid that you’ll be alone. Um, and so if you’re in that seat, if you’re in that particular predicament, feel free to reach out. Um, the master group one at Gmail, we could do what we can to assist you, to support you. Um, it’s okay. You’re not alone. Um, I want to put this out here because recently I spoke to a friend of mine and she had talked about um, one of her close family members passing away, but he took his life. Um, and so I feel like as gentlemen, as men, you know, as fathers, as sons, we have a lot of things we’re dealing with. Um, and so I just want to say, hey, I see you. I understand. Um, and you know, whatever I can do to support you. It’s okay. Uh, it takes a lot of courage to reach out, but it’s okay. You can shoot me an email. Um, let me know, hey, I’m just out here. I just need support. Uh, and that’s just you saying to yourself that I care enough about myself to reach out to somebody who can just hear me out. And that’s okay, too. And so, another thing too with the fear of abandonment, um, I noticed as well is sometimes because of the low self-esteem, people they get afraid to, uh, step into their own voice, right? And so, um, by that example, you may feel a certain kind of way, but because you’re afraid that the person may not like it or they may leave you, then you don’t really share your voice. Um, and I want to share this with you. It’s really important to speak your truth. Um, because at the end of the day, um, it’s just taking away from your own spirit if you don’t speak your truth. You know, all of us have a certain type of gift and your gift may be different than my gift, but if God gave you that gift, it’s important for you to operate in your gift, right? And so sometimes your gift could be the light uh basically scares off some other people’s demons. Well, whose fault is that? That’s not your fault, right? And so sometimes you might be the underdog. You might be the black sheep, the white sheep, and so you’re feeling some kind of way like, man, if I express myself, it’s not going to be received. So what? You know, there’s many people in the history books that express themselves and they weren’t received, but yet they’re still successful. We can go on and on and on. And it’s not just about being successful, but it’s about you expressing yourself with your truth. And you know that when you lay your head at night, hey, you did your best. You spoke your truth. You did what was necessary for yourself. And you know, there are universal properties. There are spiritual types of entities that’s looking out for you because at the end of the day, it’s important for you to be true to yourself. Okay? So uh another thing too is um because like I said before because of people who are a fear who have fear of being abandoned um they put themselves in unhealthy relationships. Now this may be a relationship that they may have with a person. This could also be um engaging in activities that’s unhealthy. Um this could be you know drug paraphernalia. Um this could be gambling. I mean, we can give it a name, right? Um, and so it’s important to make sure that, um, you know, if you need some help, I’m here to support you. Um, a lot of times individuals too, they may be hyperritical to themselves, um, or very cynical um, to criticism, very sensitive to that type of thing, and so they can come off as being defensive. Um, and so it’s important to reach out to some people who can kind of meet you where you’re at and kind of support you through that situation. Um, and give you some strategies, right? And give you some just different types of ways to kind of work through that. Um, because what I noticed too is typically when people have fear of abandonment, they’ll notice that they’ll have um reciprocal type of challenges that continually go on and on and on. Um, and the only way to get off the hamster wheel is you have to do the inner work. And you may say, “Well, what’s the inner work?” Well, um, if you have a fear of something, the only way to heal that fear is you have to heal it within. And so, earlier on, I asked, you know, what are you afraid of? What do you feel like it’s leaving you? Um, and I’m not sure for those individuals that have or that are interested is it’s very very important to have some sort of relationship with a higher power. um very very vital because I feel like at the end of the day there’s someone some entity you can go to and kind of chop it up and get some revelation some understanding um some peace um that can help guide you to help you on your path. Um, and the reason why that’s important is because sometimes, you know, an individual, you may connect with that person, it just might not be the right day, right? But if you’re not having a good day and the other person’s not having a good day, that you’re going to take it wrong. Um, but if you have like a spiritual entity or someone um of spirit that you can kind of connect with to kind of help keep you solid, that’s going to really help you tremendously. Um and so I would definitely encourage um individuals to make sure you seek some counsel um some support, some individuals who have that higher level of understanding to help you navigate through that. Um another thing too I just noticed on my journey when you have that spiritual affiliation typically um what happens is they’re able to help you see the same challenge from another lens. Um, and so it won’t it won’t really affect you in a negative way. And I’ll give you an example. Um, I noticed myself that, you know, I grew up, uh, my dad wasn’t really around, my stepdad was around, and I would say early in my career, um, I was struggling with anger, um, frustration, you know, not feeling like, you know, my dad had my back. Um, I had to write letters to him back in my my 20s. Now I’m at a space um now that’s really interesting because how I see it now is understanding that he did the best he could from what he knew um and also understanding the fact that you know um what I know now I can still support my dad unconditionally right um but also um I’m understanding that no matter what happened He operated out of everything that he knew to operate out of. Right? And asked myself like, am I perfect? No. Right? And so there’s many times where I did things um out of a space where I was upset, I didn’t understand, I didn’t know. And thank God, you know, there’s those individuals that still gave me that grace. Um gave me that love and that understanding to kind of help nurture me through the situation. And then what I noticed too is um I am understanding more about compassion, right? And that’s important because now the lens in which I looking I’m looking at things is more from a compassionate space because whatever I want to happen to me is what I put out. So I would I will desire for people to be more compassionate towards me, more understanding, more loving, more empathetic. And so it’s important for me to do that. Now, it’s not something you fake. You got to you got to do the inner work. But the question is, what are you doing to be more compassionate towards yourself? What are you doing to be more empathetic towards yourself? And most of all, what are you doing to be um more authentic? And so, I just want to share that. Very, very important. Okay. So, real quick, so for those guys, um I know we’re kind of getting towards the end of the show. Um, next uh six o’clock, make sure you guys tap in to um better together, excuse me, living powerfully um with a guest, Dr. Stacy, uh Dr. Tracy Herell. Um make sure you guys show some love for that. Um living together powerfully. And also too, um I’m in a new space, so I’m kind of liking I’m still over here, but it feels kind of good. So I’m excited about this uh this new little venture here with Rainer Avenue. So, I just want to also put a shout out to them. I appreciate Rainer Avenue for showing me the love and just some respect and uh giving me a platform to kind of speak my truth and appreciate the viewers too that tap in and say, “Hey, what’s up?” Um, just appreciate you guys as well. Um, and also, what are you guys thinking? Was this beneficial? Right? Do you see how this could be helpful to you as far as you journey? You know, what are some things you’re doing to kind of face your fears? Um, is it easy to face your fears? No. Um I know it’s not easy, right? Um however you become stronger with facing it, right? Um and also too couple things real quick before we wrap it up is uh sometimes people can have parental neglect which was the situation with my dad. Um emotional unavail unavailability like people not really being there for you. So you don’t really know how to handle that. You feel abandoned because you don’t have your needs met. loss of a caregiver um through death or divorce that could espouse that particular type of emotion, being raised in an unpredictable or chaotic environment. And so that was very prevalent in Detroit um with a lot of gang violence and that type of thing. And so, excuse me, I’m sharing this because it’s important to kind of know what people are going through so you can see how they can um you can support them through that through that journey. Um, and and as you can support them through their journey, you can support them with the healing as well. Okay. All right, guys. I want to say I appreciate you guys showing me some love. Um, make sure you guys tap in next week. We’ll uh we’ll talk some more about men’s mental health. And without further ado, guys, Ladies and gentlemen, this is Rainineeravvener Radio.world, the station that cares about our community. On behalf of Adifua Cultural Education Workshop, we invite you to join us for the Adafua Day of Action and Media Day on August 15th, 2025 from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. at the Reineer Arts Center. This event will bring together key community leaders including Mayor Bruce Herell’s office and King County Council member Germe Zahel to discuss the vital role of culture, community, and legacy in Seattle’s future. Hey Seattle, tune in to Lidline Sports every Monday, 7:00 p.m.
Mental Health Awareness for Men broadcasts live Mondays at 5:30 pm PT addressing mental health awareness for men specifically African American men through anger management, emotional well being, mindfulness, vibrational alignment, inner child, and shadow work hosted by life coach Larry Mabry of the Maassen Group.
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