6.
“Therapy directly transformed my marriage, and the change can be traced back to September 2024. We started family therapy to help our daughter, but we realized we also had our own things to work on as a couple. I went by myself once when my wife was sick, and the therapist asked me, ‘What could you do differently at home?’”
“This question gave me pause because I’d never really thought about that. I mentioned a few ideas, including reintroducing nonsexual physical touch that I hadn’t done in years. That last one did SO much for my wife. She began to initiate sex often, not just ‘duty sex,’ and it was clear how much she enjoyed it.
I was so grateful that I started doing more around the house: Cleaning, picking up, laundry. We had always shared the load of keeping house, but what used to be chores of necessity became an enthusiastic act of service to show my appreciation to my wife, and guess what? She responded to that, too. She gave me even more of what I wanted.
This started a virtuous cycle that has continued since that fateful therapy session. Each of us gives more of what the other person wants, and we openly communicate about how we can please the other person even more. We talked about all this in therapy a few weeks later. The therapist told us, ‘Where you are is where I wanted you to be.’ We asked if we needed to come back. Nope. We’re done here!”