Just like any other 12-year-old attracted to video games, Rishi* enjoyed multiplayer games where participants could talk to each other through chat and voice features. Over time, the conversations continued on social media platforms and before long, he was spending 10 to 12 hours a day online. Rishi posted pictures, responded to others’ posts, checked who liked his content and wondered why some people didn’t. His more curious and adventurous friends drew him into discussions that weren’t age-appropriate and made premature adulting look cool.
Slowly, Rishi withdrew from his real world. He started skipping school, his academic performance deteriorated and he eventually failed his examinations. At home, he stopped interacting with his parents. Even when they tried to talk to him, he would react aggressively. That’s when his parents brought him to Dr Yatan Pal Singh Balhara, professor of Psychiatry at the All-India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), Delhi. “This is not an isolated case. Children and adolescents are experiencing negative consequences due to social media. That is a known fact now. We can’t deny it,” he says, endorsing the recent efforts by several state governments to adopt digital curfews so that children can sharpen their learning, adaptive and life skills ability instead of being numbed by addiction.
Karnataka is considering banning social media for children below 16 years of age while Andhra Pradesh has proposed restricting it for those under 13 — moves similar to recent measures discussed in countries such as Australia, France and Spain.
Dr Rajesh Sagar, professor of child psychiatry, AIIMS, explains that excessive screen or social media use among children should not be viewed as a standalone problem. “Screen addiction is often a symptom of deeper psychological or environmental issues affecting the child. There may be underlying conditions like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), anxiety, depression, emotional distress or behavioural problems. Without addressing these issues, children may turn to screens and social media as a coping mechanism. Therefore, focussing only on reducing screen time without addressing these root causes may not effectively solve the problem,” he says.
Why adolescence is habit-forming
Dr Balhara says adolescence is the time when the brain is still maturing, so behaviours adopted during this time often shape long-term habits. “Once you become used to indulging in a specific behaviour during those years, it becomes very hard to change later,” he says. Also, dependence on one form of communication, in this case social media, can replace other important developmental experiences. “If children spend most of their time online, they may miss out on interacting with people in face-to-face settings. Those are very different communication skills that need to be learned while growing up,” explains Dr Balhara. Without those experiences, young adults may struggle later with interviews, conversations and social confidence. “You may find it difficult to communicate, to assert yourself or even to face people,” he adds.
The trap of online validation
Social media acceptance shapes how teens see themselves in the mirror. “Rishi was always comparing his life with what he saw others doing. Yet what children see online is only a snapshot of someone’s life — a moment captured in a picture or a short video. They don’t see the rest of that person’s life. To a young user, however, it appears as though everyone else is happy and successful while they are not. That comparison becomes very hard for them to cope with,” says Dr Balhara. Another emerging problem is online exclusion. “If friends remove someone from groups or exclude them online, it becomes a major psychological challenge,” he adds.
As Rishi devalued himself, he began neglecting basic self-care. “He wasn’t bathing or brushing his teeth properly. By the time I saw him, he was showing symptoms of depression, including sadness, lack of motivation and loss of interest in activities,” adds Dr Balhara.
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Understanding triggers
Dr Sagar notes that loneliness is one of the most common drivers behind excessive screen use. For example, children who struggle to make friends or feel socially isolated may turn to social media to create virtual connections in place of real ones. In some families, both parents may be working, or there may be frequent conflicts at home. “Such an environment can contribute to emotional distress in children, pushing them toward screens where they find temporary comfort or distraction,” he says.
That emotional cushion is so strong that when parents try to regulate their behaviour, children often react strongly. “Sometimes they even become physically aggressive because they want to continue using their phones,” says Dr Sagar.
The relationship between mental health issues and screen use is often bi-directional. In some cases, emotional problems or vulnerabilities push children toward excessive social media use. At the same time, prolonged and uncontrolled screen use can worsen mental health by disrupting sleep, appetite and emotional stability. “Because of this two-way relationship, it is difficult to determine whether the screen use is the cause of the problem or the result of it,” adds Dr Balhara.
Is a ban the solution?
While Dr Balhara believes the problem must be addressed, he says a blanket ban may not be a complete solution. “We need a more measured approach. One concern is enforcement. If children can create fake accounts or access social media through alternative methods, you might end up creating a parallel system that is outside regulation,” he said.
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Another risk is that once a ban is imposed, people may assume the issue has been resolved. “But children will also be accessing these platforms for awareness, dialogue and sharing notes. We are dealing with multiple behaviours—excessive smartphone use, internet use, gaming and even online gambling,” he said. If one platform becomes inaccessible, children may simply shift to another,” he adds.
What parents should do
Dr Balhara suggests that whenever children use screens, he suggests asking three questions: how much time, at what time and for what purpose. “It cannot be that you simply hand over the device and allow the child to decide everything,” he says. Parents should also monitor the type of content children access. “There is nothing wrong with supervising what children are doing online. Move away from ‘brain rot’ content but help them adopt social media for forming study groups, hobby groups or community initiatives. This way you can break the addiction loop and align social media with the real world,” he adds.
He advises against using screens as a behavioural tool. “I have seen parents giving their children phones so that they eat their food quietly. But after some time, the child refuses to eat unless the screen is there. Don’t make the phone a reward tool.”
Dr Sagar argues that solutions should focus on the broader ecosystem surrounding the child rather than just restricting devices. Parents should model healthy digital behaviour, set reasonable limits that they follow too, and create screen-free spaces such as bedrooms or dining areas. “They should engage children in physical activities, games, and meaningful interactions, while also identifying and addressing any emotional or behavioural difficulties the child may be experiencing. Fragment the digital engagement, so that the lived experience holds equal attention,” he says.
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As the digital world grows bigger than the real one, the challenge is to confine technology to being a tool rather than a trap.
(*Name changed to protect privacy)