Stop fixing and start listening. Harvard’s Alexis Redding explains how authentic vulnerability and exploring the messy middle can transform your workplace culture.
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As a new generation of talent enters the professional sphere, they are bringing with themselves a radically different set of expectations regarding mental health and professional development. For years, leadership has operated under a stiff upper lip mentality, yet we are seeing that the old-school approach to management is no longer sufficient to keep our best people engaged.
In a recent conversation with developmental psychologist Alexis Redding, a faculty member at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and co-author of Mental Health in College, we explored the connective tissue between the campus experience and the corporate world. What we discovered is that the challenges facing young adults today aren’t just student problems—they are workforce problems. If we want to build a culture of allyship and retain top talent, we must bridge the gap between institutional authority and human vulnerability.
Here are three key themes from our discussion that every leader needs to understand to foster a thriving workplace culture.
1. Ditch the Generic Advice for Authentic Vulnerability
We often feel the need to project perfection to our junior employees. We want them to see us as a finished product—a roadmap of success. However, Redding’s research into a lost study of the 1970s reveals that the emotional turmoil of early adulthood hasn’t changed in fifty years. What has changed is our willingness to acknowledge it.
Allyship in the workplace begins with honesty. When a team member is struggling, they don’t need a lecture on how you made it work twenty years ago. They need to know that you’ve stumbled too. Sharing your failures isn’t a sign of weakness. Sharing our own missteps is a tool for retention. It creates a psychological safety net that allows others to breathe.
“To give good advice to young people, we have to stop just saying, you know, ‘it’ll all work out’ and ‘it was okay for me,’ and instead share authentically the messy parts of our own stories,” Redding offered.
2. Shift from Directing to Exploring
One of the most common mistakes managers make is solution-oriented leading. We see a problem or a choice, and we immediately provide the right path. But Redding points out that young professionals are still in the process of self-authoring—learning to make decisions where the voices of others don’t drown out their own.
Instead of giving a directive, an effective ally provides options. If a direct report is considering a new project or a career pivot, don’t tell them which one to take. Offer two paths that invite them to explore their own curiosity. This empowers the individual and builds a sense of ownership over their career, which is a massive driver for talent retention.
“What I would do instead is to give them two possible answers that contradict with each other slightly that invite exploration. Automatically, they can’t just follow my advice because I’ve given them two different pieces of advice and that means I’ve opened the door to exploration,” Redding suggested.
3. De-escalate the Crisis Narrative
The word crisis is splashed across every headline regarding mental health, but Redding warns that overusing this term can actually hinder our ability to help. When we label every struggle as a crisis, we often default to referring the problem away—sending the employee to HR or a clinical counselor before we even listen.
While clinical support is vital for those who need it, many employees are simply navigating the messy middle of a transition. True workplace culture is built in those three minutes before a referral—the minutes where you sit with someone and ask, What does this look like for you? By humanizing the struggle, we lower the temperature and build deeper trust.
“By labeling everything as a crisis, we are ramping up the temperature too much. We are making everybody too nervous to have real conversation. It doesn’t mean that every student who is struggling is at the level of crisis,” Redding explained.
The Actionable Takeaway
To move the needle on talent retention, stop trying to be the fixer and start being the explorer. The next time an employee comes to you with a professional or personal struggle, resist the urge to immediately provide a solution or a referral. Instead, invest three minutes in active listening. Ask open-ended questions that allow them to define their own experience. By sitting in the messy middle with your team, you move beyond being a boss and become a true ally in their development.
For more strategies on mental health and young people, watch Redding’s TEDx and watch our full interview.