Calming & De-escalation Strategies

Calming & De-escalation Strategies

hi there this brief video is going to describe simple calming and de-escalation strategies when people are escalated it often comes from a sense of threat or fear even if the threat is not real at the time their past experiences with people in the world may have wired their brains to expect harm or danger when we as humans perceive threat or are otherwise incredibly stressed or angry or scared we activate our survival brain this more primitive part of our brain has only one job to keep us safe it doesn’t care about reason or logic in fact the thinking parts of our brain turn off and we act mostly on instincts these instincts include reading nonverbal cues from our environment those nonverbal cues are actually more important than verbal cues or what people say to us so when people are escalated at their core they want control we give them control over their own safety and decisions do not black people corner them or block entrances or possible escape routes as soon as you do they want to fight or flee even more give two arms length distance keep our body posture open so it does not appear that you are hiding anything keep your body posture as relaxed as you can even if it’s hard a looming towering figure only sends the message that you want to dominate so if it feels okay to do so ask them what would make them feel safe or feel feel better put the control back on their turf ask what would help ask what could happen next one of the most famous practices and sayings for de-escalation is low and slow from Teresa bollock low and slow refers to both your body movements and your voice or speech just like it sounds we want to keep the tone of our voice low and the speed of our voice slow when you lower your tone and speed it makes it more possible for the other person to process what you are saying and not feel threatened as opposed to a higher pitched tone and quick speech which frankly increases stress then we also try to lower and slow down our body movements and posture so try to sit in a chair or on the floor especially if you were children and especially if the person who is escalated is lower down than you maybe they’re on the floor or in a chair if you get on an even playing field this gives the nonverbal cue that you mean no threat and try to slow down your body movement so as to not further alarm their cues for danger move slowly walk slowly keep your hands out and open where they can see them next use the tip name it detainment made popular by Dan Siegel by naming emotions we gain control over them therapists have known this forever acknowledged that they may be feeling anxious angry especially if it’s a child stay with that feeling validate it let them know the feeling is okay as long as they stay safe we also like to say regulate / educate when people are in distress it’s not the time to teach or educate or think back about what they could have done differently the only goal is to regulate their emotions usually this is done by giving space and time staying calm and helping provide a calming atmosphere it takes the body 20 to 30 minutes to come back down the baseline after a perceived or an actual threat just think of your own situations when something really scared you or startled you even if you look like you’re getting back to normal and your body is still pumping all those stress hormones for a while so wait it out just help people regulate if the person was aggressive or destructive especially if it’s a child there does of course need to be a consequence but wait on talking about the consequence finally to the most important things you can do all along the way and best before people get too distressed or even while they’re distressed is to validate their feelings and be empathic I see you’re struggling I see this is hard if it’s okay I’ll stay here with you until you feel better

In this video, we discuss Low and Slow, Name it to Tame it, and Regulate over Educate- three strategies to use when helping someone de-escalate.

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