Working through unprocessed trauma: Mental health expert speaks on emotional challenges men face
JUNE IS MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH, AND WE ARE TACKLING AN ISSUE THAT MANY DO NOT REALIZE IS AN ISSUE UNTIL IT’S REALLY TOO LATE. AND IT CENTERS AROUND UNPROCESSED TRAUMA. AND JOINING US TODAY TO TALK ABOUT THIS VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE IS EMOTIONAL FITNESS EDUCATOR GARY DUMAS. GARY, THANKS FOR JOINING US. THERE’S A LOT TO COVER WITH THIS ONE, BUT THIS IS REALLY A COMMON PROBLEM NOT JUST WITH MEN, BUT WITH WOMEN AS WELL. BUT WHY SPECIFICALLY MEN? DO YOU FOCUS ON THAT PART? WELL, NUMBER ONE, BECAUSE JUST BEING TRANSPARENT AS A MAN, MEN NEED A LOT OF HEALING JUST TO BE VERY BLUNT AND TRANSPARENT. WE NEED A LOT OF HEALING. AND A LOT OF TIMES WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT. AND SO UNPROCESSED TRAUMA IS USUALLY ANY, ANY TYPE OF DISTRESSING OR OVERWHELMING EVENT. AND USUALLY WHEN I TALK ABOUT TRAUMA, PEOPLE THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE OBVIOUS, BUT ALSO RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, FINANCIAL TRANSITIONS, ISSUES WITH THE KIDS, PERSONAL CHALLENGES, THOSE THINGS CAN PRODUCE TRAUMA JUST AS WELL. AND SO WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMON BEHAVIORS OF MEN WITH UNPROCESSED TRAUMA? YEAH, ALTHOUGH THERE ARE SEVERAL, BUT THERE’S ONE RIGHT AWAY THAT I DISCOVERED MANY, MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS. AND THAT IS THE EMOTIONAL REACTIONS THAT SEEM DISPROPORTIONATE. WE KNOW IT IS OVERREACTING. A LOT OF TIMES THERE’S THESE EXTREME ADVERSE REACTIONS TO WHAT MAY SEEM INSIGNIFICANT IRRITANTS, BUT USUALLY THAT COMES FROM A PLACE THAT’S UNDERLINING, THAT HAS BEEN FURTHER DEVELOPED LONG BEFORE THAT MOMENT IN TIME. IT COULD EVEN GO BACK AS FAR AS CHILDHOOD, OR IT COULD BE SOMETHING THAT OCCURRED IN ADULTHOOD. SO MAYBE AN EXAMPLE OF THAT. YOU ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION AND IT’S A BLOW UP REACTION OR REACTION. OR IT COULD BE AN EVENT, SOMETHING THAT OCCURS. I MEAN, ONE OF THE TOP REASONS THAT WE’VE DISCOVERED WHERE THESE THINGS OCCUR IS USUALLY IN RELATIONSHIPS, WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO TALK ABOUT IT. MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO KIND OF HOLD IT IN, YOU KNOW, IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. I’M GONNA GET THROUGH IT. I’M A TOUGH GUY. WHAT HAVE YOU. BUT IN MOST CASES, IT PRODUCES TRAUMA OR THERE’S AN ERUPTION. EVENTUALLY A SUDDEN ERUPTION. YEAH. RIGHT. AND SO LET’S TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE HEALING PROCESS. YES. WELL, FIRST THING AND I KNOW MEN HAVE HEARD THIS MANY TIMES, BUT THAT’S BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT’S NOT HAPPENING AS OFTEN AS IT SHOULD. TALKING ABOUT IT, TALKING ABOUT IT, TALKING ABOUT IT. AND IF I HAD TIME, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME I’LL GO INTO SOME OF THE EFFECTS THAT IT HAS ON THE BRAIN. WHEN YOU ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT THINGS. BUT JUST TO PUT IT PRACTICAL, WHEN PEOPLE FEEL THAT SENSE OF RELIEF AND THAT DEFLATED ENCOUNTER, THAT’S EVIDENCE THAT TALKING ABOUT IT IS GOOD. IN FACT, LISA, JUST TO BE HONEST, THAT’S WHY I LOOSENED MY SHIRT WHEN I CAME OUT. I HAD A BUTTON ALL THE WAY UP. WHY DID I DO THAT? BECAUSE I WANT MEN TO FEEL THAT CONNECTION. I WANT MEN TO FEEL LIKE, OKAY, I CAN TALK TO THIS GUY. BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU LOOK AT THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE AND SAY, OH, I CAN’T TALK TO THIS GUY. HE’S TOO RIGID OR, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. BUT I WANT PEOPLE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE. I WANT TO LOOK APPROACHABLE. AND SO HERE IN MY HEART, MORE THAN ANYTHING, I FEEL LIKE MEN SOMETIMES OPERATE IN A SILO. IS IT HELPFUL FOR THEM TO REACH OUT TO OTHER MEN, OR WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND? IT’S ALWAYS HELPFUL. AND ONE OF THE KEY FACTORS THAT HELPS A MAN TO REACH OUT TO OTHER MEN IS NOT GET CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK THEY MAY THINK. THERE’S USUALLY A LOT OF TIMES WE THINK A MAN MAY THINK CERTAIN THINGS. AND SO NOW WE’RE STUCK WITH WHAT WE THINK, ONLY TO AFFECT WHAT WE REALLY THINK. AND THAT’S WHEN YOU GET INTO THE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS, COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS ARE SIMPLY WAYS THAT OUR MIND CONVINCES US OF THINGS THAT ISN’T TRUE OR HASN’T HAPPENED. SO WHAT’S THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT MEN CAN DO TODAY TO IMPROVE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH? MAKE A DECISION TODAY TO ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE WAYS OF HANDLING THINGS IS NOT WORKING. IT’S NOT WORKING. AND HERE’S ANOTHER ONE I’LL ADD TO THAT. MAKE THE DECISION TO STOP BEING SO PREDICTABLE. BECAUSE SOMETIMES MEN CAN BE TOO PREDICTABLE WHEN THEY’RE ACTING OUT OF THE FRUIT OF UNPROCESSED TRAUMA. PEOPLE KNOW THAT IF THEY DO CERTAIN THINGS OR CERTAIN THINGS HAVE BEEN SAID, THEY’RE LIKELY TO REACT A CERTAIN WAY. AND WITHOUT GETTING CLINICAL. THOSE ARE VERY FEW PRACTICAL STEPS. ONE, MAKE A DECISION TO STOP BEING SO PREDICTABLE. AND THEN NUMBER TWO, MAKE A DECISION AND JUST ACCEPT THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT, WHAT I’M DOING, THE WAYS I’M THINKING, THE WAY I’M PRESENTING, THE WAY I’M ACTING, THE WAY I’M PERCEIVING THINGS IS JUST NOT WORKING FOR ME. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE CLASSES FOR MEN. WHAT’S YOUR WEBSITE THAT THEY CAN GO TO DO? THEY CAN GO TO W W W.EDU.ORG OR YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY CAN JUST CALL ME STRAIGHT, OKAY, 81666833 80. THEY CAN JUST GIVE ME A CALL AND I’LL GET THEM PLUGGED IN AND WE’LL GET SOMETHING DONE. AND I KNOW@KCRA.COM, WE’VE GOT YOUR INFORMATION LINKED AS WELL. GARY, THAN
Working through unprocessed trauma: Mental health expert speaks on emotional challenges men face
Updated: 11:53 AM PDT Jun 5, 2026
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and many men face a mental health challenge that most do not realize is an issue until it’s too late. It centers around unprocessed trauma. Unprocessed trauma can stem from any type of overwhelming or distressing event, including relationship issues, financial issues, or personal challenges. Gary Dumas, founder of the nonprofit personal development organization ReRouted, explained the behaviors of unprocessed trauma. The main one being disproportionate emotional reactions. “We know it as overreacting. A lot of times there are these extreme, adverse reactions to what may seem insignificant irritants, but usually that’s coming from a place that’s underlying, that has been further developed long before that moment in time,” Dumas said. He also stated the top reason for these reactions is relationship issues, and stem from men’s tendency to hold in emotional distress. The first step Dumas gave towards healing is for men to talk about things bothering them. “I know men have heard this many times, but that’s because this is something that’s not happening as often as it should, talking about it,” Dumas said. “When people feel that sense of relief and that deflated encounter, that’s evidence that talking about it is good.”He also pleaded for men to stop “thinking about what they think others may think” when attempting to reach out for help. The most direct step Dumas advocated for men to try today was to accept that what they’re currently doing about their mental health isn’t working, and make a decision to take a different approach. “Just being transparent as a man, men need a lot of healing,” Dumas said. “We need a lot of healing, and a lot of times we don’t even realize it.” If you are a man and are seeking help with mental health, Dumas said to visit his website here, or to call him directly at 816-668-3380. See more coverage of top California stories here | Download our app | Subscribe to our morning newsletter | Find us on YouTube here and subscribe to our channel
SACRAMENTO, Calif. —
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and many men face a mental health challenge that most do not realize is an issue until it’s too late. It centers around unprocessed trauma.
Unprocessed trauma can stem from any type of overwhelming or distressing event, including relationship issues, financial issues, or personal challenges.
Gary Dumas, founder of the nonprofit personal development organization ReRouted, explained the behaviors of unprocessed trauma. The main one being disproportionate emotional reactions.
“We know it as overreacting. A lot of times there are these extreme, adverse reactions to what may seem insignificant irritants, but usually that’s coming from a place that’s underlying, that has been further developed long before that moment in time,” Dumas said.
He also stated the top reason for these reactions is relationship issues, and stem from men’s tendency to hold in emotional distress.
The first step Dumas gave towards healing is for men to talk about things bothering them.
“I know men have heard this many times, but that’s because this is something that’s not happening as often as it should, talking about it,” Dumas said. “When people feel that sense of relief and that deflated encounter, that’s evidence that talking about it is good.”
He also pleaded for men to stop “thinking about what they think others may think” when attempting to reach out for help. The most direct step Dumas advocated for men to try today was to accept that what they’re currently doing about their mental health isn’t working, and make a decision to take a different approach.
“Just being transparent as a man, men need a lot of healing,” Dumas said. “We need a lot of healing, and a lot of times we don’t even realize it.”
If you are a man and are seeking help with mental health, Dumas said to visit his website here, or to call him directly at 816-668-3380.
See more coverage of top California stories here | Download our app | Subscribe to our morning newsletter | Find us on YouTube here and subscribe to our channel