Parts Work: The SELF in IFS Therapy

Parts Work: The SELF in IFS Therapy

So, an amazing thing happens when you start to notice your parts. When you start to see them and name them and listen to them, there’s this incredible part of you that starts to emerge. And in IFS, it’s called the self with a capital S. Now, the self is the deepest part of you. It holds all of the parts. Kind of like how an ocean holds all of its fishes. The self is who leads, guides, listens to, and comforts each of the parts. And you guys, like this is my favorite part of IFS because like when you can let the self do its work, both your internal and external relationships just have more peace because healing happens when the self leads instead of the protectors. But if the self is different from the parts, what actually is it? So, in No Bad Parts, Dick describes the self as a spiritual essence that’s hard to describe, but easy to experience. When you experience the self, you’re going to notice the eight C’s of self energy. It’s calm. It’s curious. It’s compassionate. It has clarity. It can see situations and parts for what they are. It’s confident. It trusts in its own ability to lead. And it knows what’s right and wrong. It’s courageous. It’s willing to speak the truth and it’s also willing to face pain. It’s creative so it’s resourceful. It’s not so rigid in what it does. It’s also connected. It feels this sense of connectedness to ourselves, to others, and to our internal world as well. Beautiful reality of the self is that even if trauma has fragmented your system and made your parts fight each other, the self is never damaged. The self is always whole. You don’t need to be more calm. A part of you is already calm. You don’t need to be more courageous. A part of you already is courageous. So by its nature, the self is this deep source of healing. You can think of it like the sun. Even when the storm clouds blacken the sky, the sun is there. It’s ready to break through with love and

In IFS, Self isn’t a part of you—
it’s the real you underneath all the noise.
Calm. Curious. Compassionate.
The one who can lead your system with clarity instead of fear.
When protectors step back and exiles feel seen, Self comes forward naturally—
not because you force it, but because safety invites it.
Your healing doesn’t come from becoming someone new.
It comes from reconnecting with who you’ve been all along.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life’s direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c…

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.
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