BRYAN, Texas (KBTX) – After the holidays, feelings of loss, isolation or pressure can intensify, especially for teens and young adults, according to behavioral neuroscientist Dr. D. Ivan Young.
“Everybody’s Christmas is not merry. Everybody’s New Year is not happy,” said Young, who practices as an ICF Master Certified Coach in Houston with clients ranging from CEOs of billion-dollar companies to families and professional athletes.
Dr. Young said one of the most important things to watch for in someone struggling with mental health is what they say and how they say it.
“People tend to mean what they say and to say what they mean,” Dr. Young said. “If they use phrasing words or terminology that basically implies a state of hopelessness, a state of extreme frustration, especially if this problem has been chronic.”
Dr. Young said that even people who appear happy may still be struggling, which is why checking in is important.
He also emphasized the importance of not assuming everyone is okay and creating safe spaces for people to share their struggles.
“Let’s not assume everybody’s okay. And let’s normalize when they’re not okay, creating a safe space for them,” he said.
He suggested asking people how they really are, beyond the typical “I’m good” or “I’m fine” responses.
“You can say, I heard that, but I love you. I care about you. Could you tell me how you really are?” Young explained.
As the new year begins, Dr. Young encourages people to extend compassion not just to others, but to themselves.
“In many instances, we’re much kinder to others than we are to ourselves. We give other people grace that we don’t extend to ourselves,” he said.
Dr. Young, who has written books including “Leading from the Heart” and “Break Up Don’t Break Down,” said people should accept where they are and avoid comparing their lives to what they see on social media.
“Base your life on what you’re living,” he said. “Be very grateful. Be grateful that you are here, that you’re still alive.”
He said connection, gratitude and presence can go a long way and sometimes help save a life.
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