The importance of new fathers’ mental health | Mark Williams | TEDxNantymoel
In late 2004, Mark witnessed his wife go through a traumatic birth, feeling out of control and having his first ever panic attack at thirty years of age. Michelle, his wife, was quickly diagnosed with severe postnatal depression but after looking after Michelle feeling isolated and using alcohol to cope Mark himself was having suicidal thoughts in the postnatal period suffering in silence for years until a breakdown over five years later. Mark talks with passion about the importance of looking after the mental wellbeing of new fathers In late 2004, Mark witnessed his wife go through a traumatic birth, feeling out of control and having his first ever panic attack at thirty years of age. Michelle, his wife, was quickly diagnosed with severe postnatal depression but after looking after Michelle feeling isolated and using alcohol to cope Mark himself was having suicidal thoughts in the postnatal period suffering in silence for years until a breakdown over five years later.
After setting up a support group he founded International Fathers Mental Health Day and #Howareyoudad campaign to make sure all parents are having support for their mental health.
Since 2011 Mark has spoken on television and radio stations around the world and works with Dr Jane Hanley who have both published articles on Fathers Mental Health together. Mark was awarded Inspirational Father of the Year and Local Hero at the Pride of Britain Awards in 2012 and was invited to meet The Royal Family on World Mental Health Day in 2016. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
19 Comments
Well done Mark, keep the father's mental health burning
Such an important TEDx that we all need to watch. Nice one Mark and this talk will help so many other Dad's👍
been through all of this and still at it now. I am currently trying to cut the drink as it turned into a daily thing recently. I used to be very athletic but due to lack of time, lack of sleep and having to deal with a depressed mother and a very challenging daughter (1,5 yo) I have hardly any time for sports. Now I am taking all the measures to get my girlfriend back on track (Psychiatrist, Hormone therapy, Physiotherapy) but have to pay for all this. This puts more strain on my situation. I think there should be someone that tells you how incredibly hard it can be to have a small child/baby as it mostly comes totally unprepared. There should be an automatic mechanism to help young families as asking for help is just so embarrassing. And admitting that there are problems makes you look like a bad parent for most people. Anyway I believe that if my girlfriend gets better everything will get better.
Thank you Mark. This was great I will remember to ask new dads how they are? It really is so helpful to hear your experience.
Well said I can identify with so much of what he has said 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 thank you
My first year of parenthood was the lowest year of life in mental health. Lonliness and feeling of failure, no strong bond with my child and a struggling relationship. My son is 2 now and we have another baby on the way and I think about them every minute of the day. Please hang in there dads it does get better x
Thank you Mark, great to hear. I'm currently speaking to a counsellor for post partum anxiety, and feel as though I'm making steady progress. It's great that people like yourself are raising awareness of this.
Im struggling with financial stress and anxiety. Thinking I won't be able to meet certain money issues. Its been a really hard year
I developed stomach issues after the birth of my first son, they resolved then came back when my wife was pregnant with our daughter. It is very stressful, still struggling a bit but I believe it does get better.
My wife and I both come from large families who are not emotionally supportive and no one has really asked how we are doing emotionally. we’re keeping up with caring for the baby just fine thank you JESUS. But as new parents at 25 years old it changed our whole lives. Everyone who has ever had a child should know this. and no one asked checked up on us in that way. Except for my best friend and my wife of course.
What role do wives/girlfriends in the mental health of men? I feel that women let us down but in the same vein, we are so used to protecting our partners that they probably don't know how to be there for us
I’m a dad of 2. 6 year old amazing son. And my beautiful little girl of 18 months came
Along. I feel like my mental health is through the roof. When my girlfriend gets home late, and when she goes out over the weekend I struggle bad with both kids. My 9-5 is a physical job battling the weather and heavy lifting. Sometimes I can’t cope and just cry to myself in the kitchen. Other times I’m fine and can deal with it. My girlfriend doesn’t know how to deal with me when I’m like it and goes silent and that makes me worse. I believe it will get better. Good luck to anyone else dealing with this
First night with my newborn son and I've woke up this morning feeling rubbish, hence why I'm here. It's not my first rodeo however I'm older and wiser now. Hope I adapt quickly and can be the best dad I can be to my little guy.
There’s a lot of weight to carry as a partner or Dad, and a lot of the time I think we realise how difficult Mums have it, so disregard our own struggles, our health and sanity – because they can’t compare and we’re trying to stay strong because we believe that’s what we’re supposed to do, or that it’s the only thing that matters. When actually, partners and mothers mental health – they’re in different leagues – they’re entirely different games. Talking is a good place to begin – this video was very reassuring to watch, I’ll be keeping a keen eye out for Mark in future 🙂
Absolutely valid! A month after having our son, my husband woke up at 2am thinking he was having a heart attack. When the EMTs showed up, they checked him and said "your heart is fine sir, you're having a panic attack, please go see a doctor or therapist". I was so grateful for that moment so my husband could be seen and told to get help!!
appreciate your words mate
Great episode. Explosive
hear because my ex lover took his life months after becoming a new dad🥺🩵💜 i just feel so lost
This is amazing. Super helpful. I'm going through it right now.