There is an entire community devoted to helping individuals with mental health conditions live their best lives.
Vanessa Haviland
Life includes both challenges and moments of growth, and supporting a loved one with a mental health condition can sometimes feel demanding. Over the past 24 years of working with individuals with various disabilities and mental health disorders, I have gathered practical strategies that help family members provide support while also maintaining their own well-being. Below are some of the most impactful:
Set realistic expectations with yourself and others.
Every relationship involves expectations, and open communication helps keep them healthy and achievable. Listening to your loved one without judgment and learning how their diagnosis affects their daily life can build understanding and strengthen your connection. Having honest conversations about each other’s needs allows both of you to show up more effectively.
Try to understand them. For example, someone with a social anxiety disorder may need extra time and effort to attend a family gathering. Recognizing that effort and appreciating their participation can shift the focus from frustration to gratitude.
If you have tried to have these difficult conversations and found them to be unsuccessful in the past, professional support is available by searching for your local counseling center and asking for relationship or family counseling.
Prioritize your own health and well-being
Caring for others is meaningful, but it works best when it includes caring for yourself, too. It is natural to feel responsible for a loved one, yet it is equally important to make space for activities that bring you joy, whether that is spending time with friends, exercising, traveling or simply resting.
When we start believing we can’t do these things because it will prevent us from properly caring for our loved one, we need to challenge those thoughts. Self-neglect can lead to unintended consequences.
Taking breaks and setting boundaries helps sustain your ability to provide support over time. In other words, prevent overcommitting today so that you can be your best tomorrow. When caregivers recognize their limits and ask for help when needed, they create a more balanced and sustainable approach.
If feelings of guilt arise when you take time for yourself, support groups and counseling services can offer reassurance and practical tools to help maintain a healthy balance. Such resources include Jewish Family Service (248-592-2300) and National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at namimetro.org.
Identify your support system
During difficult times, having dependable support makes a meaningful difference. Consider who you can rely on for various needs — whether it is emotional support, help with daily tasks, transportation or temporary caregiving. Knowing your “anchors” ahead of time can make problem-solving easier and reduce stress during unexpected situations. Building this network in advance creates a sense of stability and confidence.
Plan for the future
When we get into a good routine, it can be difficult to think how things could be different in the blink of an eye. A familiar question caregivers think about is “What happens when I am gone?” Establishing a plan for the future provides peace of mind for both you and your loved one. Many caregivers consider options such as guardianship, trusts, wills or life insurance policies. Consulting with professionals who understand disability law can help ensure these plans protect access to essential benefits and services.
Equally important is making sure that trusted individuals understand your plans and know how to carry them out. Tools like digital planning platforms, such as Daniplan.com, can help organize and store important information so others can step in smoothly if needed.
Know and use your community resources
There is an entire community devoted to helping individuals with mental health conditions live their best lives. Housing, community integration, benefits counseling, respite, transportation, counseling, medication therapy, parent support services, crisis planning, and clubhouse services are services financially funded by Community Mental Health. Call your local Access Center today to see how your loved one can be supported by a system designed to provide support.
Oakland County Access Center: (248) 464-6363
Wayne County Access Center: (800) 241-4949
Macomb County Access Center: (855) 996-2264
If navigating the system feels challenging, you can contact Gesher Human Services at GetHelpHere@geshermi.org or by calling Gesher’s behavioral health access specialist at (248) 739-2875.
Supporting a loved one with a mental health condition is a meaningful journey that benefits from knowledge, communication and support. By setting realistic expectations, caring for your own well-being, building a strong support system, planning ahead and using community resources, you can create a more balanced and positive experience for both you and your loved one.
Vanessa Haviland, MA, CRC, LPC, is vice president of clinical services at Gesher Human Services. Gesher operates Clubhouse for the Common Good, a day program for people living with serious mental illnesses, located in The Lois and Milton Y. Zussman Center in Southfield. Clubhouse members take part in a work-ordered day, which might mean seeking employment, furthering their education, making and serving meals, working in the horticultural unit, creating a newsletter, or enhancing their wellness and relationships. Everyone shares the space, with staff and members considered colleagues without hierarchy. Individuals diagnosed with a serious mental health condition, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or severe depression, who might be interested in attending Clubhouse can call (248) 233-4325. More information is available at geshermi.org.
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