ROANOKE, Va. (WDBJ) – Many men face the expectation of being a provider physically, mentally and financially. Typically, providers don’t voice their needs, but that mindset is changing thanks to people like licensed professional counselor Drew Edwards.
“As our culture has changed some lines of gender and orientations, some of that has been blurred, and some of it has just been more accepted, which I think is great,” Edwards said. “But I do think there’s just a tradition of showing certain signs, showing certain emotions is not seen as masculine, not seen as helpful, not seen as strong.”
Warning signs
Pulling away and the inability to engage with family and friends are warning signs. A dip in connection, productivity or isolation can all be telling signs a man is going through mental challenges he isn’t comfortable speaking about, Edwards said.
However, when they finally take that leap and seek therapy, the walls start comfortably coming down.
“The floodgates can open and like, I haven’t talked about this with anybody before,” Edwards said. “This is a little more comfortable than I thought it might be. There can be some awkwardness the first couple of meetings, but many people are sort of ready.”
Common issues
The most common issues men seek help for are relationship stress, breakdowns in communication with their partner and poor stress management, Edwards said. Men also need help balancing the pressures of work and family.
The first step to receiving help is recognizing it’s needed and being comfortable and open to that idea.
Edwards encourages taking baby steps at first, like taking one thing off your plate.
“So do something small and feasible,” Edwards said. “And then you can build on that. So I think, you know, in that world where we feel like there’s no reason to do anything, or I don’t even have any time to try to do this. Hopefully in the middle there, we can say, okay, I recognize something and I can see why it’s happening. Then I’d like to do something about that.”
Edwards said it’s important to find an outlet for those who feel like they’re hitting a wall and haven’t gone to therapy yet or are planning to. Find someone you trust, like a partner, family member or another man who will speak truth to you and understands what you’re dealing with. Also find a hobby or places where you can be unrestrained and pour joy into yourself.
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