For many of us in the military, veteran and Gold Star communities, the avoidable fatal shooting of Alex LaMorie on March 1, at Patuxent Commons in Columbia has left us questioning how this happened on the same day Gov. Wes Moore proclaimed March as Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month. Alex, who was autistic, reportedly experienced a mental health crisis triggered by a cyber scam and placed a call to 911 seeking help. Less than 30 minutes later, the encounter ended with responding officers lethally shooting him.
Patuxent Commons represented a hopeful model for families raising children with autism. For years, Howard County publicized it as an innovative, independent living community in a safe town for autistic adults, often highlighting its collaborative development as a source of pride. What happened to Alex seems severely misaligned with the stated governance and values of Howard County, especially their police department’s expressed foundational shift from a “warrior” to “guardian” mentality — prioritizing empathy and trauma-informed policing over force-centric policing. For many of us, Alex’s homicide has left us deeply disturbed, offending the values for which we or our family members have served. It has caused a profound sense of mistrust, a search for answers and prompting questions about living, working, being stationed or retiring in Maryland, especially if we are disabled or have children or family members with disabilities.
The body camera footage reveals deeply troubling details. Why were officers not equipped with non-lethal tools? At one point, one officer asks another casually if he brought his Taser. Where was it? When you fail to equip yourself with non-lethal options, you back yourself into a corner with only deadly force available — hardly a demonstration of forward-thinking officers or leadership who state they were Crisis Intervention Team trained. It’s shameful for a behavioral-health-promoting county.
When officers encountered Alex outside, he was totally alone, holding only a small kitchen knife by his side. Four officers had their guns drawn on him. Why such a show of force? How was this proportional to the situation? Alex expressed that he was in pain and wanted to end his life. Individuals with autism and those in acute suicidal crises often cannot process information clearly, manage pain or respond effectively under extreme distress. The burden of care falls heavily on trained responders to use sound judgment and crisis intervention to prevent harm. Many officers do so with remarkable skill, often at great personal risk.
It is horrifying to watch Alex approach the officers, who, in our view, were ill-prepared, made poor judgments, failed to use best practices in crisis response and created an unsafe environment. Witnessing officers open fire on Alex when he does not threaten or raise a knife toward anyone is deeply jarring. For those of us who have served in dangerous or combat situations, it is difficult to comprehend why four officers in protective gear could not safely disarm one vulnerable man carrying a small kitchen knife.
We respect the challenging and often dangerous work of law enforcement as well as understand the pressures of high-stress decision-making. But those entrusted with the authority to use force must be trained to assess threat levels, evaluate proportional risk and employ non-lethal options before resorting to deadly force. Sound leadership, effective training and disciplined judgment are essential. When failures occur, the consequences extend far beyond a single incident, affecting families, communities, public safety and the people institutions are sworn to protect and serve.
Accountability exists to support law enforcement. It recognizes good work, models transparency, admits failures and strengthens public trust through continual improvement. Ethical leaders take responsibility for those under their command. We call on the state of Maryland and Howard County to evaluate accountability in the crisis response to Alex on March 1, examining not only the moment deadly force was used, but the entirety of the system and circumstances leading up to it. Alex was a member of our community, but he could be a member of any community. Vulnerable individuals, including those with disabilities and in suicidal crisis, deserve dignity, protection, appropriate care and prudent responses — not responses that treat their lives as less valuable. Research shows they are disproportionately represented in fatal police encounters, accounting for one-third of such deaths nationwide.
Suicide is a public health crisis in the United States, with service members, veterans and first responders facing elevated risks. We can and must do better to leave no one and no family behind. This must be a practice, not merely a slogan.
Amy Stoddard is a Gold Star surviving spouse (Maryland Native James Stoddard Jr., Sergeant First Class, U.S. Army, Bronze Star Medal with Oak Leaf Cluster, KIA during Operation Enduring Freedom in 2005) and mother of a teenager with autism. Danielle Charles is a Gold Star surviving spouse (Senior Airman Gilnord Charles, U.S. Air Force, Air National Guard Veteran and Baltimore Police Department Academy), chapter president of Gold Star Spouses of Aberdeen and the mother of a child with special needs.
This commentary is submitted with:
Kim Burditt Bartlett — Surviving Sibling, U.S. Marine Corps Veteran Jon D.S. Hoffman who died by suicide (2010)
Jessica Byrd — Gold Star Surviving Spouse of LCpl John Bryd, U.S. Marine Corps, KIA OIF (2004)
Elizabeth F. Davis — Gold Star Surviving Spouse, 1stLt Matthew R. Davis, U.S. Marine Corps (2014)
CAPT Stephen J. and Mrs. Michelle Delanty — U.S. Navy (Ret.), USNA Class of ‘93
Cheryl H. Dodson — Gold Star Surviving Spouse, Capt. Michael Dodson, Raider 21, U.S. Air Force (2008)
Brian W. Flynn, Ed.D. — Rear Admiral, Assistant Surgeon General, U.S. Public Health Service (Ret.)
Malia Fry — Gold Star Spouse of GySgt. John David Fry, U.S. Marine Corps, Purple Heart Recipient, KIA OIF (2006). The Fry Scholarship named by Congress for surviving military children and spouses through the Post-9/11 GI Bill.
Capt. Charles G. Grow — U.S. Marine Corps (Ret.), Combat Veteran
2LT Teresa D. Grow — U.S. Army Veteran
Weston Haycock — Gold Star Surviving Son of both Sgt. 1st Class Jeffrey Haycock, U.S. Army (2002), Senior Airman Nichole Haycock, U.S. Air Force (2011)
MGySgt John D. Lewis, U.S. Marine Corps, Combat Wounded, Purple Heart Recipient
SGT Federico Ruiz, U.S. Army Search Rescue, 9/11 Responder, Veteran; U.S Capitol Police (Ret.), Congressional Gold Medal Recipient
COL Jeffrey T. Sickinger, U.S. Army (Ret.), OIF (2005-2006; 2011), OEF (2015; 2019)
LTC James Winland, U.S. Army (Ret.), West Point Class of ‘97, OEF (2012-2013; 2015)
SSGT Adam Workman, U.S. Airforce (Ret.), Firefighter First Responder
1SG Steve Workman, U.S. Army (Ret.), 9/11 Pentagon Survivor, Soldier’s Medal of Honor Recipient
**There are too many more to include.