Lessons from Mom: How to Help a Loved One with a Mental Illness | Sarah Mikulski | TEDxHarperCollege
Mental illness is still a taboo topic in our culture, but this talk will give you some tips you can use to support a loved one. Sarah Mikulski is from the Chicago area and attended Loyola University and the University of San Francisco as an undergrad, and got her master’s in teaching (M.A.T.) from Northeastern Illinois University. In addition to working as an ESL instructor, Sarah has also worn the hats of mother, wife, yoga instructor, Peace Corps volunteer (Poland ’01!), and caretaker of her mother, who struggled with bipolar disorder for over 20 years. Her experiences with learning how to best help her mother are what inspired her TEDx Talk at Harper College entitled “Lessons from My Mother: How to Help a Loved One with a Mental Illness.” This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
31 Comments
Thanks for the advice, details and support. God bless you, you are brave and lovely❤
How can we get a copy of Linda's Guide Brochure?
It is a very very very inspiring talk!!! My mom and dad have changed my life hyperbolically I ways I could not verbally describe. I found meditation thru this pain…and also found a job in social work! Which I avoided like the plague my whole life, because…my family was in the social work business!!!!my dad retired early!
what if a mom itself diagnosed with schizophrenia, if a kid is mentally its okay we can handle that but what if your mom and brother diagnosed schizophrenia . this is my life , i dont blame anyone but the marriage kulture.
Thank you
Wow!!! I needed this.. my exact situation right now
Another angel in the world . Thank you for sharing your experiences. May God bless you.
Not many in the modern world will see their primal responsibility but be affected by stigma and influenced by society.
The need of family support cannot be overemphasised in this context. God really needs to send an angel when he dishes this out on humans.
❤
One of the best most spot on talks about mental illness. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This morning marks the first day of me educating myself on how to help my daughter. It started with a phone conversation and her being in a paranoid schizophrenic state. She is in rehab and at first I wanted to be overwhelmed by her calling me when she is high she makes no sense and it upsets me greatly. But now I know the difference at least if she is in a more controlled environment. She doesn't have to be high to sound like that. So I pray I can learn how to best help her and the calming techniques of telling her how much I loved her and creating a safe space really helped our conversation greatly.
If I could effect children and families by telling my story of schizophrenic mother and mental illness i would do it. It also includes ADD in my father and alcholism in relatives at a time when it was as normal as having a cigarette. It was a disaster that only death ended the suffering although there's still the future generations.
You so courageous for what you did for your mother
We love you for your courage
After years of verbal and physical abuse in front of the kids you get to the point where it’s time to go
Why do u think your parent/ family member struggle with mental illness?
I appreciate her experience, but there is no help to be found unless you have money. Social networks are gone, social support options through states and communities are gone, the mental health care in this country is nothing about care. You're on your own with your family member.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I am in tears. I am supporting my younger and only sister with mental illness and her recovery. I am so grateful to have found this beautiful story. Unconditional Love is the answer. Blessings to you all!
Don't bother, you can't help someone with mental illnes.
Supporting a loved one with mental illness takes patience, understanding, and love. Small acts of kindness can mean everything. 💛🤝
Thank you I really needed this ❤
persistent verbal abuse and him slamming the door all night is just as bad as physical abuse. I haven't slept in weeks. No matter how nice i am to my dad with dementia, he yells at me and gets away.
It's easy to tell people to be generous when you have money. Those of us too poor can't afford it.
The best gift you gave your mom was knowing you wouldnt stop loving her.❤
It would have been very helpful if you had put a link to Linda's guide so that we could get a copy. Not too late yet.
So what do I do if my help is rejected? Walk away from my loved one?
The HIPPA law doesn't allow me the right to know my loved ones Drs name.
I have dealt with this my entire life. And still am. There does not seems to be any resources to help us cope with this. For years I thought I was alone. Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤️
Very good talk. Thank you 🌞
1. Take a deep breath & accept the situation
— you CAN do something —
2. Reach out: find support.
3. Make sure your help is wanted:
They have to want it.
— communicate clearly & reach an agreement —
You can't live their life for them
Listen carefully to what they want from you. (Give them your total reassurance of your love for them.)
Have thick skin & see their assaults as Illness & that they need intension.
Don't see the irrational; see it as oppty.
Weather emotional storms bc of love; it can make you a target, so stay safe & don't abandon them.
Medication + therapy = success.
Things get easier.
Use humor.
Financial help:
Help to manage their money, with their permission.
Get a power of attorney.
You know what decisions you can live with: don't listen to others.
Social security disability income
Financial resources
Relationships:
Educate others about their condition, given their permission
Personal hygiene
Develop a close connection to determine undressed intervention = daily check- in
Have others be able to check on her
Take care of yourself also: Find your outlet
Learn their condition, prescriptions & side effects, doctors & therapists, etc.
NAMI: Family to Family
** work as a team **
I agree with you 100%. We don't abandon them after incidents. We walk with them through it. 🙏
Thank you with the tip on cleaning. 🙏
Thank you for such timely advise. I am going through a crisis with my son. 🙏
This has been so helpful. Hope it's not too late.😭