10 Things Nobody Tells You About Recovery From Mental Illness

Ive been struggling with mental illness since years now. I dont know i went to dschinns storys to understand it more (Somehow i think its that) cause today in the night till almost morning was crazy Stuff said but then again it can be my mental getting better. God i am in IV right now at the moment my grandmother said i should continue on with IV cause i broke my Feets and i deserve that Money but i dont know about that. I dont know what to say to my psychologist. Right now i am 100% back and feeling good. This is crazy.

I feel like I've cut out most compulsions. I'm not trying to figure out things the way I used to. I've accepted that life is uncertain. But I now feel depressed. I feel really, really sad. Like I'll never know the answers to my ocd questions but they could come up at some point and I have to deal with them. I feel jealous of people who seem to be certain of their past and that they are good people and they'd never do anything horrible. I also feel jealous of people who can accept that life will end some day and they can find meaning and joy. I did a lot of work to bring my compulsions down but now I'm at this weird point where I feel like I'm driving a car around town and it has no seatbelts or doors. I feel like I can't be happy without the seatbelts or doors on it. Otherwise, I could fall out any second. Who would help me if I fell out? Would people look at me like I'm awful because clearly I should've put some doors on it. What if I bring someone with me in this car with missing doors (i.e. marriage or friendship) and suddenly we get hurt while driving because I didn't make sure they were strapped in and get doors put on the car?

thank you

Been doing ERP hardcore for about a month now. Seeing major results already and am so grateful/ excited to make it to where you are at

Accepting the purposelessness of life, which is hard, but also liberating. It helps in the end because we want aims out of fear of death; and we never acknowledge that even a cosmic aim is ultimately purposeless

"Happiness that doesn't depend on disaster." Thats beautiful 👏

Hey Mark, i have a "unique" confusing i dont even know what to call it, but its a weird situation i got my self in, starting 2019 i had a very hard run in with anxiety after i took a medication "resperidone" the medication basically gave me a chemical lobotomy for 2 months, never had a clinical mental health issue before that i just wanted to get high off my sisters "adhd med" (yeah the psych gave my sister a anti psychotic to help her focus) skipping the details of that incident i developed a fear mainly towards not coping, i picked up smoking first to "feel energized" then it became a habit around just the head rush that felt so damn good, but to get to the point i had many obsessions, i feared hairloss, then cancer, then developing panic disorder becuase surely high levels of anxiety ment i had some defect that had to be solved, so i landed on panic disorder, which funnily enough obsessing over it gave me a panic attack and for about 2 weeks, i met the criteria for a clinical pd diagnosis, now in the past 2 months i have started a very noticeable spiral into the ocd label, first i got insomnia becuase i feared i could not sleep so began compulsively looking up solutions, then i got covid and oh fuck i may develop long covid, so i gotta smoke more and work out less (apparently nicotine reducess LC chances???) now my new topic of obsession is ocd, looking up every scholarly articale i can read a scientific jornal as if i was a scientist, looking up that sub reddit r/ocd, asking if i have ocd, surely not right? well thankfully i eventually noticed that yeah im plugging my self into a typical mental health crisis, and i need a way out, came across your channel and everything clicked, i picked up a liberated mind by steve hayes (who i used to compulsively listen to to convince my self i can be normal) dont anymore now im following what he teaches, im going to pick up your book after you definitely know what you are talking about;

now as you can see i have plugged my self into ocd, ok so i am working my way out of it, i mainly have mental compulsions, thought says "hey you are developing ocd soon and you wont be able to cope" or "shit look you wont be able to sleep you'll have a hypnic jerk and a panic attack" i would respond almost automatically out of my awareness to a degree to these thoughts saying "nah wont happen" xyz doesnt matter what matters is the fact i responded to a random neuron firing in my head, when ever i notice the compulsion, it goes away, sometimes i notice it as soon as it starts, it instantly stops, intrusive thought is also gone, now a new thought comes in, "whenever you are noticing your inner dialogue and stopping it, you are doing a compulsion" look i get that its a thought but is this true? do i live my life basically noticing my inenr dialogue which almost always stops it in its track heck sometimes this self soothing dialouge happens outside the context of a intrusive thought, what exactly do i do? its been disrupting my sleep whenever i sleep my mind wanders, and i automatically notice it wandering which stops it, which i feel disrupts my sleep abruptly, makes me anxious to, where do i go from here?

I really feel grateful on bumping into your channel, what you address resonates so well. Like also that how well it's structured and going into different places most YouTubers stay in one place in a room and for me I noticed how it can become claustrophobic especially I started this road to recovery since 3 years ago almost and it's been 1 year since I found a therapist I feel the effects of the work and believe me it's constant uncertainty and challenges just as you described. Thank you thank you❤

This is so interesting! I made huge strides to get anxiety under control and my gut was a mess. I did a bunch of tests and if I let it, it will make me spiral again. I found cortisol breathing exercises and it has taken care of it. It takes time but I never realized it was related.

hi mark i just discovered you

So interesting how I am navigating the freaking out cuz I’m not anxious. And I feel so exhausted for no reason. Like I have no things to obsess over or worry, but my body is still on hyperawareness. Some days I automatically obsess over something so it feels familiar, but I guess I just need to keep on changing my system.

I wish I had someone in my life like you 😓💔

Mark, what is your opinion on ERP?

For me I’m having these headaches that are just annoying. I am dealing with my mental health well I know I am. It’s just that the body doesn’t wanna be with me at the moment😭