John Fetterman is sharing his personal mental health story in a new book out Tuesday, hoping to help the millions of others struggling with depression in our country.
In “Unfettered,” the senator from Pennsylvania is honest about a question he posed while on the campaign trail and talked about it to CBS Mornings.
Fetterman said at times, he still thinks about suicide, but what steers him away is the impact he knows it would have on his wife and his kids.
“The most dangerous conversation with yourself in the throes of depression is it convinces you that it’s better for you to leave,” Fetterman told CBS Mornings. “Whoever in your life, they need you. They need you. And it woke me up.”
An excerpt of the new memoir published in The Free Press reveals Fetterman’s raw account of having a stroke four days before winning the U.S. Senate Democratic primary in Pennsylvania in May 2022.
He said he would have died had they not been so close to a hospital in Lancaster County that specializes in strokes, and in fact, “[his] heart stopped for several seconds” during surgery.
Fetterman explained that as he recovered, he couldn’t hear for weeks, and “could communicate only by using a whiteboard and markers.” Once he could speak, he needed to use closed-captioning.
“By then I had to decide, am I going to remain in it or am I going to step aside?” Fetterman told CBS Mornings.
He said he made a pact with himself that if he didn’t get better physically by Aug. 15, 2022, he would drop out of the race. However, he did improve, his polling was strong, and he wrote in his memoir that he was “still confident [he] could show voters there was little impairment as long as [he] used closed-captioning.”
Fetterman then said, “In hindsight, I should have quit.” He was referring to what he called “vicious personal attacks on [his] health” from then-Republican candidate Dr. Mehmet Oz, Fox News, and on social media.
They started to get to his head with his depression continuing after the November victory, for the most part staying in bed until his swearing-in in 2023.
By February 2023, Fetterman said he wasn’t talking to anyone and wasn’t eating, revealing that he moved in with his parents shortly before checking into Walter Reed Hospital for inpatient care for 44 days.
Now, more than two years later, he urges others to keep fighting because he said it’s possible to get to the other side.
“To anyone going through this right now, stay in this game,” Fetterman told CBS Mornings. “I promise if you stay in the game, you will get better, and I’m being here right now is a testament to that.”
KDKA political analyst Jon Delano said that knowing Fetterman all these years, he’s not a quitter, so Delano is not surprised Fetterman pushed forward in the race for Senate.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, you can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You can also chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline here.