The shame and remorse over gambling losses can lead to some dark places. A Swedish study published last year found that problem gamblers were four times more likely to die from suicide than the general population. (If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to talk with someone.)
Jack F, 81, a former chief with the Jersey City Fire Department, got drawn into gambling on his iPhone, and eventually racked up a debt of about $60,000, far more than his firefighter pension could cover (read more about his story here). He was constantly on edge, scrambling to cover his losses, sweating over his wife’s scrutiny, telling himself, I won’t get caught. His daughter Deanna, who lived downstairs, overheard her parents arguing about his gambling. She also confronted Jack about it. “You need help,” she told him. “You’re out of control.”
When Jack reached the point where he was desperate to get control of his online gambling, he entered a 12-step Gamblers Anonymous program. He says he hasn’t placed a bet since Dec. 7, 2024. He even put himself on New Jersey’s exclusion list, which blocked him from using the gambling apps on his phone or visiting a casino in the state.
He attends therapy sessions once every three weeks at a local Veterans Affairs center. And he continues to attend his recovery group’s weekly meetings.
“Walking into that room to this day makes me feel so much better about what had been transpiring over the past couple years,” he says. “And the people in it, they share their problems, their issues, and we work things out together. We’re there for each other. It’s really just comforting knowing that you’re not alone.”