Picture this: You’re at a lavish villa in Fiji, where you form an immediate connection with a guy who seems really into you. You’re vibing, getting to know each other, and, while it’s still early days, appear to be a match made in heaven… that is, until some new contestants arrive and test your connection. Things turn lowkey toxic with you and that guy you were initially into, so America votes to pair him with someone else, leaving you devastated and alone.
Truthfully, it would be enough to make many people crash out (or, have a meltdown, for those unfamiliar with Love Island USA-speak) — and that’s exactly what some viewers think has been happening to Season 8 contestant Melanie Moreno. The 24-year-old, Los Angeles-based bikini store manager has emerged as one of the season’s most divisive contestants. While Moreno has been embroiled in some of the season’s most dramatic moments so far, it’s her responses to these situations — looping on a certain phrase, suddenly tuning into trees — that have caught the attention of viewers. Some have wondered if Moreno is having a breakdown, but others, including one therapist, see something else.
While Moreno’s critics are steadfast in their belief that she lacks emotional stability, some viewers are arguing otherwise: Moreno isn’t having a crashout. She’s actually taking the steps to prevent one.
Her odd phrases and sudden withdrawals? Well, those are real methods that therapists recommend to help people calm down in anxiety-inducing situations. To some viewers, it’s refreshing to see grounding in action, on reality television. For others, Moreno’s attempts at putting her mind at ease seem excessive.
“She seems to be somebody that does experience emotions pretty intensely, but she’s still making efforts to manage them in a healthy way,” Katie Reagan, an associate marriage and family therapist who has a series on TikTok analyzing Love Island USA scenes, told Yahoo. “There’s such a difference between being emotional and being emotionally dysregulated.”
‘Give me 10’: Spiraling or asking for space?
It’s no coincidence that Moreno’s viral phrases come up in emotionally charged moments — including ones that she arguably caused.
Despite being coupled up with Rhea, Moreno was the first to pull Corbin Mims, a bombshell (or a new arrival, for the uninitiated), for a chat after his Episode 4 arrival. Fellow islander, Beatriz Hatz, confronted Moreno. Despite Moreno’s apology, the conversation devolved and she walked off, turning instead to Kayda Bosse for comfort. But Bosse — who was mid-conversation with Zach Georgiou, and already fighting with Moreno — turned Moreno away, just as islander Aniya Harvey chased her down.
Moreno declined to engage with Harvey, repeatedly uttering her now-viral line: “Give me 10, give me 10.”
The phrase might have sounded strange, but it was “a healthy timeout,” according to Reagan. “It seems like she’s beginning to get flooded. You can kind of tell her tone changes. She gets uncomfortable, she wants to stand up from the firepit,” Reagan explained of Moreno’s conversation with Hatz. Flooded, for those unfamiliar, is therapy-speak for feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Moreno’s attempt to talk to Bosse was also an effort to find calm, Reagan said. “That in and of itself is her trying to coregulate,” or seek support from another person to help regulate her emotions, Reagan explained. “When she wasn’t able to get that coregulation, she moved on to self-regulation, which is her saying, ‘Give me 10.’”
Rather than remain in an overwhelming situation, Moreno recognizes that she needs to distance herself from it to avoid reaching her breaking point. She needs a moment, so she takes it — though not everyone was on board with how she handled herself. Some viewers felt that Moreno had gotten unnecessarily defensive and that her reaction was uncalled for.
Why was Moreno stating the obvious (“trees are green”)?
After taking her “10,” and sat down to talk to Harvey one-on-one. Moreno was still out of sorts, but rather than letting those feelings take over, she began naming things that she noticed around her. “The trees are green,” she said as she looked up.
“I did see it as a grounding moment for her,” Reagan said. “When somebody’s really emotionally activated, their brain can just become totally consumed by what’s happening, what’s going to happen next, what it means about them, what it means about their relationship.”
In fact, she appeared to be using a textbook grounding technique called the five senses exercise. By refocusing her attention on her immediate surroundings, Moreno interrupts the cycle of rumination. She actively chooses not to engage with her intrusive thoughts and instead turns her attention to something else — something more concrete, factual and less emotionally triggering. In doing this, Moreno brings herself back into the “window of tolerance” or the zone in which she can think more clearly and respond more intentionally, Reagan explained.
“She’s trying to bring herself back to the moment and not spiral and not cry and have that big reaction that would have made things harder for her,” she added.
On TikTok, Love Island USA viewers who are familiar with the five senses exercise have applauded Moreno.”The second Melanie started talking about the trees I saw the representation I needed,” a TikToker named Taylor wrote. Others have also chimed in, leaving similar comments on Taylor’s video.
“Everyone hating on her hurts,” one user commented. “It’s so clear she has suffered with her mental health and feels things very deeply. Sometimes she’s reactive initially but she seems so kind and tries hard to stay calm.”
Another added, “She’s [doing] an amazing job. I’ve picked up on so many coping skills she’s been utilizing and it’s been making me so emotional, I really see her and understand her.”
Was Moreno’s solo sleep under the stars for show or for sanity?
Episodes 10 and 11 saw Moreno sleeping alone in Soul Ties, a private, outdoor bed in the villa, after the recoupling that separated her from Rhea. It’s unusual for a contestant to sleep by themselves — let alone, outside — especially when they’re supposed to be sharing a bed with the person they’re partnered with (Mims, in Moreno’s case). And while some viewers saw Moreno’s decision to sleep solo as a much-needed break from the chaos, others labeled her choice as “pick me” and performative.
Whether Moreno chose to sleep alone as a means of prioritizing her mental health or because she wanted to elicit reactions from certain islanders isn’t totally clear.
“From what I’ve seen, at least in [Sunday’s] episode, it seems like it was more of a quiet decision that she made that was really respectful,” Reagan said of Moreno, before acknowledging that her actual intentions can’t be deduced from these episodes alone.
But it raises a question reverberating through pop culture: Now that therapy-speak is mainstream, how can anyone distinguish between genuine distress and performance? “We’re walking an interestingly thin line between, ‘Is she doing this because she needs that space or is she doing it because she’s trying to prove a point to someone?’” Reagan said. “It’s hard because you can’t label what her motives are.”
So, what’s the verdict? Is Moreno the performative crash-out queen the internet is painting her to be? Or is she simply self-regulating as best she can?
Well, she continues to face backlash from viewers who believe she’s weaponizing her emotions for personal gain in the villa. And while Reagan assesses Moreno to be a highly emotional person, the islander also appears to be tapping into her repertoire of therapy-coded coping mechanisms as a means of regulating those emotions.
Those tools, Reagan explained, are inherently visible, so it makes sense that Love Island USA viewers are picking up on them. But that doesn’t automatically make them inauthentic. On-camera grounding techniques might even help fans who find themselves overwhelmed by the Love Island USA drama — or anything else in their lives.
“It’s just kind of a situation where I don’t think she’s going to capture 100% of people’s support,” Reagan said. “She’s doing what feels right to her and what’s going to be the best in terms of her own regulation in the moment, based on what she knows how to do.” And really, what more can any of us do than our best?