Vicki Anderson and her husband, Bob, had been married for 41 years.
Just last year, her husband passed away.
In 2018, Bob was diagnosed with dementia.
“It’s really difficult to see your loved one change and require more care as time goes on,” Vicki said.
Over the last several years, Vicki looked after her him.
Sometimes, it wasn’t easy. She was balancing work and caring for her husband.
“My goal throughout the process was to keep him home, keep him safe, keep him happy,” she said.
Being a caregiver is a unique role.
While it can be rewarding to look after a loved one, it can also be challenging and sometimes lonely.
Doctors say it can also lead to what’s known as “caregiver guilt.”
“Am I doing something wrong or I’m not doing enough,” says Dr. Amit Saini, a geriatric specialist with Kaiser Permanente Fresno. “What that does is it creates a numbness, or I would hold off to my pain and suffering even more until it becomes unbearable, and then the stress start to exude out.”
Dr. Saini says that support groups can help ease the loneliness that caregivers can go through.
For Vicki, she found support, comfort and relief at Valley Caregiver Resource Center’s OASIS Adult Day Program and its support groups.
Her husband also found joy in coming to the center.
“That kept me from having to have someone else to be there 24 hours a day, and even more so than that, it gave him purpose and socialization,” Vicki said.
Dr. Saini adds creating a plan of when to take breaks can also be a benefit.
“I can have a friend provide care for my loved one for three to four hours where I can take a break,” Dr. Saini said.
Recognizing the signs of burnout, whether it’s physical or mental, is also just as important.
“As a caregiver, I must attend to my good health so that I have enough strength to give,” Dr. Saini said. “If I don’t have strength to give, how will I? That is the mindset we need to have.”
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