BUFFALO, N.Y. — Summer means things like camps, graduation and a break from the daily stresses that come with the classroom — to a degree.
A community conversation that’s helping kids get over any hurdles they may be facing, held at the Whitesboro Central School District, passed on the message that it impacts everyone and there’s not just one profile.
According to Johns Hopkins, suicide is the third leading cause of death in young people. For ages 10 to 14, it is the second. Health officials are trying to make sure that people don’t dismiss the subtle warning signs.
Parents are being encouraged to talk to their kids the moment they see something is off. They’re also encouraged to break the stigma. It is OK to ask for help, and officials say it is up to adults to keep the next generations safe and feeling supported.
“Look for somebody who is disconnected, isolated and alone. Many times, that looks different in different communities,” said Jeremy Butler, chief innovation officer of ICAN. “So lonely doesn’t mean a state of being alone by oneself. It means not feeling seen, not feeling heard, not feeling valued, and oftentimes young people are not going to necessarily express that’s how they’re feeling.”
Butler shares that adults need to be in the mindset to have a “connection before the correction,” encouraging them to stay calm, get curious before reaction, listen more than talk and validate youths’ emotions without validating the harmful behavior.
Parents may put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect. Butler says kids need adults who are present, connected and willing to have tough conversations.
Then there’s social media and online games. The panelists at the Whitesboro parent-community safety forum said that not using the internet is not an option. It is a part of their life, and if they don’t use it, they won’t know how to protect themselves.
A safe option can be as simple as shutting off the chat function, which is age-dependent. Parents are encouraged to also ask who their kids have for friends they have online, as you would do for those friends they meet at school or in the neighborhood.
It is suggested that your child has the following emergency numbers in their phone, as well as parents and other trusted adults. One should be their healthcare provider. The other should be the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which is 988 or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255).