Newswise — When people are in the first throes of romantic love, they often describe it as a feeling of euphoria, with physical symptoms like a racing heart and sweaty palms. But it’s not just your heart that reacts when Cupid works his magic.
Brain scans show that when we’re falling in love, the brain’s pleasure centers become very active. These are the same parts of the brain that light up when we enjoy things like good food.
“This activity in the brain releases a flood of feel-good chemicals that fill you with a sense of euphoria and pleasure, which in turn causes those physical reactions like a racing heart and sweaty palms,” says Dr. Gary Small, director of Behavioral Health Breakthrough Therapies at Hackensack Meridian Health. “Your brain is essentially rewarding you for falling in love.”
Mental health experts say those intense feelings come from the most basic, ancient parts of our brain.
When you first fall in love, your brain releases a flood of dopamine, activating your reward system and making you feel euphoric and motivated. This intense rush is nature’s way of rewarding you for finding a potential partner, focusing your attention and energy on this person to encourage reproduction.
As the relationship matures, the brain chemistry shifts to promote long-term bonding, which is crucial for raising children and mutual support. Different hormones, mainly oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and vasopressin, take over. Released during physical contact and intimacy, these chemicals foster deep feelings of attachment, security, and calmness, transforming the initial passionate drive into a strong, lasting bond designed for long-term commitment.
At the same time, your body releases stress hormones, which is why love can feel like a crisis in the beginning.
This process can lower the levels of another chemical that regulates your mood, leading to those obsessive, can’t-stop-thinking-about-them thoughts.
However, when we’re falling in love, the brain actually quiets the wiring responsible for negative emotions and making critical judgments. The part of your brain that you use to assess other people, potentially seeing red flags, essentially takes a break. This allows us to bond with a new partner without being overly critical of their flaws. Your brain is basically prioritizing the connection over criticism.
“So it turns out there’s actually some scientific truth to the saying that ‘love is blind,’” Dr. Small explains. “Studies show that certain parts of our brain shut down when we’re in love.”
Studies show that many people in long-term marriages can have the same activity in their brain’s pleasure centers as someone who just fell in love.
For couples who feel they’ve settled into a routine, that early flame can absolutely be reignited says Dr. Small.
“After a year or two, the stress of that initial phase fades, and the love you feel becomes more of a comfort. But that doesn’t mean the spark has to die,” Dr. Small says.
Gina Radice-Vella, chief psychologist at Jersey Shore University Medical Center, agrees.
“To sustain this level of passion over time, it is important to keep the brain’s reward system active and online,” says Radice-Vella. “We can do this by pursuing novel activities with our partner or engaging in shared pleasurable activities.”
“Being physically close can release those bonding hormones and reactivate the brain’s pleasure centers,” Dr. Small says, “helping bring back some of that early excitement.”
In sum, psychologist Robert Sternberg’s model of “Triangular Theory of Love,” proposes that love is composed of three fundamental components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
“The combination of these three components produce different types of love,” notes supervising psychologist and relationship expert Tara Lally of Ocean University Medical Center. “For example, ‘romantic love’ is a blend of intimacy and passion, while “companionate love’ is a blend of intimacy and commitment. According to Sternberg, ‘consummate love’ involves all three components and is considered the strongest and most enduring, though also rare.”
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