RACINE, Minn. (KIMT) – A former police officer is sharing his experience with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to help others suffering in silence.
David Dyke spent 24 years in law enforcement. First as a Fillmore County Sheriff’s deputy, then as an undercover narcotics officer for the Southeast Minnesota Narcotics and Gang Taskforce. He was also an officer for the City of Austin, where he obtained a hostage negotiation certification.
He said the years on the job really started to take a toll.
“I saw a lot of really tragic things,” Dyke said. “It wore me down and I tried to hide it until I couldn’t. The alcohol and the self destruction, I was in a dark place. I was on my steps contemplating suicide.”
Dyke married his wife Christi in 2018, after dating for about a year. She said when they were dating they would talk about some of his mental health struggles, but he always denied having PTSD.
“He was adamant he didn’t have PTSD or depression,” Christi said. “He would say he had anxiety because he felt that was accepted and normal, but to consider depression or PTSD, that was not spoken about in our house.”
Christi said about three weeks after they got married, she started to see changes in Dave.
“You know withdrawing, the anger, very short tempered, which was very not like him at all,” she said.
Dave was eventually diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and got professional help at a residential treatment facility in Utah. He was there for 30 days and he said it was helpful. He also realized that sharing his story with others had a healing effect on him.
“Part of my therapy was to go out and tell people ‘hey, you’re not alone in your feelings,’” he said.
Sharing his story eventually turned into “Beneath the Badge,” a movement where he started sharing his story with law enforcement agencies around the area. Christi also joined in, hesitantly at first, but then she said she realized it was important for people to hear struggles from the spouse’s standpoint.
“Our story isn’t special,” Christi said. “We’re not different from anyone else. Wives get the chance to hear our story also and they say I’m living that right now and going through that hell right now at my house behind closed doors, and nobody knows about it. We’re giving people the chance to have those conversations and opening the door for people to talk about mental health.”
Over the last few years, “Beneath the Badge” has grown so much that Dave and Christi have traveled thousands of miles and gone to several states and countries telling their story. They have also recently written a book, and Dave has started resiliency coaching, working one-on-one with first responders who need help.
Dave said there is still very much a stigma when it comes to police officers and first responders reaching out for help when it comes to mental health concerns.
“There’s the stigma out there that if you reach out and get help that shows you are weak, that you aren’t meant to do the job,” Dave said. That’s so discouraging. They think if they show any bend in their armor they are weak. It’s the exact opposite. That’s strength.”
Minnesota considers suicides as line of duty deaths. Dave said as this is National Police Week, it’s important to remember how PTSD has most likely contributed to several line of duty deaths.
“I know that a lot of agencies don’t report the suicides because they aren’t mandated but I would be curious of the 366 names going on the wall this week how many are PTSD/suicide related,” he said.
When asked if he thought agencies were doing enough to support police and first responders struggling with their mental health, Dave said he has mixed feelings about it.
“You know- I hear that they are, and I hear that they’re not. I’ve gotten both sides of it,” he said. “Just hearing from the ones that I know are doing it, I worry that some of the programs that are out there now are going to become just ‘check the box programs.’ The once a year things. And so on because man- my nightmares weren’t once a year.”
Dave said Christi said several times when they have given talks, they are met with resistance, especially from police officers, but many reach out to them privately after the events.
“We want them to know they are not alone,” Dave said. “It’s okay to not be okay.”
For more information on Beneath the Badge, click here.
If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available by calling or texting the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.