How to Actually Change

Stopping impulsive reactions isn’t easy, in fact it can feel like you’re working backwards.
But your awareness of those impulses is powerful, and a practice of noticing and having curiosity towards those impulses is exactly how you start to change.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life’s direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c…

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

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26 Comments

  1. This morning a neighbor gave me some advice about dealing with our landlord, and then invited me to visit him at work to talk more. When I visited him, I used the tip he'd suggested — and he noticed, gave me props for it!! The landlord is very much a controlling narcissist who takes issue with how I dress, what I carry (as a purse/bag), and then some. It's so crazy 😭

  2. Currently using the " Noticing " method to be aware of my nervous system,

    I catch myself alot holding my breath even when i dont want to..i realize this right when my body starts to tense around my chest, shoulders, torso ,legs and toes., pulses around my facial nerves.

    The moment i start to feel these uncomfortable feelings, i pause ,seat upright, take a deep belly breath and slowly release through the mouth.

    I know some of my triggers, i am glad i finally can notice these… but what i don't know is how long does this take to heal completely. This affects me greatly and i like to think that its anxiety or so.

  3. Does YouTube automatically speed up your videos or is that how you are really talking? I literally cant focus on anything you're saying because of the speed. Added to rhe cheerful disposition while talking about a lot of serious stuff, I sadly might unsubscribe.

  4. Thank you so much for this. It took me years to realize what you are describing. I always felt like such a failure because I couldn't just make a concrete change, but I was always just expecting myself to fully change suddenly. Now I can see the progress I've actually made now visualized through these steps as you have outlined ❤❤❤

  5. Yeeee I now the filing it who's very weird and scary at first but as time passes I learned to control my aggression social anxieties and my reactivity to strong sounds now I better at setting boundaries and controlling my life but still in the process thanks for the videos🙏🙏🙏🙏

  6. That's so helpful. I'm indeed a little upset that even if I know how to do, I still behave the same each time I'm triggered: such as anger followed by sadness/grief.