As the cost of living continues to climb, many families are feeling the pressure at grocery stores and gas pumps. A Steinbach-area counsellor says how parents talk about those rising expenses can have a lasting impact on their children.
Michelle Peters of Beyond the Valley Counseling shares practical strategies for discussing financial stress without creating fear or anxiety at home.
Modelling calm in stressful moments
Peters says one of the most important things parents can do is be mindful of their own reactions when faced with higher prices.
“Kids take their cues from us,” she explains. “So a phrase that I like to use is, we need to lend them our calm. So if we are calm, that’s what they will pick up on. If we are anxious, that’s what they will pick up on.”
She notes that everyday situations like grocery shopping can quickly become teachable moments. Rather than reacting with alarm or frustration when prices are higher than expected, Peters encourages parents to pause and choose their words carefully.
“It’s easy to just have that gut reaction of like, ‘oh my goodness,’” she says. “That kind of verbiage will cause kids to pick up on the anxiety.”
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Teaching kids about choices, not fear
Instead of using phrases like “we can’t afford that,” Peters recommends reframing conversations in a way that gives children a sense of control and understanding.
For younger children, that can be as simple as explaining that certain purchases are “not the best choice we can make with our money right now.” She also suggests involving kids in small decisions at the store.
“Okay, this week we can buy cereal or we can buy chips as maybe a treat, or whatever. And which one would you like to choose?” she gives as an example.
That approach helps children learn the difference between wants and needs, while also giving them a sense of participation.
“By giving them that agency to choose, it also teaches them… what do we need to put in our grocery cart,” Peters adds.
She says these conversations can naturally lead to bigger lessons about saving and trade-offs, such as choosing between a treat now or saving money for a future family activity.
Avoiding confusion around money
Peters also points out that children often misunderstand financial situations when they lack context.
She shares a personal childhood memory of being told there was no money for a fast-food outing, only to later see her parent pay with a large bill.
“As kids, we were like, what on earth?” she recalls. “We didn’t have the concept of… she probably has to pay the hydro bill with that $100.”
Those moments, she says, highlight the importance of clear and consistent messaging when talking about finances with children.
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Managing reactions at the gas pump
With fuel prices fluctuating, Peters says the same principles apply when filling up the tank.
“It’s really about being aware and then just taking that breath to centre yourself,” she says.
One strategy she uses personally is adjusting expectations ahead of time.
“When I need to go and fill up, I just mentally go, okay, it’s probably going to jump,” she explains. “And then I’m like, oh, okay, that’s a little more palatable.”
Parents can also involve children in problem-solving by discussing ways to reduce costs, such as combining errands or carpooling.
Facing financial anxiety head-on
Beyond conversations with children, Peters says adults also need to be mindful of how they talk to themselves about money.
“A big piece of this is just knowledge,” she says. “Having the knowledge about what is actually coming into your bank account and what is actually going out.”
She acknowledges that many people avoid reviewing their finances because it feels overwhelming, but says that avoidance often increases anxiety.
“The best way to actually decrease that anxiety is to sit down regularly and look over your bank accounts,” she says.
Creating a budget and tracking spending can help reduce impulse purchases and provide a clearer picture of where adjustments can be made.
“If you have categories for spending, it actually cuts down on the impulse buying,” Peters notes.
Getting creative and involving the family
In some cases, Peters says families may need to explore additional sources of income or new ways of managing expenses.
“This is a beautiful place where you can also bring your kids… into it,” she says, pointing to ideas like side jobs, home-based businesses, gardening, or even bartering.
She adds that involving older children in these discussions can help them build valuable life skills while contributing to solutions.
Challenging worst-case thinking
Peters also addresses the tendency for financial stress to spiral into worst-case scenarios.
“If you find yourself catastrophizing… it’s about stopping that thought and then challenging it,” she says.
Instead of assuming the worst, she encourages people to look for practical alternatives, such as payment plans or temporary solutions.
“It’s about challenging and then grounding yourself back into reality,” she adds.
Reaching out for support
For those feeling overwhelmed, Peters emphasizes the importance of seeking help.
“If you are finding that you are just really struggling… reach out to other people,” she says.
She points to local resources such as the Steinbach Family Resource Centre, churches, and professional counselling services as places where individuals can find support with budgeting and emotional well-being.
Peters also notes that financial anxiety can sometimes be rooted in past experiences, such as childhood poverty or instability, and may require deeper reflection or professional support.
Extending grace during difficult times
Above all, Peters says it is important for individuals and families to be patient with themselves as they navigate financial challenges.
“The one thing that I always like to remind people is give yourself grace,” she says. “Be gentle with yourself. Things will work out. They always do.”
-Written with files from Corny Rempel.