Who Really Causes Depression?

depression loves to play the blame game it tells you that it’s your fault that you’re not trying hard enough that you deserve to feel this way but depression is an illness not a personal failing don’t let it guilt you into silence seek help seek treatment and reclaim your life

Stop blaming yourself for your depression. It’s an illness, not a weakness. Seek help and start your journey to recovery. #MentalHealth #Depression #SelfBlame

39 Comments

  1. Dr. Marks, at my last virtual therapy appointment, my therapist low key suggested this (therapy with her) might not be suitable for me. I've been seeing her for several months every two weeks, but this specific appt I had forgotten to do a homework assignment. I was very, very upset this day and a lot of emotions were coming up and I was crying a lot and not saying much. Now I feel self-conscious and like I can't even trust her with my treatment. Is this normal behavior? All for a bad day and forgetting to do some journaling homework?

  2. The word ‘depression’ describes a symptom, not a disease. Look for the cause of that symptom. For example, chronic active Epstein-Barr disease (aka mononucleosis/mono) might be the underlying cause. Lyme disease, shingles, HSV, HHV6, there’s a long list of potential endemic diseases that fly under the radar. You’ll need to be your own best advocate. Doctors are likely to resort to treating the CDC Recommended Guidelines instead of treating the patient. Nowadays, lingering symptoms of Covid should be investigated. Sadly, the medical industry is slow to mobilize to characterize the extent of Covid’s impact on populations.

  3. Yeah, I have BD and I find that depression is somehow more convincing than mania. Like, I’m more self-aware that my thoughts are silly when manic. However, I’m often convinced that the self-hatred I feel when depressed is valid. It’s quite annoying.

  4. Depression says those things because everybody else does 😭Everybody else tells me it's my fault 😭 Everybody else tells me I'm not trying hard enough 😭 No matter how much I try to fight depression, others toss me right back into it 😭

  5. I tried. I had been turned away because of the wrong insurance, not seeing new patients, only doing video calls (they don't help me, I've tried), the County mental health said I need to find help outside of their set-up and gave me 3 different people to check with, all didn't work. I asked a family member to talk with me, I need some help and they never came through. I quit, I got the message loud and clear suffer in silence. I don't trust anymore.

  6. I have been seeking treatment
    the poor person has a poor clinic that not only does not care. and only throw pills at you talk treatment is at a bare minimum and so textbook with out real guidance
    i am
    mentally broken and the only other treatment has been 5150 which is a hell in itself in my experience
    no sleep no therapy no dr
    they just inprison you with no help its hell and you leave having to go back to “ normal “ as if nothing happened and you’re worse off than ever before.

  7. Sadly, the effect can also rub off on partners and other loved ones. I tried to convince my depressed/burned out partner that he desperately needed to rest. To recover. To heal. I tried to point out that even the most simple chores, that he had been able to do without much problem for years, had turned into huge obstacles. That he forgot everything. I tried to tell him that we (his family) loved him for him, that he didn't need to perform or provide, that we wanted him to rest.

    What he heard was "You can't do anything right. You don't give us (the family) anything. Just admit defeat, just accept that you're worthless."

    And no matter what I said, how I said it, or even if I didn't say anything about it for a months in hopes of letting him relax enough to see for himself that he wasn't well, his distortions were so bad that he just kept pushing himself without any end in sight. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare.

  8. Love you, Dr. Marks!!!❤ I saw you on an episode of VPI: Vinny Politan Investigates on Court TV last night. You were just as beautiful, intelligent & professional then as you are now. Thanks for providing this incredible resource of info on mental health. ❤😊🙏🏽

  9. I am trying to remember if drug abuse came first or depression. What I think back I think maybe I use drugs because I was feeling depressed and now I have chronic depression because of drug abuse. Even though I stopped, I am constantly bored and cannot experience any pleasure. I keep craving the drugs.I don’t want any of the medication so maybe I’m stuck

  10. Supposed loved ones didn't see it that way (even though their actions set me on the depression path). Finger pointing, stigma was all i got and if it goes on for decades ending finally physical rejection and abandonment so i now have no-one in my life and isolated with depression at 70 is a death sentence. Then again so many decades of pain and suffering maybe I'll finally find respite

  11. Not my fault? I HAVE asked for help AND sought treatment over decades to no avail. The current batch of Mental Health professionals are actually damaging me so much with their incompetence that i truly don't expect to see another birthday. MH Professionals have a lot to answer for. If I'd had someone half as good and understanding as Dr Marks, i might have stood a chance.

    And when you have stigna and blame game against me by family (and married to a man with UNDIAGNOSED autism until 4 yrs ago which he and family rejected the finding so am totally alone in this world now) a person would HAVE to accept blame if you are brainwashed enough times over enough years.
    And Professionals not interested in "ME" or WHY I'm like this. They just have a 50 min initial consult. Look up their DSM5 , instantly give you a label, force feed drugs even though after 12 antidepressants that didn't work they get angry because i won't take more, not to mention the benzo diazepam i was originally prescribed and all those that followed kept prescribing and NOT 1 ever told me about any negative effects. NOW I'm addicted thanks to them and now knowing the dangers via youtube, said i want off it and even though i argued it's dangerous to go cold turkey, they made me do it at 70 YRS OLD!! And no-one blinks an eyelid when I'm hospitalised with dangerous phyical medical condition.
    I've given up. Too tired to shout into the wind. Doctors "thinking' about a taper but i can see what they plan is incompetent and dangerous too. Going to let them just kill me now. Nothing to live for, lost famiy, home, finances through bigotry) and doctors pocketing heaps of money while pushing me into oblivion 😢

  12. That's a very important and compassionate message. It's crucial to remember that depression is a legitimate health condition and not a personal failing.

  13. Yet we still blame the victims of this disease by how we write the headlines.

    "Comitted suicide" -As if the victim committed a crime. Same language as "committed murder." This use of language assumes the person did an immoral act, or even had a choice in the matter (we can't even prove empirically that free will exists in healthy brains, much less diseased ones), and it blames them from suffering from the illness

    We even guilt trip them by saying "your family will be hurt" etc, as if the person with the illness should suffer for the sake of others, further showing the depressed person doesn't matter other than how others feel, ignoring how depressed people are suffering, and they don't matter for themselves.

    We can't simultaneously say the person is sick, ergo cannot consent to ending one's life to stop the suffering, yet still blame them for ending their suffering because they "chose" too. Either they have agency or not. Can't have it both ways.

    To be clear, I am NOT for suicide or advocating a person does so. I am just pointing out the hypocrisy around this disease.

    The proper headline is "Person X died of depression" instead of blamimg the victim saying they "did" something.

    Imagine if we said someone who is paralyzed was "choosing" not to walk. Depression is a malfunctioning brain. Expecting the person suffering from it to operate as if their brain worked properly is insane