A blunt post by a Gurugram-based startup founder has put the spotlight back on a sensitive subject many Indian families avoid talking about openly — the mental health cost of traditional parenting. Jasveer Singh, co-founder and CEO of Knot Dating, used X to lay out what he described as a deeply flawed parenting system in India, one that prioritises outcomes, social approval and obedience over a child’s individuality and emotional wellbeing.
In a long post, Singh argued that the problem is not cruel parents, but a cycle that has been passed down for generations and rarely questioned. “Indian parenting is pressure cooker parenting. One of the worst models globally. Not because parents are evil. But because the system is broken and no one questions it,” he wrote.
Singh’s post centres on the idea that many Indian parents do not raise children as independent individuals, but as outcomes meant to meet specific goals. According to him, children are often treated as extensions of their parents rather than people with their own interests and limits.
“Most Indian parents didn’t raise children. They raised outcomes,” Singh wrote. He added that key life decisions — from education and careers to lifestyle choices and marriage — are frequently decided by parents, while mental health, curiosity and aptitude are sidelined.
Calling children “owned assets”, Singh said the underlying logic is simple but damaging: “You are my child, you will do what I say.”
The child as a second chanceOne of the strongest claims in the post is that children often become vehicles for their parents’ unfinished ambitions. Singh described this as a quiet transfer of personal regret from one generation to the next.
“Most parents transfer their unfinished dreams directly onto their child. The child becomes a project. A second chance. A retirement plan,” he wrote, clarifying that this happens not because the child wants it, but because the parent could not become it themselves.Failure, shame and social pressureSingh also focused on how failure is handled inside Indian homes. He argued that academic failure is rarely met with concern for the child’s emotional state and is instead treated as a source of shame.
“Failure in India is treated like a crime,” he wrote, adding that parents often worry more about how relatives and society will react than about the child’s wellbeing.
According to him, this creates an unwritten contract that children never agree to, while parents believe they are acting in the child’s best interest, even as they protect their own unresolved fears.
“Questioning is seen as disrespect,” he said, explaining how disagreement turns into guilt and silence becomes safety. Even informed or educated children, he added, are not allowed to challenge authority at home.
Singh linked this style of parenting to wider social behaviour, arguing that homes where questioning is punished rarely produce independent thinkers. “A society where questioning inside the home is punished will never produce questioning thinkers outside it,” he wrote, claiming that compliance is rewarded while asking hard questions is labelled arrogance.
He concluded by saying that while most parents believe they are doing the right thing, the psychological impact on children is real. “Parents think they are doing good – But subconsciously, they are doing damage. Not intentionally. But damage doesn’t care about intent.”
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