Love Someone Who Has Depression? This is What You Need to Know.
In this video I talk about 6 things you need to know about loving someone with Depression – and some meaningful things you can do to help and support them.
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42 Comments
What if the person is depressed but also doesn’t like being looked after and is individualistic? Doesn’t care about her or you? This is so draining cuz no matter what I do or don’t do, she’s always upset, always has something that makes her upset. I’m struggling so bad to find strength. Every time im with her my mood motivation and happiness just vanish. This is so frustrating. Seeing her sad and her being so negative and indifferent to everything is so draining and making me fall in a state of hopelessness too. I see no solution.
I myself had severe depression 7 years ago. Been on meds since. I KNOW that the only way is to go see a freaking doctor and start taking pills. But the other person just can’t do it. You suffer. You know what to do. You know it will help. Nothing changes. I glad nobody was there for me when I was about to commit suicide (that was the moment “it is messed up. I need help asap”) so I didn’t bother other people.
You absolutely can make your partner depressed. What?!
Thank you for this! I’ve never experienced this in a loved one before until now. I have a new girlfriend and just hope she pulls through ok. We don’t live together yet and am wondering if I should go over and check on her or just text and call her and let her know I’m there for her. I don’t want to overwhelm her more but I want to make sure she at least eats something. What should I do?
Super helpful my chick is anxious attachment and I’ve learned I’m avoiding dismissive so I’ve been watching stuff on all these things
Why mental experts are mainly focused on the depressed person why they never talk about how friends, parents and relatives can help the person who have this issues. This is the condition that affects directly indirectly all the people who is close to the person. Appreciated you talked on this.
I care about someone I love so much that I am here to try to find a way to be supportive. It hurts me to not be with this person. I’m trying to be supportive and give her space so she can work on your mental health. It hurts me and I’ll be there for her, but I’m doing what she asked me to do. Even though I want to be close to her. This is what she wants. Tell her I love her. Depression is really bad to the point. You don’t believe me. I don’t know what to do to show her.
So glad i found this vidro. I was feeling very despondent but I understand now its not my fault and to stop trying to fix things ❤
What do we do when both of us are depressed and one expect the other person to do everything. Paying bills, keep the house clean, take care of the yard, do laundry. I would love to hear your advice?
To Love Someone Who Has Chronic Depression, Stressful? This Is What You Need To Know. Telling Depressed Anything But What They Want To Hear Awful. Thank You For Sharing Julia Kristina Good Advice. Kathleen, Ken, Renell, Susie, Morine, Graham, Donald, Mitchell, Myola, Stewart, Rommel, Emma, Anthony & Susan.
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I’m going through depression right now, and I want to say that “What can I do for you?”, “How can I help?”, “What have you tried so far?” and “What do you think can help you get through this?” doesn’t help at all. It makes us more irritated…. Because you don’t get depressed for a single reason, there are multiple scenarios happening in our minds. (I also don’t know how I can explain this) When someone says us something, we think of it for a second, then all of a sudden it goes so far and deep in our minds that the thought kind of disappears and our minds go blank all of a sudden. The person in front of us keep asking “what happened? What are you thinking?”. How can we tell when we ourselves don’t know what’s going on….. When someone says ‘What can I do for you?’. We also don’t know becuz before this, we also tried so many times to come over this, but couldn’t. If we knew what can help, wouldn’t we’d done it earlier? When someone says “you should do that, you should do this.” We think “Do you think we never tried any of this?” We’ve tried everything, but nothing helped, that’s why we’re here.
I lost my job and everything, $0 balance, living abroad, feeling homesick like crazy, can’t focus on studies. I’ve been hearing “you do nothing. Atleast try. You should exercise.Think positive, why are thinking unnecessarily? You should pray. I can’t deal with you anymore. You should do this first, then go for your dreams. We say these things for your sake only. If you keep doing this drama, we’ll only live few more years. Etc etc…”
All I want to say to them at that time is that “I might not see you d**ng then, cuz I’m going first.”
I just told my sister that I genuinely don’t want to go through this anymore, I can’t. I need to get therapy.” You know what she said “I can’t pay for it. You should work and earn, then get a therapy.”
Why would I go to the therapist if I can work and do everything like before? You’re literally saying, get medicine, cure yourself, then go to the doctor.
I’m not able to focus because I’m depressed. My body is always drained, always Blood Pressure low. I used to tell my parents, my sister what I feel, what I’m going through. When I saw that they’re ignoring everything else and just focusing on giving me advises, I stopped telling them everything. Then now I get Panick Attacks as well. I’m a student and I can’t go to college because I have extreme social anxiety as well now…..
Going through depression, social anxiety and panick attacks all at once, and still you think all I need to do is go outside for a walk?
Thank you so so so much! I want to be able to let my boyfriend be himself, and that video helped me a big lot, thank you a lot
Im never gonna give up on you my love. I don’t care if you’re dealing with this I will be patient with you as you have been with me. I know it’s a hard road but I know we can do it. I will be there for you through it all and work towards serving the Lord together and having the happiest life imaginable.
I’m sorry but this wasn’t helpful at all. Anyone that has a spouse with depression has experienced this. You didn’t offer any real solution or strategy. I’m drowning here.
U can support them and do so much and its not enough and when they refuse to get help and never do it. It gets to the point where it becomes too much to deal with and it drains the life out of u
thank you
I have mental health issues and addiction. So doesn't my man. It's a constant daily readjusting for 18 years.
I love myself and I love him. This is not easy at all. Many professionals are available and do help.
However I feel at times that my life would be way easier if I wasn't in this relationship.
The only thing I can do is pray 🙏 a lot. One day at a time I really try to switch up healing tactics.
Often times one of us or both have a relapse.
I sincerely pray and express to anyone here that continuing to survive and love during a lifetime of afliction is worth every good effort.❤
What do I do when he’s withdrawn ?
It's just: I have feelings too, and anxiety and lots of problems. Why should I be the strong one for years and years? It looks like being depressed is just an excuse
I learned to brush it off years ago. People expect me to be “normal,” and when I am not, they call it drama. So I keep it to myself, act “normal,” and move on. Life is tough, yes, but sometimes unnecessarily painful. I do not expect anyone around me to understand what I am dealing with. I sometimes just wish they were kinder. Hopefully, your video reaches them. It may be a utopia in my head, but this helps the helpless.
I understand your not feeling good but give it some time and I know you will start to feel better thats what I say when she calls me every name in the book for no reason THAT VOICE IN HER HEAD DOESNT JUST SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT HER IT LIES ABOUT ME TOO
Very helpful
Thank you
Please if anyone can help
Personally I have my loved one dealing with depression we were on good terms even after he lost feeling for me, I was being childish sometimes but he still cared for me and we talked about that and we fixed it then 4 days later he decided that he never want to talk to me again I ask him why he says I just wanted to and he’s being rude I really don’t want to give up on him because he used to say I don’t want to talk and I gave him space and keep checking up on him but now it’s different he says don’t talk to me anymore and I really want to be there for him but he said I make him stressed and his life without me is calmer and less stressful I’m still being there but what should I do? Is leaving him helping more?
yea… but like u said if it's happening alot the cancellations of life. And for example I am with my partner 8 years and it happens a lot to the point that I feel I am stopping to live my life because what they want is for me to be there for them always (leave the party, cancel my plans to stay in, not do things because they don't feel up for it…) how else can I help what else can I do if they are dependent on me. I love them but it's making me depressed now even though I have therapy I take care of myself and all I am changing my life because I am in fear that living it without them will kill then
Idk if anyone is still watching this vid, but I'm hoping someone can relate and help me as I'm in a very confusing state. My boyfriend of 8 years is going through severe depression with gambling disorder. So he basically burned all of our business money, pawned jewelries bcos of gambling so I now have to start over. He wasnt like this and we feel that this all started when he developed hatred with the people who caused for their own fam business to go downhill. It has been an emotional battle for me and him ofcourse. He resorted to gambling when he is already drowning with his thoughts. He's been pushing me away and I feel like I can't just abandon him because he doesn't trust anyone from his family. He is already seeing a psychiatrist but I feel like he is not taking other steps for healing, apart from the meds prescribe. This has been going on for 2-3 years now and I'm truly lost what to do at this point. 😢
What if you are trying your best to be there, but all they do is push you away, tell you their no longer in love with you because their numb and cant feel anything and that you should move on and be with someone else that can be everything they can’t be for you and then eventually breaks up with you saying the relationship is too much and they need to focus on themselves but then start reaching out to you trying to be just friends and then go silent again.
Humanity is doomed to fail. Nothing 😒 matters. Nothing you do is helpful.
❤i say those things , good things , and that I understand (I had depression many years ago on off and found my way to me and the depression went away after a lot of work) … but my boyfriend is very vulnerable and feels I shouldn't say anything about it…we have known each other for 8 years and it was more before ~ he knows what made him depressed and wants to get better but cant figure out how. He has reached out for help many years ago but that ended.
He has no energy at home so he stays in bed all day with his phone ❤ The first couple of years I made him food and helped when he really didnt get up for days, we lived in a house with 4 others and shared dinner meals so he got dinner when us in the house made food, sometimes he made food too.
We moved to our own place after some years and then he just completely forgot all about dishes, cleaning (he had one day with some cleaning every second week before that in our old place) .
We tried to schedule it the same way as before, he didnt do it, only got irritated when I asked, also I said we could do the things together, but nothing was good for him. He did go to school and did things he thought was fun to get some dopamine (he suspects ADD also) but nothing at home he didnt get help, didnt talk to me about it, didnt do anything at home and ended up like one angry irritated teenager at age 33. I have tried a lot of things and also nothing. My way of cleaning is also very much not a standard after concussions and so on in my life, so I dont mind mess and so on in that way…. but I had to stop doing anything to not put myself under the bus and here we are for 4 years now nothing is in any way clean and it just a huge mess and no motivation, moved two times and he does not want to put up shelves and complains that the stuff is everywhere and I try to say that thats what it is when we do not really move in and unpack, put up shelves and assemble the furniture and so on… nothing happens. He then suddenly cleaned the toilet before his mother came for Christmas and again two weeks ago (I asked if he could do something again) . I felt like living in luxury. I still do things more regularly, but we now have one plate each and so on… you might get the picture…I have tried to talk to to people about it, but I dont know what to do to help ❤
Im babbling here, its just so amazing to meet people that might understand from more than one point of view. All the best to all of you !
The non depress member do handle all the stuff the depress can’t so it become quickly very complicated
I need to find a way to help my depressing hoarding mother 🙁
I will do all this .. but pleass tell me will it help her?
Thank you so much for making this video <3 and thank you to everyone commenting. None of us are alone.
But people do give up on you and all those things that you said depression lies about unless everyone in my circle had depression as well. It’s all so confusing when friends make you guess and expect you to read between the lines when so many are treading water the best we know how.
I have nothing to live for. I have depression and my boyfriend has depression. When I need him reach out to me emotionally or talk to me, he can't do that because he has depression. The woman in this video did say that you have to constantly reassure your partner which I always have. I can't keep doing that as I need reciprocity. I can't break up with him either as it will hurt him. I'm done.
Thank you so much for the advice, i will try to communicate with her using this advice and hopefully shell be mine one day 😂, i care for her i really do, i wanna be with her and deep down i know she gonna be a good mother to our kids, shes smart pretty and those eyes goddd😊.
The second one sounds very much like advice in disguise to me, though.
If I ask "have you heard of ways to deal with depression" and then even suggest the ones I have heard of… well okay, there's no imperative like do or don't but for the rest it comes down to advice again
Can someone link this video to my ex ?
Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth is the 100% answer.
He loves humanity so much. Just accept Him today and see your lives find new meaning.
Any books out there from the partner perspective on dealing with a wife with depression?
For the past month and a half the relationship has felt so rocky. Went from getting messages every morning with quick replies for months and months and then the past month and a half things changed. Hardly ever answers calls, maybe we call once in a blue moon like once every week or two. I might get a message or so every couple days or so. Or sometimes she’ll ask a question and then when I answer she disappears for the rest of the day. I know she’s dealing with a lot but I miss her so so much and it’s just driving me insane. It’s hard not to think that it’s my fault or something. We don’t live together so I literally haven’t seen her in pretty much 2 whole months at this point. It hurts so much. I hope I can come back and say that everything is back to normal soon. Can anyone here give me hope that it gets better? 🙁
So thats great. Even though my husband is deeply sad I will go and live my best life and have a ball because his sadness is basically none of my business
It’s so hard to help loved one with depression, it affects me so much. Some nights I can’t sleep some nights I just don’t know what to do, it’s so hard I’m trying with everything my mood is damn dependent on her