You’re Still in Survival Mode 💛
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Alain de Botton explains that many adult behaviors that seem unhelpful today once served an important purpose in childhood.
He describes how children develop coping strategies to survive difficult environments. For example, emotional withdrawal or dissociation can be an effective way for a child to handle overwhelming situations they cannot escape.
Over time, these strategies can persist into adulthood, even when the original conditions are no longer present. What was once protective can become limiting in relationships and everyday life.
Understanding the origin of these patterns allows for a shift in perspective — from self-criticism to recognition that these responses were adaptive, but may no longer be necessary.
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🗣️: Alain de Botton
🎥: Dr Rangan Chatterjee Podcast
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21 Comments
🗣️: Alain de Botton
🎥: Dr Rangan Chatterjee Podcast
💥 Get our new Ebook '7-Day Nervous System Reset' → Link in Bio 💛🫶
I used to hide behind armchairs…nowadays that would,luckily, look too stupid….Now I sit in the chair, and hide behind a newspaper😬🙄
He is amazing but that haircut bro 😅
I say the same thing to my eating disorder today. Thank you for keeping me alive during tough times (otherwise I would have headed straight for suicide, food gave me temporary relief and some happiness) but now it's time to say bye-bye to it. I want a healthy relationship with food and appetite! ❤
The creepiest person alive
Interesting I would talk to anyone complete strangers because I was doing it in childhood. I would talk to strangers for years and I was robbed conned and assaulted for years. Now I understand why
I couldn’t disagree more than I do with this your simply wrong cos disassociation is natural how arrogant are you to think it’s wrong for adults to disassociate it’s one of natures most effective cope Strats and believe me you don’t have a better one that doesn’t involve drugs or lots of daily routine therapy you may claim you do but that’s because you want the money your no better than a snake oil salesman
My chouchou 😊
I do know that shit. I just cannot change it.
What does dissociate mean?
Love tjis guy
I’m 40 and still disassociate
soo.. whats the logic behind his desperate clinging onto the little mustache around his head then??
I like that. Thank the inner child for helping me to stay alive, but now it's time for me to be in charge. Hardest part now is building the trust in myself to be able to let go of the old coping mechanisms
This guy is a philosopher not a psychologist. Get your information from a psychologist.
Dis association helps overcome toxic relationships. Thanks to the childhood virtue.
Yes indeed, from unconscious coping behaviours to awareness of such and the incentive and know-how to find a new loop to practice consciously
He's got his finger on the de Botton. All the same, I wish he'd just shave his head; those strands of grey are not a good look.
All joking (kind of) aside he's perfectly describing adult children of alcoholics. Anyone who has ever loved one will know exactly what I mean. Thanks for posting and keep up the good work🎉❤
Where do you see and here. How can you dissasociate
What if my partner learned to cope as a child by getting angry and using anger to achieve things and being angry with others when they make mistakes because when they would get angry with themselves as a child, in early adulthood it propelled them towards their goals?