I am so glad you and your baby got such expert help and support! Thank you for sharing this, too. A LOT of new parents have difficulty dealing with all the stress and challenges around pregnancy, birth and caring for their newborn! Everyone deserves knowledgeable and guilt-free support. It should be seen as part of the whole process and not “just” for emergencies.
I often thaught that would have been helpful for me. I wasn't diagnosed that time, too, had a very horrible birth although I had a midwife from third month of pregnancy, planned homebirth (to have fullcontrol…). So then I had to go to hospital because my trombocite went down dramatically, birth was started and no pain meds. I was very young, got unplanned alone pregnant poor with no family or other support, lived in a flat with coal-oven-heating. Nobody told me it can get extremly traumatic to give birth after beeing vio***ed. I was so overwhelmed, cried every evening the first YEARS. Felt alone with that and beeing a bad mother.
After one time then why did you put yourself through it another two times. I know I would never cope with pregnancy, giving birth, nor parenting, so I’ve never done it.
I love this. I have ADD and i was chronically ill having my first baby. They told me i couldnt get pregnant but I did and I was having guilt issues. I felt guilty keeping my baby because i wanted the best thing for him not a sick mom and i felt guilty if i would halt the pregnancy. Obviously i kept my child. He is my responsebility. I was scared. How was I going to survive this. I didnt want to fall short on his needs and having him hating me afterwards. I only had a bit of help from my parents, but we survived. It was hard. And i felt depressed for over a year. And had many meltdowns. Fortunately we are okay now.
Thank you for sharing and normalising your experience. We also have these units in New Zealand, and they are a valuable part of maternal mental health care. It seems like you're in a good place now, i hope you enjoy your babies and feel supported ❤
I too was in a mother and baby unit. My heart goes out to the family of Fern Foster whose inquest I was reading about recently. Be careful and look after yourselves out there Aut/AuDHD mums
Thank you for sharing that. There have been times in recent years where I have thought about admitting myself, and someone else in my family is in a place now where inpatient could be recommended in a potentially mandatory way. The idea is very scary, and for some legitimate reasons: psychiatric facilities in the US have historically been problematic, and that still occurs. A facility intended for new mothers in crisis should obviously be focused on aid and not judgment — but of course, all mental health services should be. I hope some day they all are.
What a wonderful way to help those who need extra support after giving birth! Whether you're AuDHD, have postpartum depression, or simply overwhelmed, having people who understand your needs coming to your aid is an incredible gift. I wish every hospital had a unit like that.
Oh my gosh! I could’ve used some help like that. My delivery was so traumatic and I was barely functioning. It was one of the most difficult times of my life and my ex-husband was nowhere to be found in my time of need. It’s amazing I didn’t un alive myself back then. I wanted three children, but only ended up with one due to the severe trauma I experienced. I had serious postpartum for a year. I remember this day and days after like it was yesterday.
Oh my goodness, what a wonderful help. I imagine scary at the time, but what a help.
I had such a hard time that I basically couch surfed for his first 4 months to anyone who was willing to help, then moved back to my home state to live with my family. At the time, I only had the diagnosis of adhd and Bipolar. So I just thought I'd be fine once the meds were on board, I was not. I now know that what we all called a Bipolar mood swings were actually Autistic meltdowns.
This is one of the important reasons to have a doula. A post natal doula can come and do all the helpful things that you need like these people did, look after the baby, cook, clean, give advice, assist with things and teiage visitors. Its underrated x
Which I have autistic and ADHD lol and I actually went to a facility because I am am almost it’s something called SH you can look that up if you wanna know what that is
I'm about to go to a mother and baby unit 😭 I don't want to go but social work are claiming I'm not fit to raise a baby so it's either 6 months in a unit, or my baby will be removed at birth and put into Foster care! 😭 it's adding so much more stress
apparently my assistance dog isn't allowed to go which makes it even worse, cuz not only do I have to be in a strange place in a different city with a new baby for 6 months, without my dog to help me, but when I get her back she's guna need to be retrained 😭😭😭😭
26 Comments
I don't think that we have those in the USA. (At least not that I have heard of).
I am glad that you could get the support!
Wow, I’ve never heard of that, that is so amazing!!!
I am so glad you and your baby got such expert help and support! Thank you for sharing this, too. A LOT of new parents have difficulty dealing with all the stress and challenges around pregnancy, birth and caring for their newborn! Everyone deserves knowledgeable and guilt-free support. It should be seen as part of the whole process and not “just” for emergencies.
I often thaught that would have been helpful for me.
I wasn't diagnosed that time, too, had a very horrible birth although I had a midwife from third month of pregnancy, planned homebirth (to have fullcontrol…).
So then I had to go to hospital because my trombocite went down dramatically, birth was started and no pain meds.
I was very young, got unplanned alone pregnant poor with no family or other support, lived in a flat with coal-oven-heating.
Nobody told me it can get extremly traumatic to give birth after beeing vio***ed. I was so overwhelmed, cried every evening the first YEARS. Felt alone with that and beeing a bad mother.
Good You talk about that there is help!
Thank you for sharing!
The USA doesn’t offer this, which is sad.
After one time then why did you put yourself through it another two times. I know I would never cope with pregnancy, giving birth, nor parenting, so I’ve never done it.
That's amazing. I've never heard of a unit like that. We're so behind in the states. I'm glad you had that resource! ❤
What are those tubes on your wall?
Wow. You had 3 kids and ended up in a psych ward after each?! Why did you keep having babies? I'm not asking to be mean I'm just so curious.
I love this. I have ADD and i was chronically ill having my first baby. They told me i couldnt get pregnant but I did and I was having guilt issues. I felt guilty keeping my baby because i wanted the best thing for him not a sick mom and i felt guilty if i would halt the pregnancy. Obviously i kept my child. He is my responsebility. I was scared. How was I going to survive this. I didnt want to fall short on his needs and having him hating me afterwards. I only had a bit of help from my parents, but we survived. It was hard. And i felt depressed for over a year. And had many meltdowns. Fortunately we are okay now.
Thank you for sharing and normalising your experience. We also have these units in New Zealand, and they are a valuable part of maternal mental health care. It seems like you're in a good place now, i hope you enjoy your babies and feel supported ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this Ella. I cant imagine it was easy going through all of that and not knowing you were adhd/autistic. ❤❤
❤
I too was in a mother and baby unit. My heart goes out to the family of Fern Foster whose inquest I was reading about recently. Be careful and look after yourselves out there Aut/AuDHD mums
Thank you for sharing that. There have been times in recent years where I have thought about admitting myself, and someone else in my family is in a place now where inpatient could be recommended in a potentially mandatory way. The idea is very scary, and for some legitimate reasons: psychiatric facilities in the US have historically been problematic, and that still occurs. A facility intended for new mothers in crisis should obviously be focused on aid and not judgment — but of course, all mental health services should be. I hope some day they all are.
Thank you so much for sharing. (Diagnosed aged 50 sobit late to the party.)
Your posts have really helped my sanity on my authenticity journey. ❤
What a wonderful way to help those who need extra support after giving birth! Whether you're AuDHD, have postpartum depression, or simply overwhelmed, having people who understand your needs coming to your aid is an incredible gift. I wish every hospital had a unit like that.
Could you go into detail what was done over the course of those three months that stabilized you?
Wondering what could be done for someone with a child that doesn’t have the opportunity of inpatient care.
Oh my gosh! I could’ve used some help like that. My delivery was so traumatic and I was barely functioning. It was one of the most difficult times of my life and my ex-husband was nowhere to be found in my time of need. It’s amazing I didn’t un alive myself back then. I wanted three children, but only ended up with one due to the severe trauma I experienced. I had serious postpartum for a year. I remember this day and days after like it was yesterday.
Oh my goodness, what a wonderful help. I imagine scary at the time, but what a help.
I had such a hard time that I basically couch surfed for his first 4 months to anyone who was willing to help, then moved back to my home state to live with my family. At the time, I only had the diagnosis of adhd and Bipolar. So I just thought I'd be fine once the meds were on board, I was not. I now know that what we all called a Bipolar mood swings were actually Autistic meltdowns.
I bet you're a great mother and your kids are fab!
This is one of the important reasons to have a doula. A post natal doula can come and do all the helpful things that you need like these people did, look after the baby, cook, clean, give advice, assist with things and teiage visitors. Its underrated x
Which I have autistic and ADHD lol and I actually went to a facility because I am am almost it’s something called SH you can look that up if you wanna know what that is
I'm about to go to a mother and baby unit 😭
I don't want to go but social work are claiming I'm not fit to raise a baby so it's either 6 months in a unit, or my baby will be removed at birth and put into Foster care! 😭
it's adding so much more stress
apparently my assistance dog isn't allowed to go which makes it even worse, cuz not only do I have to be in a strange place in a different city with a new baby for 6 months, without my dog to help me, but when I get her back she's guna need to be retrained 😭😭😭😭
I can't handle this 😭😭😭
You are so strong❤❤❤