Tips for kids’ mental health as summer break begins
FROM TRIALS. FIVE ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH NOW SAYING SO LONG TO SCHOOL FOR THE SUMMER. MANY KIDS MAY NOT MISS THE CLASSROOM. THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE THEY’LL MISS THEIR FRIENDS. HERE WITH ADVICE IS DOCTOR ERIKA LEE, A PSYCHOLOGIST AT BOSTON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL. HI, DOCTOR LEE. HI, DOCTOR LEE, DID YOU LOOK FORWARD TO SUMMER OR DID YOU DREAD SUMMER WHEN YOU WERE IN SCHOOL? WELL, I WAS A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH BECAUSE I LOVED SCHOOL, BUT I WAS ALSO REALLY EXCITED TO HAVE LESS TO DO. RIGHT, RIGHT. I KNOW A FEW DAYS AWAY IS WONDERFUL. SO. SO HERE WE ARE. WE’RE IN THE MONTH OF JUNE. IT’S A BIG TRANSITION PERIOD FOR A LOT OF KIDS AND A LOT OF FAMILIES, RIGHT? MANY OF THE KIDS GO FROM MATH TESTS TO SWIM LESSONS OR A TIGHT SCHEDULE TO NO SCHEDULE. BUT OVERALL, IT’S I THINK CHANGE IS GOOD. IS CHANGE GOOD? YEAH, THAT’S A GREAT QUESTION. I THINK LEARNING TO ADAPT TO CHANGE IS GENERALLY A GOOD THING, BECAUSE THIS IS A SKILL THAT OUR KIDS WILL NEED THEIR WHOLE LIFE. BUT A LOT OF KIDS DO FIND THAT TRANSITION, JUST AS YOU’RE DESCRIBING FROM THAT VERY STRUCTURED AND PREDICTABLE SCHOOL YEAR SCHEDULE, TO SORT OF THESE OPEN ENDED DAYS OF SUMMER KIND OF CHALLENGING BECAUSE THEY’RE USED TO FOLLOWING THE SAME ROUTINES. MOST DAYS, THEY’RE HAVING CONSISTENT CONTACT WITH THEIR FRIENDS, THEIR TEACHERS, THEIR COACHES. IT CAN ACTUALLY BE KIND OF STRESSFUL WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE’S A LOT MORE FREE TIME, ESPECIALLY FOR OUR KIDS WHO HAVE ANXIETY OR HAVE A HARD TIME WITH CHANGE ANYWAY. ALL RIGHT. WITH THAT SAID, DO YOU THINK PARENTS SHOULD ENCOURAGE THEIR KIDS TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SCHOOL FRIENDS TO. OH GREAT QUESTION. SO I THINK SOME OF THIS DEPENDS ON THE KIDS BECAUSE SOME KIDS ARE KIDS ARE REALLY EXCITED TO GET AWAY FROM SCHOOL FRIENDS, AND SOME ARE REALLY CLOSE TO THEM AND ARE GOING TO MISS THEM OVER THE SUMMER. AND IT’S ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT HARDER BECAUSE THE SCHEDULES CHANGE. SOME KIDS ARE AWAY, SOME KIDS GO TO CAMP, ETC. IT MAY BE A LOT HARDER TO SEE OUR SCHOOL FRIENDS AND IT IS NICE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS, LET’S SAY AT SUMMER CAMP OR ON VACATION, BUT ALSO MEANINGFUL TO STAY CONNECTED TO THE FRIENDS THAT YOU CARE ABOUT AT SCHOOL. SO THAT’S WHERE SOMETHING LIKE SCHEDULING SOME PLAY DATES, EVEN IF THEY’RE INFREQUENT OR FACETIME CALLS, CAN BE HELPFUL. I ALSO KNOW SOME KIDS LIKE TO SEND EACH OTHER NOTES OR POSTCARDS FROM WHEREVER THEY ARE. IT’S REALLY ABOUT MAINTAINING THAT FRIENDSHIP, EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER EVERY DAY IN SCHOOL. YEAH. SO AS EVERYBODY KNOWS NOW, IT’S JUNE, SO EVERYBODY’S CALENDAR IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT. IT COULD BE DAYS, IT COULD BE WEEKS, IT COULD BE EVEN HOURS BEFORE WE HIT THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. BUT AT SOME POINT THIS SUMMER, PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR A SMALL LITTLE VOICE SAYING, MOMMY AND DADDY, I’M BORED. I’M LONELY. SO WHAT ARE SOME WAYS THAT YOU SHOULD RESPOND TO THAT? YEAH, I LOVE THIS QUESTION BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT FEELING BORED OR LONELY IS CHALLENGING FOR A LOT OF KIDS AND ALSO ADULTS. AND THEN THIS BECOMES MUCH MORE COMMON OVER THE SUMMER WHEN YOUR SCHOOL IS SO MUCH MORE OPEN. I ACTUALLY THINK OF BOREDOM IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING BECAUSE SIMILAR TO ADJUSTING TO CHANGE FOR OUR KIDS, LEARNING TO SIT WITH NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND THEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO RESPOND TO THEM IN HEALTHY AND PROACTIVE WAYS IS A SKILL THAT THEY’RE GOING TO NEED THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. AND ACTUALLY HAVING TIME WITH NOTHING TO DO MAKES THEM HAVE TO BE CREATIVE, AND PROBLEM SOLVING GIVES THEM TIME TO EXPLORE AND THINK AND PRETEND. I FIND THAT IT HELPS TO START BY ASKING YOUR KID WHAT YOU MEAN BY BEING BORED, BECAUSE FOR SOME KIDS, IT GENUINELY IS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. RIGHT NOW, I HAVE NOTHING. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO, BUT OTHER KIDS SAY THAT THEY’RE BORED WHEN THEY’RE FRUSTRATED, WHEN THEY’RE SAD, WHEN THEY’RE OVERWHELMED. SO YOU CAN HELP THEM BE A LITTLE BIT MORE SPECIFIC AND THEN PROBLEM SOLVE ACCORDINGLY. THAT’S GOOD. THAT’S GOOD ADVICE.
Boston Children’s psychologist Dr. Erica Lee shares simple ways parents can help kids handle the shift from school to summer.
Boston Children’s psychologist Dr. Erica Lee shares simple ways parents can help kids handle the shift from school to summer.