And while the beloved family man was known for his positive persona and selfless generosity, the demons he was wrestling with ultimately became untenable for him, Coroner Heidi Wrigley said.
Mulholland was found dead in his Waikanae home by his partner on October 8, 2023. He was 61.
The tragedy sparked an outpouring of grief and heartfelt tributes from those who knew and loved him. His family shared their pain with the Herald in the days after his death, pleading for others to take care of themselves by remembering to “put yourself first”.
“Dad always wanted to help people and make a difference and was often over-committing himself to different causes and missions,” Mulholland’s daughter Livi (Mulholland) Kay said at the time.
“People were in awe at how he would never say no, but family and friends could often see the toll this would take on him trying to lead a balanced life for his own personal wellbeing.”
Dr Tom Mulholland is credited with saving countless lives during his career.
Wrigley investigated the circumstances surrounding Mulholland’s death and released her findings today.
Her report provides insight into Mulholland’s final months and weeks, the strain he was under emotionally, physically and financially, and the mental health problems he was battling.
Five months before his death, Mulholland was seriously injured on a solo boating trip from Whangaroa to Auckland.
Wrigley’s report said his vessel hit a large wave and Mulholland was struck by a blunt object, rupturing his pancreas. He made it back to Auckland and was rushed to hospital where he spent the next seven weeks.
“Doctors were not sure if he was going to survive, and his family were called in to say their goodbyes. Fortunately, Dr Mulholland was able to recover,” the decision said.
He gradually returned to work but found it difficult to adjust to the hours and workload. He reported feeling burned out and was losing confidence in his own ability.
The time off work affected his finances. The report said he had racked up “substantial tax liabilities” and was struggling to meet a repayment arrangement.
Mulholland was living in rented accommodation, had limited assets and a “meagre” KiwiSaver balance, the decision said.
Dr Tom Mulholland had travelled the world and had a passion for the outdoors.
“Dr Mulholland described a sense of hopelessness, being overwhelmed, and concern about his ability to continue working safely.
“He indicated to [clinical psychologist] Dr Farnsworth-Grodd that he was in severe financial stress, stating that while he did not want to die, he could not afford to live.”
Though he told medical professionals he was having his own recurrent suicidal thoughts, Mulholland flew to Auckland just two days before he died to speak about mental health and suicide prevention.
He had helped countless others through his advocacy work, but told Farnsworth-Grodd he “felt a sense of fraud” presenting about suicide “while struggling himself”.
Wrigley said the “tragic irony” was not lost on Mulholland of him ending his life “despite speaking publicly about suicide for many years”.
The coroner said Mulholland’s decision to take his life followed worries about his financial situation, lack of sleep and poor mental state.
He recognised having many risk factors for suicide but felt the medications he had been prescribed left him “like a zombie”, the report said.
Mulholland was concerned he lacked the necessary wealth for a comfortable retirement and was unable to see light at the end of the tunnel, the coroner said.
He wanted those feelings to stop.
Dr Tom with his partner Desiree (Dee) Foxley at Mt Aspiring National Park.
He told his family, “This is no one’s fault but mine” and acknowledged “the pain his suicide would cause those who loved him and apologised for this”, the coroner said in her report.
“His knowledge about suicide and its risk factors, which he identified in himself, gave him insight into his suicidality,” Coroner Wrigley wrote.
“He sought professional help from both a clinical psychologist and his GP. Regrettably, this help did not address for Dr Mulholland the unacceptability of his personal circumstances, which did not align with how he wanted to live his life.”
The coroner found that while Mulholland had no formally diagnosed mental health disorder, his poor mental state was at play when he made the decision he did.
“It was impacting upon his ability to work. It was also interfering with his ability to find hope for his future.”
However, she ruled that Mulholland’s final decision was “considered” and “occurred in the context of significant stressors”.
Coroner Wrigley also noted that the causes of suicide were “personal, complex and multifactorial”, and that she was unable to conclusively determine all the factors that led to Mulholland ending his life.
She did not identify any health services failings and noted that Mulholland’s doctors, family and friends had all tried to support him.
“They could not have predicted his death.”
‘He left us on his own terms’
The Herald approached Mulholland’s family this week but they declined to comment on the findings.
Immediately after his death, they described the personal struggles he was wrestling with in his final months, including the boating accident that left him in critical care.
“Dad lived his life on his terms, and ultimately he left us on his terms too,” his daughter Kay said.
“We cannot explain the heartbreak we feel, having lost him. He was so much to so many, but to us, he was everything.”
Dr Tom and daughter Livi (Mulholland) Kay tramping together in the wilderness. Photo / Supplied
Kay said the qualities that made Mulholland so remarkable also put pressure on his personal situation.
He had openly struggled with mental health throughout his life, canvassing those struggles publicly in his books, corporate talks and workshops.
The boating accident left him bedridden for weeks, meaning he was unable to work and lost a lot of potential earnings. But he eventually recovered after being nursed back to health.
“Physically, Dad was doing well, but the accident had perhaps made him aware he was not as physically resilient as he once was, which for such an active and adventurous person, this took a toll.
“This, combined with personal financial pressures he had from over-committing himself to so many different causes and missions, meant Dad was struggling to see how he could continue to live the life he always had, filled with extreme adventures and helping people on such a large scale.
Dr Tom Mulholland and his son Tommy at Fiordland National Park.
“Our family sat with him and discussed many different options that ensured he could live an incredible life with support and still hold his core values at heart, however, as he became more unwell what was so obvious to us, he just couldn’t seem to see what we could.”
While devastated, Mulholland’s family sought comfort in knowing he lived a life full of adventure, laughter, love and friendships.
“He advocated for mental health so strongly, knowing what your health numbers were and checking in on people.
Dr Tom pictured with his three children, Sammie Forrest (second from left), Livi (Mulholland) Kay (second from right) and Tommy Mulholland.
Photo / Supplied
“However, due to his own condition at times, he was unable to do an incredibly important part of health, not over-committing yourself and slowing down when you need to, in order to allow yourself to live a stable and balanced life.
“We ask as his children, that if anyone is feeling like this, please, put yourself first. Please do it for your loved ones.”
Kay said the family were eternally grateful for the time they got to share with Mulholland. They were proud of him and knew his life would not be remembered by his final decision.
“We will be strong for each other and for you, and we will personally carry on your legacy of adventure, laughter and caring for others as best as we can.
“We will love you forever and ever and ever.”
Dr Tom Mulholland began a six-month circumnavigation of New Zealand in October 2018.
Lane Nichols is Auckland desk editor for the New Zealand Herald with more than 20 years’ experience in the industry.