When youth sports stop being fun: signs your child may be feeling too much pressure
THE CAUSE OF THAT FIRE CONTINUES TO BE UNDER INVESTIGATION. SUMMER YOUTH LEAGUES ARE NOW IN FULL SWING ACROSS MASSACHUSETTS. PLAYING SPORTS IS ALWAYS A GREAT IDEA FOR KIDS. IT CAN ALSO CREATE A LOT OF PRESSURE. JOINING US NOW TO TALK ABOUT THIS IS DOCTOR KEVIN SIMONI, A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST AT BOSTON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL, AND THE CHIEF BEHAVIORAL HEALTH OFFICER FOR THE CITY OF BOSTON. GREAT TO SEE YOU. GREAT TO SEE YOU, DOCTOR. ON A RAINY ON A RAINY MONDAY AFTERNOON. GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL, TOO. WHEN WHEN CAN IS THERE A POINT THAT PLAYING SPORTS CAN ACTUALLY CROSS THE LINE FROM BEING FUN TO ANXIETY INDUCING? YEAH. YOU KNOW, SO THE WORLD CUP IS CURRENTLY IN PLAY AND GOOD LUCK TO USA. I THINK SPORTS, AS WE CAN SEE, GENERALLY BRING JOY, DISCIPLINE, FRIENDSHIP, COMPETITIVENESS. BUT IT CAN IT ACTUALLY BE ANXIETY INDUCING? IT CAN, BUT IT SHOULD NOT. RIGHT. SO IF SPORTS ARE CAUSING A YOUNG PERSON TO FEEL LIKE THEIR WORLD IS GETTING SMALLER RATHER THAN LARGER, CAUSING THEM TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, UPSET STOMACH, LOOSE SLEEP, YOU KNOW, IF THEY START EVEN VERBALIZING SOME NEGATIVE LANGUAGE, LIKE I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE HERE IF I HAVE TO GO TO PRACTICE, THEN A PARENT SHOULD GENERALLY BE CONCERNED. BUT GENERALLY SPORTS ARE A HEALTHY THING. WE WANT KIDS TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY WITH EACH OTHER. THE REALITY IS, THAT’S HOW WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO NAVIGATE BEING AN ADULT, RIGHT? RIGHT, RIGHT. WHEN IT COMES TO PRACTICING OR FOCUSING ON ONE SPORT, HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? YEAH. SO THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION. AND I’M GOING TO HEDGE A BIT HERE FOR TOMORROW, I BELIEVE IS THE NBA DRAFT. AND WE HAVE A REGIONAL PERSON A.J. THE BAY STATE. HOPEFULLY HE’S NUMBER ONE RIGHT. HIS PARENTS MADE A DECISION OF KIND OF FOCUSING ON ON BASKETBALL. AND THAT PROVED TO BE BENEFICIAL. HOWEVER, THERE ARE MANY OTHER FAMILIES WHERE POTENTIALLY FOCUSING ON ONE THING MAY NOT BE IN ALIGNMENT WITH THE WITH THE YOUNG PERSON, RIGHT? SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE SPORT THAT IS CHOSEN, BE IT SOCCER, BASEBALL, FOOTBALL, BASKETBALL, SWIMMING IS SOMETHING THAT THE YOUNG PERSON ACTUALLY FINDS ENJOYABLE AND STILL WANTS TO PURSUE IT, EVEN WITH THE MANY HOURS OF PRACTICE THAT IT MIGHT ENTAIL. BUT IF YOU RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR YOUNG PERSON IS RECOGNIZING THAT THEY DON’T WANT TO PURSUE IT, AND THEY FEEL LIKE THIS IS BECAUSE MOM WANTS ME, OR DAD WANTS ME, OR SOMEBODY ELSE IS KIND OF NAVIGATING THEIR DECISIONS THAT THAT’S CONCERNING. SO, DOCTOR SIMONE, WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS THAT PARENTS SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR TO KNOW IF THEIR CHILD IS IS STILL PLAYING FOR FUN OR JUST TRYING TO SATISFY EXTERNAL PRESSURES, LIKE YOU WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT? YEAH. SO, SO AGAIN, I THINK THIS GOES BACK TO, YOU KNOW, THE JOY PIECE, RIGHT? EVEN SO, I PLAYED BASKETBALL. THERE’S ONE RIGHT ABOVE ME. DID I LIKE GOING EVERY PRACTICE? CERTAINLY NOT. HOWEVER, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT I ENJOY GOING TO PRACTICE BECAUSE I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO PLAY IN THE GAME. AND I THINK FOR MANY YOUNG PEOPLE THAT ARE PARTICIPATING IN ATHLETIC SPORTS, ARE THEY GOING TO BE TIMES WHERE, YOU KNOW, THEIR TOE HURTS OR THEIR KNEE HURTS? POTENTIALLY, YES. BUT IF OVERALL THEY DO RECOGNIZE THAT THEY WANT TO GET BETTER AT IT, AND IT IS SOMETHING THAT THEY’RE WILLING TO PURSUE, JUST LIKE SOMEONE WHO PLAYS THE PIANO OR PRACTICES THE GUITAR, GENERALLY, IT’S, IT’S HEALTHY AND GOOD. IF A CHILD IS NOW STRAINING AND FAINTING THAT, YOU KNOW, I’M AGAIN, HEADACHE, STOMACH ACHE, AND REALLY THROWING SIGNIFICANT TANTRUM IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE PURSUIT OF THE SPORT, THEN IT AT LEAST BEGS THE QUESTION, OKAY, WHY MIGHT MY CHILD BE TANTRUMING? IS IT THAT SOMEONE MADE FUN OF THEM, DID SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE HAPPEN? SO THERE ARE TIMES WHERE YOU WANT TO DO A LITTLE BIT BIT OF INVESTIGATION BEFORE WE JUST SAY, OKAY, YES, LET’S JUST STOP THE SPORT ALTOGETHER BECAUSE SPORTS GENERALLY ARE A GOOD WAY TO HELP KEEP SOMEONE ACTUALLY LOW ANXIETY, LOWER THE DEPRESSION RATE. SO I WOULD SAY SPORTS OVERALL ARE THE THINGS TO PURSUE. SO HAVE THE CONVERSATION AND JUST MAKE SURE YOU’RE AWARE OF ALL OF THOSE SIGNS. DOCTOR SIMONE, T
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Summer sports leagues are in full swing across Massachusetts, giving kids opportunities to stay active, build friendships and develop new skills. But while sports can be a positive part of childhood, experts say parents should also watch for signs that competition and expectations are creating more stress than enjoyment.Dr. Kevin Simon, a child psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital and chief behavioral health officer for the city of Boston, noted that sports can provide important life lessons.”Sports generally bring joy, discipline, friendship, competitiveness,” he said. “But if sports are causing a young person to feel like their world is getting smaller rather than larger, a parent should generally be concerned.”According to Simon, one of the biggest warning signs is when a child begins showing physical or emotional symptoms tied to their sport. That can include trouble sleeping, frequent stomachaches, headaches, or negative comments about practices and games.”If they start even verbalizing some negative language, like, ‘I wouldn’t want to be here if I have to go to practice,’ then a parent should generally be concerned,” Simon said. While some athletes thrive by concentrating on one activity, the most important factor is whether the child genuinely enjoys it.”You have to make sure that the sport that is chosen is something that the young person actually finds enjoyable,” he said.What parents should watch forOngoing complaints of headaches or stomachaches before practices or gamesTrouble sleeping related to sports participationFrequent emotional outbursts or tantrums about attending practicesSigns that a child feels pressured by adults rather than motivated by personal interestA noticeable loss of joy in the activitySimon emphasized that it’s normal for kids to occasionally resist practice or feel disappointed after a tough game. The key is looking at the overall pattern.”If overall they do recognize that they want to get better at it, and it is something they’re willing to pursue, generally it’s healthy and good,” he said.Parents who notice persistent anxiety, physical symptoms, or major behavioral changes may want to start a conversation with their child — and seek professional help if concerns continue.
NEEDHAM, Mass. —
Summer sports leagues are in full swing across Massachusetts, giving kids opportunities to stay active, build friendships and develop new skills. But while sports can be a positive part of childhood, experts say parents should also watch for signs that competition and expectations are creating more stress than enjoyment.
Dr. Kevin Simon, a child psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital and chief behavioral health officer for the city of Boston, noted that sports can provide important life lessons.
“Sports generally bring joy, discipline, friendship, competitiveness,” he said. “But if sports are causing a young person to feel like their world is getting smaller rather than larger, a parent should generally be concerned.”
According to Simon, one of the biggest warning signs is when a child begins showing physical or emotional symptoms tied to their sport. That can include trouble sleeping, frequent stomachaches, headaches, or negative comments about practices and games.
“If they start even verbalizing some negative language, like, ‘I wouldn’t want to be here if I have to go to practice,’ then a parent should generally be concerned,” Simon said.
While some athletes thrive by concentrating on one activity, the most important factor is whether the child genuinely enjoys it.
“You have to make sure that the sport that is chosen is something that the young person actually finds enjoyable,” he said.
What parents should watch forOngoing complaints of headaches or stomachaches before practices or gamesTrouble sleeping related to sports participationFrequent emotional outbursts or tantrums about attending practicesSigns that a child feels pressured by adults rather than motivated by personal interestA noticeable loss of joy in the activity
Simon emphasized that it’s normal for kids to occasionally resist practice or feel disappointed after a tough game. The key is looking at the overall pattern.
“If overall they do recognize that they want to get better at it, and it is something they’re willing to pursue, generally it’s healthy and good,” he said.
Parents who notice persistent anxiety, physical symptoms, or major behavioral changes may want to start a conversation with their child — and seek professional help if concerns continue.